Changed By You
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: GaaNaru fic that holds the 'hidden' thoughts and feelings of Gaara and Naruto. takes place from before Deidara kidnapped Gaara to his death and ressurection with some changes throughout. from there i go off-anime and into some fluff/angst. T for reasons.
1. Prelude: Perspectives

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

It was ironic that he chose the kanji character for love, 'ai', as something to wear on his forehead. It was also interesting, somehow. Or perhaps foreboding, but I doubted it. It was red and crude, and looked from afar like a poorly made tattoo. But I knew better. I've been close enough to him in battle to see what it truly was: a scar. A burden from the past.

It's not like I was going to ask him how or why he got it, and it's not like it would be something good to know. Having anything carved into your skin like that wasn't pretty, and it wasn't something you'd want to know the reason for. It was kind of … _disgusting._

…At least, this is what I used to think.

Now, it's a little different. Gaara's proven himself to be someone else throughout the years. Well, the past two and a half years, that is. He's grown up quite a bit; he's no longer that homicidal psychopath we all knew him to be. And Sakura has whispered to me once: _"I heard it began after that day you two fought when his demon came out. He's never been the same since." _

I really don't think he changed **this much** because of me. But I sure as hell bet I knocked a little sense into him back then!

* * *

**_Sabaku no Gaara_**

Uzumaki Naruto. Someone just about everyone knew. And I know him, too. I know him better than he thinks. We're alike, after all … two poor souls who were burdened with a legendary demon, once alone and fear, if not a little hated. _Jinchuuriki._

For so long I didn't know anyone else was out there, I didn't know that anyone else could possibly relate to me. But now I know.

And even though it was gruesome trial – finding myself, I mean – I got through it, thanks to him. That one blonde ninja who used to be so … well, just ask anyone he knows. They'll tell you. He was practically obnoxious.

But like me, I've heard he's changed. Not much … but a little. And I hope he sees how I've changed, and what I've become. Because even I'm fond of it.

Not being Kazekage, though. I don't mean I'm fond of all of _that_; as that Nara guy would say, 'it's very troublesome'. But I meant who I am as a person now. I like **that.**

_And maybe he will, too. _

I know for a fact my siblings do. Temari actually smiles at me now without wincing or forcing it to her lips.

And I can smile slightly in return.

* * *

**EDIT: I have found my 'inspiration' and figured out my plans for this fic now, so within the next few hours of today, April 23, expect an update of a few new chapters. /EDIT**

**-gaspth- Could this be a possible NaruGaa fanfic? I almost want it to be, however ... I'm not entirely sure what will happen. I'd probably refer to the pre-death, death, and resurrection period of Shippuuden, swicthing POVs for Naruto and Gaara, until I'd go into something totally off-episode and un-Shippuuden related and have them end up somewhat together, haha. Or something like that.**

**Anyway, read and tell me what you think. Should I continue, GaaNaru yaoi fans?? **


	2. The Villages of Sand and Leaf

It started off as an uncharacteristically cool day in Suna.

But you have to understand that to the people of Sunagakure, 'cool' has a whole different meaning than it does to you or me. To them, it simply means that the blistering, deadly heat was milder to the point of merely being uncomfortable. The humidity was gone from the air, and the desert winds have died down to nearly nonexistent.

Kankurou grumbled to himself about the weather, mostly about how it felt unsettling, as if it was trying to warn him of something.

A little sheepishly, he trudged up the stairs and down the hall, winding his way around the Kazekage building until he came to the door to the main office. He knocked a little anxiously, having been sent from an ambassador's meeting with the decisions the council had made (which, come to think of it, the Kazekage should've attended…).

There came a "Un," from inside, and the puppeteer took this grunt of acknowledgement as an invite inside. He slipped in like the ninja he was, the door making a dry click as it shut behind his back. Awkwardly, he cleared his throat.

"Kazekage-sama," he says politely, "I have some news from the head council –"

"Kankurou," the redhead replies dully, "You don't have to be so formal. We're siblings."

Kankurou gave a half-nod, something between a shrug and a wince. "Right. Well. I need you to look at this," he tells the younger boy, whom at the moment was skim reading and signing the papers off to the side of his desk.

Sighing, the redhead takes the thin packet of paper – which he noticed were merely notes someone took at the meeting – and began to read. His eyes stopped dead near the bottom of the page. "I knew it," he mutters.

"Knew what, Gaara?" Kankurou asked. After all, he'd been the one recording the notes (although being the scribe of the meeting really wasn't his thing).

"I knew they'd be after me eventually." Gaara says curtly.

"Hn? Oh, you mean that damn Akatsuki. Yeah, I heard you and that Uzumaki kid were on their target list," the brunette says angrily.

"It's because they want him," Gaara continues, as if he hadn't heard his older brother. "They want Shukaku and all his power."

Kankurou frowns. "Is that all? Well, they can have him then." He knew what a burden that demon was to Gaara; in more ways than one.

Suddenly Gaara was standing up, sending his brother a piercing look from his light teal eyes, and Kankurou tensed. "You don't know, do you?" Gaara asks.

"K-know what?" Kankurou says a little frightened; he remembers what that looks means. And although the redhead hasn't given that look in a long time, and it didn't feel quite as strong as before, Kankurou still knew that look.

"That it'd kill me. If they rip Shukaku out of my body, my life will go along with him."

He sounded a little sad. This changed Kankurou's fear into worry. "What?! No! You can't be serious, Gaara!"

"But I am," he says softly. He sits down at his chair behind the desk again. He glances out the window. "Although I doubt they'll even reach me."

Kankurou's worried espression dissipated some. "You have a point there." Gaara was known for his ability to use the sand around him as his top defense, and the sand usually protected him even out of his will. It was natural. Kankurou knew this is what he meant by 'reaching' him. "You should be fine, Gaara."

His brother didn't reply, only continued to look out the window. His expression was blank, but there were hints of skepticism in his eyes.

* * *

**_Sabaku no Gaara_**

I knew it was coming. I could sense it; and I guessed that Kankurou could sense it as well. It was an eerie feeling creeping it way across the desert sands. After a moment or two, Kankurou turned to leave. "Weird weather today, ne?" he stated on his way out. "Maybe a storm's coming."

I didn't turn, didn't show any movements to know I heard him. He took the silence as his signal to leave, but just before he closed the door behind him I muttered, "It appears that way, doesn't it?"

I wasn't agreeing with him. The tone I used made it sound like I had said, 'the storm is only a cover; there's something else coming in it's stead'. Or something to that extent.

There was a soft thud, and then I was alone in the circular room once more. Distantly, I watched the sun set. Something told me it was going to be a rough in the next couple weeks. With a sigh through my nose, I picked up the cup of coffee that had been resting on my desk and took a sip, wanting the caffeine to kick in before I got too tired.

_Needs less water and more bean,_ I thought offhandedly.

* * *

**–In Konoha–**

Naruto was so happy to be home. It was like a sweet gift from the gods, or whatever it is people chose to believe in. Either way, it was some sort of gift from an upper power, and it was also a gift one gives oneself. Because the blonde knew you never really miss a place until you've been away from it for a long time.

As he passed the front gates of Konohagakure with Jiraiya, and vaguely appreciated the surprised and smiling faces of the guards up front (whom he recognized from his Chunnin exams so long ago).

Just looking at the warm, cool-breezed city (if you could call it that) he was filled with all sorts of nostalgia. Although he'd like to stop at the ramen shop right away and get something to eat, he decided it'd be better to head back to his apartment to unload his bags, stop and see the old hag and tell her he's back, then maybe say hello to Sakura. And then, after that, maybe he could eat.

He walked down the dirt road, aiming for a red, wooden pole, hoping to run up it and get a better view of his hometown. Jiraiya was far behind him, but he looked to he headed straight for Tsunade's office. Naruto didn't care; he'll go at his own pace. He wanted to take it slow and enjoy the wave of nostalgia that to his mind, flooding with memories from nearly three years ago. It felt like so long ago that he was a 12-year-old boy, nearly 13, awaiting his next training session so that he could get stronger and stronger, so that one day he may retrieve Sasuke like he promised. So that, when the time came around where Itachi and his shark-looking companion were after him again, he could kick their asses.

Smiling broadly, Naruto slid down the side of the pole to the ground to find a girl with pink hair staring at him, a pleasant grin overtaking her lips. "Good to see you've returned," she said lightly with a cock of the head and a close-eyed smile.

The blonde boy resisted the urge to hug Sakura, and succeeded. "Oi, Sakura-chan! Long time no see, eh?"

She chuckled shortly. "Tell me about it. So how'd it go? Learn something new?"

"You bet! I'm stronger than ever!" he informed her, making a muscle-y pose. "What about you, Sakura-chan?"

He winked and put up a finger, as if scolding him. "Ah-ah-ah," she grinned, waving her finger. "You'll just have to wait and see."

He frowned. "Come on, Sakura-chan, that's no fair…"

She was about to respond, but she realized something: he was _taller_. "Say, Naruto, did you get… _taller_?" she asked, flattening her hand and measuring the top of her head to his.

"Yep!" he chirped. "So much that, eh-heh, I had to buy new clothes. But that's okay, because my old ones were getting worn from training anyway."

The medical nin scrutinized him, her green-blue eyes scanning him top to bottom. He seemed… different. More mature, maybe. She smiled again. "You've changed, Naruto."

He shrugged. "I don't feel like I did besides the new jutsus I learned. But if you say so, then sure."

She looked sideways at him, hopeful. "What about me? Did I change, too?" She wanted to hear a 'yes'; after all, she was much more developed and had gotten stronger, too.

"Nope; you're still the same old Sakura-chan!" Naruto said happily.

A stress mark appeared on her forehead, and she punched him with her recently-acquired superhuman strength. Naruto went flying into the dirt, face-first. He grunted and spit some dirt clods from his mouth, which now tasted like mud. He jumped up, a little angry. "Oi, Sakura-chan! What the hell was that for?!"

"For being a baka!" she retorted.

He was about to reply with something nasty, but it was then he looked down at his flight path and realized what it is she had done. "Kami, Sakura, just what did Tsunade-obaasama teach you?!"

"_Hokage-sama_," she emphasized, not liking his disrespect, "Taught me just about everything she could, I'll have you know. I can hit just as hard as she can, and heal people just as fast."

The blue-eyed boy whistled long and low. "Wow."

"Yeah, so you better learn to keep that big mouth of yours shut, or else I'll pop you in the face next time!" she smirks.

Naruto sweat dropped. "I'll remember that next time."

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

Man, who knew so much could change in so little time? I mean, some stuff never changes; like Kakashi-sensei and his Icha Icha Paradise novels, or the taste of ramen. But other things do. And, I found out, out of those things the changes came especially from the people.

Take Konohamaru for example: the kid is a little less annoying now, and acts more like… well, me when I was that age. Or close to it.

Or what about my comrades like Neji and Shikamaru? Both of them, resentfully, are at a higher level than me, but I'll catch up. And then that girl Temari, one of Gaara's teammates? Yeah, well she's in Konoha right now working with Shikamaru (who insists it's all work and no play between them, but I know better). Funniest thing, too, about her: she told me what became of Gaara.

And you won't believe this. He's the freaking **Kazekage**. I wanted to yell 'NANI?!' at the top of my lungs in surprise, so I did. I mean, 'what the hell', right? They won't even make me Hokage! "That's it," I told Shika and Temari, "I'll definitely train more so that I can surpass Gaara and become Hokage sooner!"

Temari seemed to laugh at me with her eyes, and Shikamaru just shook his head like, 'dream on'. Thanks a lot, Nara, that makes me feel _so_ confident.

But I guess I'm fine with it; because, really, I was happy for Gaara. Maybe people actually respect him now instead of fear him. Maybe they like him as their 'kage instead of hate him as a person, and won't call him 'bakemono' anymore.

And that's exactly why I wanted to be Hokage in the first place.


	3. The Wrong Approach

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

I wanted to get this horrible taste out of my mouth. It was like dry sand and stale coffee, which was not a good combination. But at the same time, I was a little tired and unwilling to get up. I wasn't allowed to sleep, but I sure wanted to right about now. Still, I need water to wash that taste away.

Stiffly, I stood and cracked my neck from sitting down for so long. I walked slowing out the door to the bathroom, wanting a drink from the sink, maybe a splash of water on my sleepy face. I haven't slept (basically) since I was born, which gave me terrible bruises around my eyes like poorly-applied eyeliner. You'd think that after so long I'd be used to the constant state of insomnia, but it was quite the opposite: I longed for sleep and fought with myself to stay awake. Often I would drink coffee or a shot of espresso just to get a jolt of caffeine in my system.

I came to the bathroom door just then, remembering that I ought to be at home in my own bathroom. I wonder if Temari figured out I wasn't coming home tonight; after all, I never showed up for dinner, and it's far passed that time now.

I stripped my hands and face of the layer of sand I use to coat my skin, the extra defense I have for last-minute unexpected attacks. As soon as it curled up from my hands like sleeves and rested on my forearms, I rinsed off anything leftover before cupping my bare hands and raising them to my awaiting mouth. It was chilly and tasted less metallic than it usually does. I found that somewhat refreshing, and continued to drink more before splashing it on my face.

But when the sink water came in contact of my face, I shivered involuntarily, my scar burning with an icy coolness. Even some odd years after I first had it burned to my skull by sand, anger and tears, it still remains a fleshy pink that looks red because of the sun and dry heat. I realized it needed a good rising; maybe if I wore less sand armor and kept my face clean of sand and dirt, it might be less red. I shrugged inwardly. _Whatever._

With a sigh I turned off the faucet, dabbing my face dry with my gauzy Kazekage robes. I don't care if my robes are a little damp; they'll be dry again soon enough.

As I walked out of the bathroom, a thought – rather, a **premonition** – entered my mind. _It's coming soon._ I was more of thinking of a light sandstorm outside the walls of Suna, but maybe it was something else. A twinge of fear pricked the back of my throat, and I wondered if the Akatsuki were going to come for me sooner than I had thought; maybe more like days than weeks.

* * *

A day or so later, Gaara found that he had been right. A white bird too big to be real flew above the city, a blonde with a ponytail and Akatsuki cloak around his shoulders riding it's back. Gaara scowled to himself, ripping off his Kazekage robes and donning his red pants and jacket, a light brown vest strapping his gourd to his back. Calmly he stepped out to the balcony that overlooked the front half of Suna behind the gates, and he waited for the man to land.

No way in hell was he going to go down, especially without a fight.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

Remember what I said about some things never changing? Well, I got another shred of proof of that today: Kakashi-sensei still had his 'steal the bells from me' way of training. But this time around, it seems things did change: Sakura and I won easily. All I had to do was lie about the ending of his new Icha book, and he was putty in our hands.

Walking down the streets now after the sun had set, I found myself absolutely starving. "Oi, I haven't had any Ichiraku Ramen yet!"

Sakura laughed. "That's a first; I'd thought you'd have some the second you got in town."

I smiled back and ran ahead of them both, and soon Sakura was right behind me. "Kakashi-sensei, treat us to dinner!"

"Yeah!" Sakura agreed, "Treat us, treat us!" We were calling back to him since he had stopped walking for some reason. I suddenly realized that Ero-Sennin had appeared right next to him, saying something in a low voice.

Jiraiya was soon gone, and then Kakashi stated: "I have some lists to make… so I'm going to head out."

_Poof,_ he was gone, shunshinned away. Next to me, Sakura rolled her eyes. "You know he's just going to read that new book."

I shrugged. "Probably." Then a thought occurred to me: "Ne, S-Sakura-chan, maybe this means we can go on a date…?"

She flashed me a smile I didn't like. "Sure, but you're paying."

I bit my lip as she walked ahead to the ramen shop. "But…" I looked down at my green frog money pouch. "You can at least pay for half!"

"No way!" I heard her say.

Chikushou. I'll be broke after this.

* * *

**-In Suna-**

Citizens who heard the racket from their bedrooms came peaking out the windows or pouring out into the streets, staring up at the sandy and explosive battle raging on in the air. 'It's only a matter of time now before one of them loses…' were the words frozen on the lips of the older citizens, ninjas whom have seen it all. And most everyone hoped – wished – no, more like prayed it wasn't their Kazekage. As much as he was hated before, he has done so much for them since then.…

Which moved everyone into action. Gaara couldn't see it, but below him battle preparations were being made. "Get Everyone inside! We can't afford any casualties! We have to support Kazekage-sama!"

But Gaara was struggling. All the jutsus and sand in the world couldn't help him any more than it was at this moment; he had to hand it to the Akatsuki: they really knew how to fight. And he was only fighting one of them.

Unlike Naruto, Gaara wasn't as confident while facing a foe; at least, not anymore he wasn't. But luckily he was just as determined.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

_I have to protect my city, my nation. I have to do whatever I can to get rid of this guy. I have to protect Temari and Kankurou, and all the children at home getting ready for bed after dinner, and all the women and men living in the sand walls below me. I have to protect them all, even if none of them would ever protect me._

This was all that was going through my mind as I sent wave after wave, streams upon streams of sand at my flying target. He tried some paper explosives in the shapes of animals, but they hardly grazed me. _I have him on the run,_ I think, a particular stream of sand beginning to climb up his left arm like a rough desert boa. "Sabaku reikyuu!"

There was a satisfying crunch of bone as his left arm shattered and tore off the rest of his body. The blonde man called out in anguish, but after a moment he was smiling. But why would he be smiling?

With only one arm, his smile faded fast, and he frowned at me. "I'm tired of looking at your impassive face."

And with that he spit out a large white object from his right hand that slowly grew into a hollow, footless angel with a moaning face and plump body. My eyes widened. If this is anything like his other tiny bombs, this could destroy… oh, oh no.

It flapped it's wings once before plummeting down to the dark, cold city below. Openmouthed, I racked my brain for an idea, and fast. I needed to… I needed to…

Like the games all villains play, he began to speak as I watched the winged bomb descend. "I make my exploding dolls by eating clay with my hands and combining it with my chakra."

I was hardly listening, hardly cared. What I cared about, if anything at all, was that the people I just told myself to protect were about to die in a flurry of dust and flames.

"My specialty is infused with… highest level… C-3…"

He just kept talking, and all the while the bomb was gaining speed. Kuso, kuso… what should I do…!

"…Greatest feat as an artist!"

_Shut up already! I can't think…_ and I honestly couldn't. I, Sabaku No Gaara, Kazekage of Sunakagure, was finally feeling helpless and afraid. And for once, not afraid for myself, but for others. _What would Naruto do in a situation like this…?_ I asked myself.

**I'd dive in and stop it from reaching everyone.**

It was like I heard it plainly in my ear, although not quite with his voice. And it made sense to me in a twisted way.

"Everyone, retreat!" someone called.

"Too late… Art is… A BANG!"

I gasped, and felt my face turn pale.

And then the bomb went off.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

It was nice to smell the aroma coming from Ichiraku's again. I sort of missed it; it was like the smell of cooking children grow to love when they come home from a hard day's training to find their mother at the stove. Only, I've never had a mother figure, so for home cooking I turned to places like Ichiraku.

Inside I found the same two cooks that have become like old friends, and the old man turned to see who'd come in. "You haven't changed a bit!" I remark. "Remember me?"

"Naruto?" he asks, unsure. "Oi, Naruto! Of 'course I remember you; you're my best customer! Come sit down, the ramen's on me tonight. Pick any you like."

"No, actually, it's on my tonight," says a voice behind me. I find Iruka-sensei there; I almost wanted to laugh.

"Iruka-sensei!"

"I figured I'd find you here. How'd getting the bells from Kakashi go?"

I snickered. "Heh, perfectly."

"Tell us about it while we get your order," the woman behind the counter smiled. "Pork, right?"

"Like always!" I nod.

* * *

**-In Suna-**

When the smoke, fire and light faded, all you could see was a thick blanket of sand draped over Suna like a father tucking his daughter to bed.

Still cowering and awaiting impact, slowly the people who were left outside glanced upwards when they realized nothing had happened. "This… this is…"

"It's Kazekage-sama's sand!"

"Wow, look how big he made that shield!"

Kankurou smiled vaguely. "Nothing less from the Kazekage." His smile fell as he stared upwards. "Gaara…"

Across from the eggshell of sand hanging in the air, an owl-like bird with a blonde rider flapped closer and stared the redhead down. Gaara was panting; he had never had to use so much sand before, and it took a lot of chakra to do so. Now he knew what Konoha's 4th was feeling when he used so much chakra against the demon, but you could hardly compare this to something like that.

Still grinning, Deidara made a hand sign, once again making Gaara's eyes widen as he watched another small bird come across his vision, right in front of his face. "Katsu!"

_Boom._

"Gaara!" the puppet master yelled, staring up as if he couldn't believe what he just saw.

The smoke cleared, and it became known to all that were watching that he lived, but the sand around him was becoming cracked and chipped, tiny pieces falling to the ground below like a slow, unsure waterfall.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

Still panting, I vaguely wondered if I could take much more of this.

It was then that I realized, in my globe of sand in the air, about five spaces began to quiver and leak sand. I stared, slightly dumbfounded, until I saw about five paper spider-like creatures appear.

I had hardly any time to react before they exploded.


	4. Futile

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

It felt like I was starting to lose consciousness, which is never a good sign for someone like me. If I pass out, who knows what Shukaku will do to my soul and personality? But it hardly matters. Right now, with the last of my strength, I have to remove that shield above the city; if I get abducted or knocked unconscious, the jutsu will dissipate and dump Kami knows how much sand in that area. It'd be like a flood, and I can't ruin my people that way, not after what happened tonight.

That Akatsuki guy would not cease. He loomed closer, as if he were waiting for me to fall. I probably was.

Briefly I realized the men below were trying to attack with arrows, the tips carrying paper bombs. But at the moment, all I wanted to do was get the shield off the town below. "Just a little farther, Gaara!" my brother called to me. When I saw it hovering above the desert just beyond the gates, I relaxed my fist and let it fall.

Soon I too would be falling, because right now I felt my eyes ease shut for the first time in ages.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

Talking to Iruka, it made me become conscious of how much farther I have to go. I mean, because of Gaara, I never got to finish my Chunnin exams. Everyone else I knew was now a chunnin except me, the lonely gennin. "I won't let Gaara outdo me," I told Iruka. "I _will_ be the future Hokage!"

"You know when I said you really grew up?" Iruka said.

I nodded.

"Well, I don't take it back, but it seems on some things, you haven't changed."

I brought my ramen bowl up to my lips, sipping the last of the broth. "Yeah, well, I could say the same about you, Iruka-sensei!"

"I'm not your sensei anymore, really," he says lightly, a slightly sad reminder.

I give him a look. "You're still Iruka-sensei to me either way." _Because you were always there for me._

He smiles. "Whatever you say, Naruto."

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I think I was dreaming. It was swirling around, everything swirling: my hair, my clothes, my sand. All of it whirling around and brushing up to tickle my face and hands, and distantly it felt like my face armor was cracking. I more heard the impact than felt it, but suddenly everything slowed down as I lay – or thought I was laying down, since my head was tipped back – in something thick and mud-like.

I hoped I was dreaming. Because if I wasn't, that meant I was conscious but closed-eyed, and at the moment would be taken hostage by the self-proclaimed artist of the Akatsuki. If I was or wasn't dreaming, or if only the swirling part was the dream, I didn't know. But I hoped the impact part was a dream along with the swirling, or else it'd mean I was lying somewhere on that owl-like bird made of clay (or paper, or whatever).

I was too tired to move, too exhausted to even open my eyes. So I played dead, awaiting whatever fate that claimed me.

* * *

It didn't take long for Kankurou to go racing out after the Akatsuki member, determined to fetch his brother. Brashness would be his downfall, though. Because he hadn't expected a second party to be traveling with the high flying first, and he soon found out it was Master Sasori, the very man who created the puppets Kankurou was so known for. This gave the other an upper hand, and soon Kankurou found himself poisoned, laying face-down in the sand as the enemies got away.

Temari took him to their hospital and sent in for every medical nin she could, but the poison was taking it's toll.

It took even less time for Konoha, Suna's allies, to get a messenger hawk regarding their situation.

The second Naruto heard of it, he felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to say all sorts of things, shout them frantically, and demand to be taken to Suna straight away. And yet he found himself falling silent and still, like a yellow-topped slab of marble.

"You have to send us out there to help!" Sakura pleaded to Tsunade, also worried. Plus, she knew, her medical ninjutsu could come in handy.

"Believe me," Tsunade told her, "This is exactly the kind of mission I wanted to give Team Kakashi. And anyway, I realize it's a personal matter for… **some** of you…" she hinted, meaning the eerily silent Naruto. "Which in this sort of situation may be of use. But I'm having Team Gai come to back you up." She adds.

Kakashi rolled one gray eye. _'Great'_ the expression said sarcastically.

"I want you at Suna as soon as possible, so travel quickly; we don't know how many are hurt, or how far the Akatsuki has fled by now with the Kazekage."

There were short nods, a bow on the exit, and bodies racing home to hasty pack. Naruto was first into the forest on the way to Sunakagure, jumping tree to tree and not stopping. With his developed stamina and high levels of chakra stored up, he expected to cut the usual three days time to travel to Sunakagure in half.

Speaking of the Village of Sand, Chiyo, one of the elders still living, came to try and fix things. As much as she didn't want to work with the Leaf, it was their only choice. Besides, with a 'kage leader kidnapped, she thinks everything should be done to get them back. If they were good leaders and helped the city, they deserve to come back to it and keep their rule. That's generally her idea of things, although she did protest having a Jinchuuriki (and it be a young boy if that) as their 'leader'.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

I never knew time could pass so slowly. It felt like every minute – every second – that I was sitting, standing, or even sleeping, I was wasting time. Even when I was in the hospital in Suna, when I was stopping to camp while we were on the Akatsuki's trail, I felt like I was losing precious time, and possible one of my precious comrades. It was like losing Sasuke all over again, but to what this time? A disgusting, rotting part of my lower gut told me, 'to Death'. I bet it was that damn Kyuubi muttering it to make to make me feel worse than I already was. But I can't be sure.

Tonight, though, while we were camping in some woods that smelled like rainwater and moss, Sakura noticed my anxious way of fidgeting around in my sleeping bag. "Naruto," she said in a whisper, since Chiyo-baasama seemed to be asleep. "What's wrong with you? Normally you're snoring before the rest of any of us."

I tried to act like it was nothing. "Just… nerves, I guess. I'll be fine, 'ttebayo."

She gave me a look I knew well; it was her _'you aren't fooling me'_ look.

I sighed. "It's just… what if… what if I'm too late?" I choke out. "Who knows what the hell they want with him, or what they have to do to get it. I mean, why Gaara? Why not… why not someone else?" _Why not me? Wasn't Itachi after me just a few years ago? Is this what they were going to do if they had me instead? That way I could have been in his place, and they wouldn't have to go and… and…_

I don't know how, but she seemed to understand me perfectly. And after my thoughts had drifted away, she reassures me: "We won't be too late, you'll see."

For resting's sake, I pretend to believe her; if I do, I'll (hopefully) sleep a little more soundly.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

It all started to get very, very fuzzy. My world became hazy in all my senses, as if I were drifting off to a foamy, foggy sea of sleep. But that pleasant hazy feeling began to erode away as I felt my body levitate, and a sort of air encircle around me. But it wasn't a normal kind of air. It felt like chakra in large quantities, most likely omitting from more than one person.

A terribly painful heat that was so hot it was cold started to crawl up my flesh from my stomach. It was so coarse that it left my insides raw and bleeding, the pain pouring out my mouth and shock-white eyes. I didn't apprehend that I was yelling, nearly screaming, until I heard it echo off the walls of wherever I was. All the while that pain coursed though me like a nasty poison, sucking me dry.

_So this is what it was like to have the Ichibi demon torn like a still-beating heart from my body…_ I thought bitterly, my thinking patterns contorted and hardly coherent. Pain sure knocks you senseless; but I never knew raw, physical hurt this way, not once in my entire existence.

I suppose now I know.

But, does this mean… I was going to die?

Sad, I never even got to see Uzumaki Naruto again, and he was the true reason for me becoming who I have: the Kazekage, the sane ex-homicide case (as Temari sometimes playfully calls me), the new Gaara. Yet, in this feeling of unceasing, wrenching injury, I feel like it doesn't matter.

Was I ever even special to anyone, let alone someone like him? Maybe he doesn't realize or much remember the people he impacts.

And then what about my remaining family? They might be almost forced to care about me, being flesh and blood, but who knows, it could all be a charade.

Either way, I guess it doesn't matter now. With each tremor of draining pain, Shukaku left me, and so did the remainder of my time to live.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

We hopped through the trees, and with each passing moment I could sense where Gaara was. I sensed his chakra, the same chakra that holds a thread of demon woven in it. But it felt like it was getting faint, but I knew I was getting closer. My stomach felt unsettling, as if I was about to throw up. Good thing I had a small breakfast.

Behind me, Chiyo-baasama started talking to Kakashi. They thought I couldn't hear them, but they forget I have the ears of a kitsune. I didn't slow my pace or try to pick up their words more; if anything, I just happened to hear them. And they were talking about me.

"Why does he care so much about a ninja that isn't even from his Village?" the old woman asked in a grumbling tone. "What loyalty does he even have? What reason?"

Kakashi made a noise, something light in the air I could hardly catch. Maybe I didn't even hear it at all.

"Just… what is he?"

I waited for it. I waited for him to tell her. The copy ninja didn't let me down. "He's also a Jinchuuriki."

I heard a surprised, "Huh?" come from the elder. Part of me wanted to laugh. Must everyone be so shocked when they find out what I am?

"He has the Nine Tails sealed within him. Naruto hardly cares about the sand village itself, really; But Gaara-kun is someone just like him, someone who understands. And in turn, he probably understands your Kazekage better than anyone in your Village. No matter where they are, all Jinchuuriki are treated the same way."

I stopped listening after that; a lump had formed in my throat at the memories. I purposely hopped ever faster to get farther away from the two. I was too determined to stick around to hear them chatting, anyway. I started to feel that fox's power flowing through me, turning my eyes red and my whisker marks longer and deeper, like a cut on my face. I disregarded the feeling, though; all I cared about was reaching my friend in time.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

Suddenly, the pain was gone. Everything turned white before me, blinding me. A hand was in front of my face, the fingers bent at the knuckles. "Who's hand… is this?" I thought. But it echoed, as if I had spoken it; maybe I had. I tried to move the hand, ad when it obeyed, I thought (or said, I'm still not sure), "Huh? It's… my hand?"

There seemed to be a wind blowing softly, and I welcomed it's gentle toss in my hair and across my skin. It felt like my sand armor had disappeared, but in a serene place like this, I felt safe even without it or my gourd.

Again I asked myself, "Did my existence become necessary to anyone?" Like Temari, or Kankurou, or anyone else I've met; even the villagers, since I was their Kazekage. But did it matter? Or was it all… futile?

I curled my hand and looked passed it, into the white oblivion. The lack of pain made my brain function better, and I curiously looked at a figure ahead of me. "Huh? What's that?"

The figure was dressed in red, even their hair. Their eyes were dull and soft, almost dead-looking. And in the weird light, the aquamarine was gray. "That's… me."

_The me someone else's existence needed. Doushite… why did I want to become like that? Why did I desire it so badly?_

"Those eyes… that nose… that mouth… how is that 'Gaara'?" I said to the other me, subtly demanding an answer.

But the answer was right there: I used to be inside of that. I used to be that 'Gaara'. But in one state of consciousness,_ what did it used to be?_

It was just… a small… feeling.

The figure faded away. Slowly, slowly… I slipped into darkness, a sleep I was sure I would never wake from.


	5. The Complications of Death

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

My heart sank. We reached a gorge with water, above us a sealed cave. Gai's team, along with Kakashi and Sakura, were working together to try and break the seal to get inside the cave. I was apprehensive, my fingers fidgeting and scowling teeth grinding together. I felt my heart down in my gut as I on looked the rock covering the cave, because I know, I know Gaara is in there. And from what I can tell, his chakra felt faded and damn near insensible.

It took a little while, but by the time Sakura smashed the rock with her chakra-fueled punch, I was all too eager to go bursting into the cave. And what I found made that throwing-up feeling come straight back. Gaara's body was being used as - as – some sort of couch for a blonde Akatsuki member, whom was smiling devilishly.

"It seems the defense force has arrived, un," he said, standing up. "Looking for this?" he asked, motioning to Gaara.

Pure, deep rage and burning unshed tears filled me. The way he was motionless, Gaara must be really, really hurt. He hardly seemed to be breathing, if he was at all. Automatically, I hated this man, and the masked one behind him. Whoever these guys were, they deserved to **die**.

"You son of a bitch… where the hell do you think you're sitting?!" I scream at him.

"Ah, so that's the other Jinchuuriki; Itachi was right, he'll be the first to yell and charge at you, un."

I wanted to slap the shit out of him.

I stared hard at the redhead at the other side of the cave. My voice came out hard and yelling, as if I was mad at him. "Gaara! How can you be asleep at a time like this, dattebayo?!" Of 'course, he didn't answer me. I ground my teeth, tried again: "Stand up! Gaara!"

I felt Sakura's concerned eyes on me, but who gives a damn right now? Gaara was just laying there, letting someone sit on him like a rock! "Oi, Gaara, are you even listening to me?!" I yelled again, about to shatter my own teeth with the way I was pressing down so hard in frustration. I launched forward, resorting to begging. "S-stop it already…!"

"That's a enough, Naruto!" Kakashi barked. I fell back a step. "You should already know."

I choked on my own spit, the lump back in my throat.

"Right, right. You get it now, don't you?" the bastard sitting on Gaara said. "He's been dead for a while now, un." He slapped the side of Gaara's cheek with the back of his hand, showing the redhead couldn't feel a thing. "Took us three days and three nights, but look what we finally accomplished…"

I was almost blinded by what I felt next. It was raw and full of pain and wrath, and I could feel my hair frizz on end with the amount of chakra that started to form beneath my skin.

"Give him back…" I growled low in my throat, the lump gone. "Give him back you bastards!"

And I charged. But, as fast as lightning, Kakashi blocked me. "Don't be reckless, or we're all dead meat," my sensei told me. I just scowled more. I wanted their blood, dammit! I wanted blood…!

After a moment, I lost all senses. I summoned a shuriken and flung it at them, hardly flinching when it rebounded off the masked one's tail. I started to charge again, but the blonde one stood and did something with a piece of white clay and his right hand. A giant bird came out of nowhere, and in seconds took Gaara in it's beak and swallowed him. The blonde guy hopped onto it's back and began to fly out of the cave; I had no choice but to follow. He can't get away from me, especially not with Gaara!

"Wait, get back here, damn you!" _I'll fucking kill him. He's going to die by my hand for what he's done!_

Kakashi-sensei appeared next to me, but I hardly cared if he backed me up or not. I'll get Gaara back, I will. I _will_…

* * *

Time passed quickly and slowly at the same time. At first, all Deidara did was circle the air, teasing them while he thought up a mode of escape. When he had one, he flew ahead towards the forest, with Naruto and Kakashi jumping on wooden support posts in the gorge behind him. Deidara would sometimes lay a bomb or two, but they didn't effect either Leaf nin.

The whole time he fled, Kakashi was on Deidara's tail, sharingan out of hiding. He knew a new trick, a special jutsu, involving other dimensions. But this was a dangerous technique to use, so while Naruto pursued the blonde Akatsuki member, he tried to time it just right to get some – if not hopefully all – of the man's body into a vortex he was slowly creating.

Naruto seemed to hardly notice it until the man's remaining arm came popping off like a firecracker. He howled and scrunched his eyes into slits, losing altitude. Naruto grinned wickedly. Soon he would land, and they'd have him… and Gaara.

But it took a little while. Along the way he dropped the portion of the bird that held Gaara while the man himself was a little farther ahead. Using a about three shadow clones, Naruto sent them to Gaara while the real one prepared to charge himself at Deidara, wanting to give (and later gave) him a good punch to the face.

Meanwhile, the two clones dug away at the crumbling white clay, trying to reach the body inside. "G-Gaara!" he called, his finger rubbing raw against the rough material, about to bleed; or he would if he wasn't a shadow clone. Finally, he saw the red in the darkness, and with the help of the other clone, Naruto opened a hole wide enough to lift Gaara's body out. "Oi, oi, Gaara…" one clones said, shaking the redhead's shoulder. No response. Eyes shining with worry, the two shadow clones slung Gaara's arms around their shoulders as they went back to join their original.

He couldn't help himself. The cloak of the Kyuubi bubbled up around him, giving him a tail, then two… he lost sight of nearly everything but the need to get rid of the blonde man. Kakashi had to dismiss the cloak before it put everyone in potential danger, but Naruto himself rolled steadily on, not waiting a moment to attack Deidara again.

But when the clones got there, everything exploded; literally. Deidara had a trick up his sleeve: to use his own clay clone as a giant explosion, to fake his death to his enemies and escape as he planned. He didn't care if they had the Shukaku Jinchuuriki's body; what was the point of keeping around a dead thing, unless it was needed to make Master Sasori a puppet? Speaking of which, Deidara wondered what became of his superior. He must've been fighting the pink-haired girl this whole time. How irksome.

With Deidara gone and Sasori dead (Sakura had defeated him, however difficult it was to do), Gai's team watched as the trap they'd been is disappeared. Figuring it was all over, they went to join Kakashi's team.

They found them in a grassy clearing outside the forest near the gorge, where Gaara was laid down gently and Sakura was bent over him, using her medical ninjutsu to inspect his condition. The Akatsuki had been bluffing, right? Gaara wasn't really dead, was he?

After a good 10 minutes, Naruto watched as Sakura's blue chakra dissipated. "Sakura-chan?" he asked her in a soft voice.

She gingerly lifted her finger's from Gaara's chest, a warm, watery knot in her throat. She stood and shook her head sadly, closing her eyes.

Naruto just stared at her.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

_No… no… Sakura, please, don't look at me that way. Don't tell me he's gone. Don't shake your head. Please… tell me you're lying like that armless bastard. Tell me he's alive,_ I pleased with my eyes.

But her greenish ones told no lies. Gaara had passed a long while ago. I looked down at Gaara's almost peaceful face, his lack-of-sleep bruised eyes closed shut and his lips together in a thin line.

There was something about losing him that hurt worse than when Sasuke left. My eyes twitched and threatened to produce tears, but I didn't care. I could cry, who cares? Crying, Iruka once told me, did not show weakness, but actually showed strength for the people you care about. He said the 3rd Hokage hard told him that when he was little, mourning his parents.

Is that what it was right now? Mourning? My lips turned down at the corners at the word, because even that made me more depressed; because when you mourn someone, you accept that they're dead and never coming back.

But Gaara had always been so… untouchable! Unstoppable! Before the Chunnin exams, he said he never wanted his existence to disappear. _But what do you call this, Gaara? Isn't dying making yourself disappear?!_

The tears flowed now, one at a time like slowly drizzling rain. Then there were two at a time, then three, then an endless count. They warmed my face, which I noticed started to feel very cold and washed out. Like Gaara's face right now: placid and empty. **Dead.**

I found a voice, and let it ring out in the clearing. I hardly noticed the way Sakura stared at me. "Why? Why did Gaara have to die like this?" I bawled, not caring if I sounded like a child. He was someone close to me, even if I didn't like him when I met him. It's like Sasuke, but different: he understood me. I stepped forward. "You're the Kazekage, dammit! You just became the Kazekage!" I wasn't angry, just disbelieving.

"Calm yourself, Uzumaki Naruto," Chiyo said to me.

I spun around, furious. "Shut the hell up!"

She saw my crying face, and a look of comprehension came across the wrinkled skin.

I barked, "It's your fault! If you goddamned Sand shinobi hadn't put that… that… bakemono inside of him, his would have never happened; **he'd still be alive**!" I paused, choking on tears. "Do you have any idea what kind of burden he held over him like an anvil waiting to drop? Well, do you?" it was a rhetorical question, but I wanted an answer all the same; because did they know? _Did they?_ I swallowed more tears, trying to speak again. "Damn the Jinchuuriki. You have no right to act like you're above us, to act like you can label and use us…!" I wobbled on my feet, not sure what to do with my body. I realized, the least I could do was stop crying. I held my forearm to my face, using the sleeve of my jacket to wipe at my wet cheeks and eyes.

"I… I couldn't save S-Sasuke… I c-couldn't save G-Gaara…" I choked out, lowly to myself. "I trained s-so hard for three y-years… and… nothing's changed."

It wasn't until I heard Chiyo-baasama walk passed me that I realized she even got up. She fell to her knees in front of Gaara, her strength hardly there. _What the hell was she doing?_ I thought, my tears slowing down.

Her hands went to his chest like Sakura had done, but there was a large burst of chakra like I've never seen used before. Next to me, Sakura gasped as she realized what was being done. "Chiyo-baasama, what jutsu will –"

I turned to stare at her. _Will do what?_ I looked to the elder, and she just turned her head with smiling eyes. 'It's alright, I know what I'm doing'.

"What are you doing, dattebayo?" I called out to her, taking a step forward. Sakura put out her hand to my chest, stopping me. "Sakura-cha–" but the looks he gave me cut me off.

"She's brining Gaara-kun back to life."

My eyes widened, my heart lifting out of the pit it sank into when we first arrive outside of the cave. "Bringing… him back to life? Can she even do that?" _I didn't know such a thing existed._

"This is a unique jutsu only Chiyo-baasama knows how to do; and only one I've heard of in theory from Tsunade-sama."

"Really?" I asked, hopeful.

She didn't reply, so I just turned my attention back to the elder of the Sand. She kept making grunting noises, and her chakra seemed to waver. Without thinking, I walked over to her. I hardly knew what she was doing, but even I could tell it had to do with using high amounts of chakra; and who better to take chakra from than me? I mean, with Kyuubi, I had a shitload.

"Chikushou! I don't have enough…" she murmured. I kneeled at the other side of my friend's body, holding out my hands. She slowly looked up at me, flabbergasted.

"Please… use my chakra!" At a closer distance, I could see Gaara's lips parted slightly, the way someone's jaw does as it relaxes in death. I shuddered, turning to look back at the old woman. "You can do it then, right, baa-chan?"

She seemed to think about it for a moment before saying, "Place your hands on top of mine."

I'll admit, I didn't think she'd let me; it's another demon she was dealing with, and thanks to Kakashi she knows it. But still she was saying yes, and I was a little surprised. But I obeyed right away, nodding my head and pumping my chakra into her hands. It was almost painful, a little hard to do, and I grunt lowly in the back of my throat. But I can handle it; what kind of small pain is this compared to what Gaara had felt?

Suddenly, Chiyo says to me, "I'm glad someone like you appeared in the shinobi world we foolish old people have created."

I look at her, open-mouthed. Just what did she mean, "someone like me"…? What have I done that's so great? Aren't I a Jinchuuriki, too? A… monster?

"Everything I've ever done was a mistake. But now, in the end, it seems like I'll finally be able to do something right."

I still didn't know what she meant, really; but I nodded nonetheless.

"Suna, and Konoha… their futures will be much different than the way things were back in my day. That strange power of yours Kakashi mentioned… That power will have a strong influence on the future."

_What… special power?_

"Listen to me," she said faintly. "Become a Hokage like none before you."

I wanted to smile, even hug her, but I felt frozen in place.

"And Sakura…?"

"Hai," she said sadly.

"Next time, try and save the people who are closest to you, not some old hag like me. You and I are a lot alike; there aren't many girls as chivalrous as you around anymore. You'll definitely pass your teacher as a female ninja."

Sakura, I noticed, was crying without the sobs. But why? Why was Chiyo saying this? They were almost like dying words.…

"And Naruto? Here's a request from an old woman: you are the only one who can understand Gaara's pain, and he understands yours; so, please… save Gaara."

I got what she meant that time. I looked to him, his face scuffed up a little bit, his features soft and blank, and being connected the way I was to him – my chakra fueling his body along with baa-chan's, both of us having similar childhoods – and I called out to him, crawling inside my mind to fetch him. _Come back to us, Gaara._


	6. Good Evening Revival

It was nearly colorless, like a worn old photograph. There was a line of all of Naruto's precious people from Konoha, all of them younger, too young to be ninjas yet. Just children, maybe 7 years old. Everyone was there. Naruto was in the middle of them, right in front of the 3rd Hokage. He looked up, passed his, Kakashi's, Jiraiya's and Iruka's bodies. Naruto heard crying down the hill, far behind their happy line.

He pushed, knocking arms and stomachs out of the way with his chubby little hands. He stared running through the grass, down the hill, to a sandy place. A boy was hunched there, his figure crying and small, red hair topping his head. Naruto stumbled and tripped, nearly falling, but got running again, aiming for that other kid just his size and age.

Gaara, he thought, not knowing how he knew this boy's name, having never before met him. _Was he even from this Village?_ he wondered. But it hardly mattered. The boy was all alone… he shouldn't be alone, or crying. _I know what feeling._

He saw a butterfly just above his head, and he called out to the crying boy right before he reached him. "GAARA!"

_'Who...'_ Gaara wondered, looking at his hand once again. _'Who's he… calling to? And this… who's hand is it? Mine again? It is…'_ he looks passed his hand, seeing a little boy with red hair hunched over in the sand, crying, yelling, pleading. _'I… who am I? I…I'm…'_ Not alone anymore.

The little red-haired boy's should is tapped, touched, by another. Gaara felt it too, and suddenly the child – he – is looking at another child, no, another teen. "Naruto…" he says slowly, his eyes widening, the clear, pale color of his blue-green eyes getting their full life back in them.

"Gaara," Naruto smiles. "Welcome back, Gaara."

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I turn, slowly, unsurely. How am I still alive? Maybe… maybe I did die, and this is heaven. I turn, look, and see nearly half the population of Sunagakure before me, all around me. I feel Uzumaki Naruto's hand in my back, propping me up, I see people I recognize everywhere, relief spreading across every face like a spray of ocean mist. "They're…"

"They all came to save you," the blonde beside me tells me, my eyes still wide. _They cared? They cared enough to come, all of them? _

My heart turns in a full circle in my chest, and I can't distinguish the feeling. Just what is this feeling? It feels good, if not a little strange.

"Gaara-sama!" Matsuri, an old pupil of mine – the only one who was willing to learn under me before I became Kazekage – came sprinting forward. "Are you all right?!"

Shocked by her concern, I just nod.

She smiles, a flush rising to her face. "Yatta!"

There are cheers, and I wonder why they're cheering. _Is it for me? Because I'm alive? But why do they… And Naruto, why is he…_ My head is reeling, and I can't seem to think. I really was dead, but something happened, and I'm back. But I feel like something's missing. Shukaku… I can't feel his presence anymore.

I push myself up, leaning back on my hands. Naruto stares, smiling out of his wits, and so is everyone else. I keep what feels like a shocked expression, but I hardly notice. Just… why is this happening? It's so… **different** than what I'm used to.

"You caused a big ruckus, you know," Naruto says to me.

Kankurou walks out to us, wearing his old clothes, hands on his hips. "I'll say! You had me worried, little bro."

"Who do you think you are?" Temari says, and I realize she's kneeling next to Naruto to my left. "Gaara is the Kazekage! Humph. Show some respect, you lowlifes." She pushed Naruto aside, getting her face right in front of mine. "Gaara, are you okay? Be honest, now!"

_I'll prove it to you,_ I think. _I'll stand up._ But I find that to be a difficulty… hands clutching my knees, I force myself up.

"You shouldn't start moving yet," my sister tells me. But I refuse to give up; I can stand just fine. If I'm alive again, my body should be fine enough to stand. "Your body is still very stiff."

I sigh slightly, leaning back again. Fine, Temari, you win. I'll sit back down. It hurt, anyway, and I'm not accustomed to stinging jolts in my body.

Suddenly I hear squealing, and two girls (one, I noticed, was Matsuri) come running to me, knocking Naruto to the ground a meter away. _Don't do that to him; you owe him for saving my life,_ I want to tell them.

Across the way, I hear Kankurou talking to Naruto about something. I caught my name, and my ears perk. They were saying something about one of the elders, Chiyo. Something about a life-transferring technique to save me…

Wait, she did what? But why? She hates me like all the other older people in the village, doesn't she?

"Elder Chiyo is dead," Kankurou says flatly, and I can see the kitsune's face turn almost hollow with shock, like mine had moments ago. But this was a different sort of shock.

Dusk started to fall, the sky growing dark. There were words spoken about Chiyo, but I couldn't remember them as soon as they passed my ears. But I heard Temari say something.

"You sure are weird, Naruto," she told him, glancing over. "You have the gift to change people."

I got that all too well; after all, I was one of those 'people'. Suddenly I felt tired, which was not an irregular feeling, but I understood something: I could sleep now. Shukaku was gone. I sat there in the grass, my eyes growing heavy. How I wished to sleep. But there was something I have to do first…

I started to stand again, and Matsuri gasped. "Gaara-sama!" she said, trying to help lift me up. I nudged her away with force; I don't need her help. I can do this, it's not so hard... but as I was moving up, my muscles lost their strength and I felt myself lean forward, about to fall. But a hand caught my arm, and I turned to see who's it was.

Naruto's, of 'course. He seemed to always be there, waiting to catch me, even if I'm beating him into a bloody pulp like all those years ago.

I allowed him to help me stand, because even if I wanted to do it myself, part of me couldn't resist it. Perhaps it was because I was so tired. After I had stood, his hand slipped down my arm and let go; why did he let go? I could need to hold his hand for support.

Standing next to him after so long of not seeing him at all, I realized we were both much taller; although he looked a hint taller than I was, even with my messy spikes. I wanted to smile at the irony, since I think I was a few months older than he was. But now was not the time for that; I had to do that one last thing. "Minna… pray for Chiyo-baasama."

And with that I closed my eyes, bowed my head, and after a quick prayer fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

When they came back to Suna, everyone who had not been in the meadow was waiting outside the gates or in the streets for their Kazekage's arrival. Naruto and Kankurou held Gaara between them, but it seemed like Gaara was leaning more towards the blonde's side. _Whatever,_ Naruto shrugged, _he's just tired. He'll be fine once we lay him down._

The Konoha shinobi were allowed to stay two nights to rest and ready themselves, and the next day pay their respects to the small tombstone memorial made for the elder, Chiyo. On that day, Sakura had lingered by the stone made of sand, a happy but remorseful look on her face. "Come on, Sakura-chan; it's time to go."

But on that day they were supposed to leave, Naruto hung back outside the gates, facing Gaara.

"Ja ne."

"Yeah…"

Others said while Naruto looked into Gaara's eyes, unsure what to say. So, being the guy he was, he said the first thing that came to mind. "I guess this is where we're supposed to shake hands and say good bye…" he said, looking down. He turned his head, his face flushing as he scratched his cheek. "But I suck at that kind of stuff, so…"

When he looked up again, Gaara was holding out a pale hand, a hardly visible smile on his lips. Naruto stared at it, as if he never shook hands before. The truth was, he just never expected Gaara to be so… open-hearted about it. He blinked, and still did nothing.

A small wind picked up, carrying with it a stream of sand that swirled around Naruto's hand and started to pull it towards the ex-Jinchuuriki's. he wasn't sure if this was Gaara's sand or just coincidence, but either way he smiled lightly and let his hand be guided.

When they touched, it felt like a sharp electrical spark shot up Naruto's arm. Astonishment flickered in Gaara's eyes, and Naruto bet himself the redhead felt that same jolt. Softly, Gaara muttered, "I wish you could visit longer."

After a shake or two, Naruto let go, looking down. "I kind of do, too… it feels like I re-met you." _Since you're so different now. _

"Then why can't you stay?" Gaara asked in that same low voice, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear him.

Naruto blinked and looked up, a hand going behind his head. "I dunno… I just think Tsunade-baachan would be a little pissed at me, is all."

At the sound of the 'kage's name, Sakura (who had been walking away at a slower pace than the others) turned around and walked back over to Naruto. "Hn? What about her?"

"Oh! Sakura-chan," the blonde says, startled. "It's nothing. Just… I kind of want to stay a little longer, you know? Make sure Gaara really is okay and everything," he told her. "But I bet the old hag would be pissed at me if I did."

The pink-haired girl smiled. "Is that all? Then stay' I'll tell Tsunade-sama that you stayed a little longer on business, making sure the Kazekage was fine enough on his own." She winked then, her hand patting his shoulder.

He smiled, almost laughing. "You're the best, Sakura-chan!"

"And don't you forget it," she said with false scorn. She gave Gaara a look, saying, 'I hope you appreciate it'. He nods, as if to reply, 'I do; arigato'.

"Just promise me you'll be back in Konoha by next week," Sakura hinted, "Or else we'll all miss you too much, Naruto!"

He chuckles. "Sure thing, Sakura-chan."


	7. How To Live Life

**A/N: konnichiwa, minna! Dreaming here. this is in the fic where things get off-shippuuden and into my own plot thingy. this chapter, i'm sorry, is just one giant ball of fluff. -feels retarded- i just got carried away, totally into writing the fluffiness. IT NEEDS MORE ANGST. D:**

**-plays Hawthorne Heights music and writes more problems and less mushy crap-**

* * *

"Oi, Gaara… Is paperwork all you do all day?" Naruto said, a little bored, in the Kazekage's office.

The reply came a little quieter than the kitsune thought possible by anyone besides his friend (although he knows Gaara was much louder when he was a blood-thirsty 12-year-old). "If you're bored, you can go out and explore the city."

Naruto makes a face. "But I'll get lost…"

The redhead almost wants to crack a smile. He doesn't, and says instead, "The Kazekage Tower isn't that hard to lose sight of; you'll be fine."

His finger scratching his ear, Naruto replies dully, "Yeah, I guess. But what there to do in Suna? It's hotter than hell with the way the sun's blaring."

Gaara sighs through his nose. "We have air conditioned indoor training grounds. Get Temari and have her take you. It won't be hard to find someone there to spar with."

"Why not you? Can't someone else do all that paperwork shit?" the blonde whines, wanting to spend time with his friend. "I mean, you just died and came back, Gaara! You should be living a little bit before going back to all that work."

"I have a responsibility and a duty to my people. Besides, none of them knew about my death; they all think I fought boldly and won, but merely very tired from the battle. So where, in your logic, do I get a day off?" Gaara has never said so much so calmly in his life. He's said a lot before, only in a much different context.

"Demo…" Naruto starts. "Demo…"

"I don't understand; I've giving you plenty of answers. What more do you want?"

The other teen pouted. "I want you to come with me, do stuff with me! Hang out, you know?"

It was Gaara's turn to protest. "Demo…"

Already the orange-and-black clad ninja was out of his chair and yanking on Gaara's robes. "Come on, Gaara, just for today; pleeeease?"

Stuttering nonsense noises, the redhead was pulled from his chair and hauled towards the door. Kankurou, ironically, was right outside the door when Naruto pulled it open. The brunette had a confused look on his face. "Eh? What's going on here?"

"Oi, Kankurou, could you take over for Gaara? He has a life to live," he grinned, dragging his friend.

Kankurou looked to Gaara, whom at the moment was trying to loosen Naruto's grip on his clothing. Feeling his older brother's eyes on him, he looked up. "Seems like I have no say in the matter, Kankurou. Could you take over for today?"

"Uh… sure, I guess," the purple-painted man replies, frowning slightly.

"Arigato!" Naruto sang to him as he dashed down the hall, Gaara in tow.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

"To tell you the truth, Gaara, I thought my little plan wouldn't work. I thought you'd get all mad at me or something." He laughs, his hands behind his head in the dirt streets of my Village.

Deciding to dress for the humid weather, Naruto's jacket was tied around his waist and I had stuck with a simple white outfit besides my Kazekage robes, thinking it too hot for black. But I could tell just by looking at him, Naruto wished he would have brought lighter-colored clothing, since his black tee was making him sweat.

I made a small shrug. "I can't believe I let you, really." After a moment or two, I told him, "You look hot."

For some reason, his face looked stricken, as if I had said something wrong. "W-what did you say?"

"Nothing; I said that you look hot. We have an ice shop. Want something from there?" Personally, I only remember going once with Yashamaru on a hot day when I was a child. He had ordered lemon shaved ice for me and a vanilla ice cream cone for himself. Those were one of my few pleasant childhood memories, come to think of it…

After he heard that, his face calmed. "Oh. I thought you meant… never mind. But yeah, that sounds good." He adds, "Damn, I should have packed better. I could use something cooler to wear right about now!"

A ghost of a smile reached my lips. "You'll be cool soon enough. I'm just sorry we don't have ponds or lakes like Konoha does."

"What about one of those oasis-things?" he asks as we round a corner, nearing the shop.

I waved that away. "There isn't much of one for miles. We technically live in an oasis, but it's underground, which is where we get out water from."

"Hmm, you don't say…" he replies sluggishly. I guess he isn't used to heat like this.

I felt somehow chatty around him, when normally it's the other way around. "You know, when it's this humid, we expect rain."

"Rain?" he says hopefully, a spark in his eyes. "Kami, I wish it would rain right now! I'm dying!"

"We're nearly there," I tell him. "See? It's that building right there." I point to a sandstone-made shop with a dark teal blue tarp above it to give it shade. The tarp, I noticed, still hadn't been dusted after the light sandstorm we had the day of the Akatsuki's arrival. A tiny shiver ran down my spine as I remembered the raw pain of having my demon sucked from me.

Suddenly I saw a blur of black, orange and yellow jog ahead of me towards the ice shop. His disappeared under the canopy of the tarp, slumping over the counted to order something. When I reached him, he was being handed a lemon shaved ice, and inside I chuckled at the irony.

"Gaara, what do you want?"

At the sound of my name, the shop keeper looked up from a child he'd been handing a chocolate ice cream cone to. "K-Kazekage-s-sama?! Oh, how wonderful to have you at my tiny shop! Please, order whatever you like!"

"I'll just have what he ordered," I say nonchalantly, pointing to Naruto's treat.

"Of 'course, Kazekage-sama! And yours will be on the house, of 'course…"_ He says 'of 'course' too much,_ I noted.

With my cold treat in hand I sat across a small table from Naruto under the teal canopy. He grinned at me, nodded to my choice. "I didn't know you liked these, too; you seem like the boring kind of guy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, scooping up a mouthful and letting the cool, tart-sweet liquid run down my throat.

"I mean," he says between bites, "That I thought you wouldn't order anything at all. That all you eat is boring stuff."

I shake my spoon at him. "I used to eat this exact thing as a child, I'll have you know."

"Really? Me too! Lemon was always my favorite; it was tangy but sweet and always made my cheeks pucker after eating too much."

I smile a little with my eyes, taking another bite. "Problem is: it melts fast."

Naruto snorts. "Only here it does."

Curiously, I asked him, "Who used to take you to your ice shop?"

He smiled faintly at a memory. "Iruka-sensei. He was probably the only adult that would even go near me, really. He would take me to all kinds of places, like a father would: to the ramen shop, the ice cream shop, the lake near the Uchiha clan… even a festival the Hyuugas' held once when I was nine."

I nodded, bringing the cup to my mouth and sipping down some of the melted shaved ice at the bottom. "My uncle, Yashamaru, would sometimes do that. But it never lasted long; besides, I later found out how much he hated me…"

Naruto spit out his shaved ice. "What?! Hated you? Why? But he's your own family!"

"My father hated me, too, Naruto. I'm used to it."

"B-but… like… that's so mean…"

"It's in the past now," I tell him, picking up a napkin to wipe the mess he made on the small wooden table.

He looked down at my hand, frowning slightly. "Here, let me do that."

Briefly his hand brushed my arm and knuckles before I let go of the napkin. The contact, so much different than the formal handshake from yesterday, made my face flush. I didn't like the heat on my face, and to compensate for it, I lifted the paper cup with the ice in it to my cheek, the heat disappearing. Naruto didn't notice, since he was so intent on making the wood less sticky.

After he looked semi-satisfied with the state of cleanliness of the wooden surface, he picked up and slurped his quickly melting lemon ice. I took the last bite of my own before crumpling the paper cup and throwing in the direction of a garbage can. "Nice shot!"

I looked over at him. "It's nothing. I was always a good aim."

Naruto seemed to maul that over. "Hmm, well, I guess you'd have to be… you know, to get your sand where you want it… Speaking of which, I've wanted to ask you something…"

"Nn?" I hum, interested in what he has to ask. _You can ask me anything,_ I want to tell him. _Anytime._

"When we shook hands when I was about to leave… were you doing that? With the sand to my hand?" He stood then, tossing his trash to the ground carelessly. _Sure, he cleans up his spilled mess, but then he litters._

I thought of his question for a moment. "It… was, but I didn't do it on purpose."

"Eh?" he says, confused. "How can you not do it on purpose? It's your sand!"

I shrugged, walking down the streets towards no destination in particular. "I don't know; I only wanted…"

He glanced over at me, as if I was supposed to finish. But I didn't want to, and for some reason I don't think the words would come if I** did** want to.

"What d'ya mean, you don't know? Don't know your own jutsus, Gaara?" he asks rhetorically, chuckling. He pauses in his steps, inquiring, "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Nowhere," I say. I hear him coming up behind me, and I slow my pace.

"Oi, isn't that where we are right now?" he jokes, meaning the desert. I crack a smile, and he makes a noise; something between a squeak and something else. "Gaara! That's the first toothy smile (that wasn't creepy) I've ever seen on you!"

I wipe my face of it. "What? Am I not allowed to smile?"

"Iiya, iiya, it's just… hmm. How to put this?" he ponders, dabbing sweat from the sides of his jaw. "It's just so weird seeing you this way, since you used to be some crazy killer or a solid stone of nothing. It's kind of funny, you remind me of Sasuke…" he mutters to me.

Even I could tell the Uchiha was a sore spot to him. I've fought the raven-haired guy, although I was never his friend; but Naruto was. And vaguely I know about Konoha's situation with him: something about him abandoning them for more power. He went to that Orochimaru, someone vile I haven't really met, but hate for Naruto's sake. Trying to make him feel better, I test a joke. "But I bet I smile more than the Uchiha, ne?"

It worked, luckily. He laughed, but it sounded a little hallow and didn't quite reach his eyes. "Un. Lately you've been smiling a hell of a lot more than him."

Part of me wanted to pry, to see just what about the Uchiha and I was so similar, what made him one of Naruto's precious people when he was obviously not very kind to much of anyone. But the other part of me won, the part that wanted to stay silent and wait for Naruto to bring that up; really, I guess, I just wanted him to trust me enough to tell me himself with my asking.

"How can anyone stand to live out here?" he says after a long while. "It's freezing at night but hot all day. I don't think I could stand it."

"That's what every outsider says," I inform him. "They're so used to their own climate that ours feels foreign to them. But I could say the same about Konoha; how can you stand to have it get so cloudy or so rainy?"

"It's not always like that," he tells me, defending his home.

I nod. "I know. I've been there more than once and know it can get almost as hot as here. Still, I like the clear blue skies. Clouds just get in the way."_ I love the color of the sky, so rich and blue like that. It's… beautiful. Clouds would just block it's beauty. Besides, it reminds me of cool water or the color of your eyes. _Wait, his eyes? Since when does his eye color matter to me? I'll admit, they're unusual compared to most anyone I've met, but…

"They give you shade!" he offers, his hand a flat plank above his brow to shield his eyes. "Damn, can we get out of the sun now?"

"Sure," I say as I rounded another corner. "But where to?"

"Anywhere air conditioned!"

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

Temari-san cooked dinner. How they got fish out here in the desert, I have no idea; but it tasted pretty good, and she even made stir-fried vegetables. I hardly wanted to touch them; I don't like veggies much. But Temari gave me a threatening look, so I shoved some in my mouth. It wasn't so bad; she used a lot of teriyaki, so I hardly tasted the nasty greens. Gaara made cold tea, which I guess is all they drink in the desert during the day since it's so hot. There were some rice balls Gaara helped make, and even though I hardly have any with dinner they tasted pretty good. There was something in them, something kind of spicy but sweet; I liked it.

I thanked Temari for dinner, and she told me she would be offended if I didn't stay the night here. I'd been mostly in the hotel nearby when I was with my team and for last night, but I guess because I ate dinner Temari seems to think I'm supposed to spend the night, too. It was weird, because as soon as she suggested it, Gaara went a funny color for a moment before excusing himself from the table. Kankurou gave him a look before nodding down the hall at the guest bedroom.

Man this place was big. It's the Kazekage's mansion in the upper parts of the tower near the main office. It was like an entire house – kitchen, bathrooms and all – for the 'kage's family. But Gaara only had Temari and Kankurou left, so there was plenty of room around for just about anyone; in this case, me.

I hauled my small backpack of stuff to my room, which I noticed had a bathroom right next to it in the hallway. Gaara's bedroom door (at the very end of the hall, the biggest room of all) was shut, and I thought I heard mumbling. Either I was imagining it, or Gaara was talking to himself.

A sneaky grin coming to my lips, I lifted my ear to the door. At first there were just soft noises, like whispers, but the occasional word slipped out loud enough to recognize. I pulled back quickly when I heard my name, though. Was Gaara mad at me for staying at his house? I mean, he's the one who asked me to stay a little longer in Suna –

The door opened suddenly, and Gaara's eyes widened for a moment before his face softened into nothing. "Naruto," he says lowly.

"Um…" I sputter, slipping my hands behind my head. "What's up? You left in a hurry after dinner."

He looks off to the side. "Does Temari need help cleaning up?"

"I dunno," I reply, because his question didn't trick me. He was avoiding the subject. Maybe he didn't want me in his house after all, but didn't go against his sister's decision. After all, she's pretty intimidating. Not to mention older than any of us here (although Kankurou, to me, looks older).

"I'll go check," he tells me, walking past.

I frown at his back, thinking: _What's his problem?_


	8. Trying To Find A Sense Of Meaning

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

She just had to go and invite him into our home, didn't she? Dinner, fine, I don't mind that as much. I can handle eating with him. But… he's confusing me lately. Not with anything he says or does, but inside he's confusing me with what he means to me.

I've never really had friends before. It was a sort of triumph and relief what he became my friend. But Uzumaki Naruto is not just anyone, not just any sort of friend. **He changed** **me.** And for everyone who's concerned, he changed me **for the better.**

I know there's a small bond between us, a thin one different from just being 'friends'. We're alike people, having the same pasts and pains, but under slightly different conditions. I understand that much of what he means to me: someone who understands.

But there are other things getting in the way, confusing me. He'll smile a genuine smile, and it makes me want to return it. He's tell a joke and I'll feel like laughing, something I hardly ever do. And… once or twice… he's barely touch me, yet I feel something strange happen to my face: I'll flush and heat up, most likely turning my cheeks a pinkish color. Who ever heard of that from someone like me?

But… just what is that 'me' anymore? I hardly know. It seems I act differently around who I'm with. I wonder which of those 'me's is the right one, the real one. I used to think the murderous, existence-creating one was right; but Naruto proved me wrong on that note. So… who is 'Gaara' now? The one that's with Naruto seems strange. The one that works all day in the Kazekage office seems restricted. The one around Temari and Kankurou seems smaller, but happy. And the one around the people of Suna seems unsure but willing to make up for everything.

Just which 'Gaara' am I, then? None of them feel quite correct. Perhaps if I merge a few together…

Unless it's normal to act differently around different people?

That might make sense. I mean, it all depends on how you feel towards different people that you react differently to them, right? So if I care for Temari and Kankurou like my siblings, then I feel like the youngest (which I am) and happy (because, finally, they aren't afraid of me anymore). And if I keep going on that, it'll show my responsibilities and fears of being rejected once again, and so on.

So… where does that place Naruto? My friend? Best friend? Brother from another mother? – That last one sounds funny even to me, but the meaning is still the same. And so is the question: _what does he mean to me?_

All I can clarify for right now is how slightly uncomfortable I am with him being just a room away from me at the moment. Which was after sundown, around 9:30 at night. I had been sleeping fine (for once in my life) these passed two days; right now, though, I was pacing the length of my bedroom, occasionally stealing a glance at the moon. It was but a sliver tonight, yet it still shone brightly in the dark navy sky, the many stars of the night dotting the space around the sliver of white.

I gently bit down on my bottom lip, just off to the side of my mouth. Ever since I could remember, I would bite my lip when I was nervous; but I haven't done it in years. Another habit I had when I was younger was clutching my shirt above my heart, trying to reach through the ribs and the flesh to squeeze out the pain. I haven't done that in so long, as well. But now, it seems, I had no reason to.

Wait, how can I have no reason to? Wasn't that pain never supposed to go away until I had someone love me? Hmm, maybe it's because of my siblings. I could almost say they love me now. Well, I can say that Temari does. After I had explained to her what had happened to me after I was kidnapped, her dark teal eyes began to water and she cried, her fingers holing my arm for support. _"Gaara, oh God…I-I had thought you would never die… oh God…"_ she had wept, mumbling to me.

Kankurou was there to hear the whole story, or what I could remember of it. He had stood, frozen, his face hard as stone but flecked with worry and pain. Temari hugged me then, something I don't think she's ever done with much of any substance. But it was a clinging hug, the kind you give to your father or mother, telling them not to go off to battle, to not _die_.

I looked down at her. _"Temari, what's wrong with you?"_ I had asked that night, the first since I've been home.

_"Don't be reckless again, you hear me? 'Kage or not, you're my brother, Gaara! We've lost everyone else but each other… If I lose you, or Kankurou, I don't know what I'd do. And I nearly lost him, like I told you earlier about Sasori-sama. Gaara, what would've happened if you both died? I'd be alone, so very alone…"_

She had just kept rambling, crying, shaking while she held me. Temari had always been so strong, so to see her cry like that frightened me. I hadn't noticed, but at one point Kankurou had come to sit on the couch beside us, petting Temari's hair.

It was then, I realized, that there is at least someone who loves me. It's a family sort of love, not the kind Kankurou talks about, which is 'romantic'. But to me, it was still love, and that's all that ever mattered.

Which brought me back to now, passed 10:00 at night, with my legs still pacing the wooden floor over a very sandy building. Subtly, I could hear soft snored coming from Naruto's room, and deeper, louder one's from Kankurou's down the hall. There was a knock at my door, making me jump. "Hai?" I asked.

Temari appeared, donned in a robe and pajamas. A cup of tea was in her hands. "I heard you up," she says, coming in. "I thought you might need help getting to sleep, so I brought you some non-caffeinated jasmine tea."

In the darkness I gave a short, light smile. "Arigato," I told her, taking the offering.

She sat down at the chair I had near the window. "Shukaku is gone, now; so why aren't you sleeping? A 'kage needs his sleep," she says in a slightly scolding tone.

"I was thinking," I say in my defense. It sounded silly.

"What about?" she asks, crossing her legs in the chair at the knees.

I hesitate, unsure what to tell her. Instead, I ask a question: "Why did you ask Uzumaki to stay the night?"

She looks surprised for a second, probably wondering where that came from. I sip my tea to avoid her eyes. It tasted good, if not a little sweeter than I like.

"I thought you'd want him to," she says honestly. "Besides, his hotel bill was running high; he only brought enough money for a few nights, I bet. I thought we could just let him stay here for the last few days he's in Sunakagure."

I sigh, sipping more tea. It warmed my body, and I said slowly, "I suppose that's reason enough. But… why'd you think I'd want him to stay?"

She grins wickedly in the way she does, which is one of the only other ways besides 'cocky', 'real' and 'forced' (which she hardly seems to use anymore). "I don't know, you just come off as happier with him around. I thought he'd be good for you."

"Hasn't he been 'good' enough?" I murmur as I set my drink on the nightstand and plop my weight down on the bed. "He got me his far, didn't he?" I add to back up my meaning.

"True," Temari says slowly. She stands, coming to sit on the side of the bed by my knees. "He's motivated you to be a kinder person, the 5th Kazekage, and helped you to live again with Chiyo-baasama's help. But maybe he can do more," she says, the wicked smirk returning.

"Like what?" I ask, closing my eyes. That tea must be working; I drank nearly half of it.

"Like maybe… he can help you feel again."

My eyes pop open and I sit up. "What is that supposed to mean?" I demand from her.

She laughs quietly to herself in that 'I-know-something-you-don't' way that everyone hates, including me. "I guess I shouldn't explain that one if I want to live to see the sunrise," she teases. "Good night, Gaa-nii."

I frown at the cutesy 'little brother' nickname, since she hardly ever uses it. "I shouldn't let you live for calling me that," I retort, and she just laughs again.

"Finish your tea and go to sleep," she says with her back to me. She stands in the doorway, glances over at Naruto's room, then whispers to herself, "I hope you can help him feel again, Uzumaki Naruto."

She thought I couldn't hear her, but I could. And I scowl at her sneaky ways before gulping down the remainder of my tea and lying back down to bed. Sleep came easily then, but nothing but charcoal dreams of nothing at all kept me occupied.

* * *

Despite the slightly chilly draft coming from the cracks in his window, Naruto slept quite soundly; less restless than the other nights he's been in Suna. He stretched and yawned as the sun crept across the sky, and vaguely Naruto checked the time on the clock beside his guest bed._ 8:30, eh? Not too shabby._ He grinned to himself.

When he walked out of his open doorway, he headed for the kitchen. He wanted ramen._ I wonder if they have an instant stuff in the cupboards._ He thought groggily.

"Do you always sleep so late?" Kankurou asks the blonde as he walks into the kitchen.

"It's not late," Naruto remarked to the older guy, whom was reading a paper and sipping some coffee.

"It's late for us; we're used to Gaara's clock now," Kankurou gripes, raising his mug to his lips.

Temari nods, yawning by the coffeemaker. "He's already working, probably meeting up with some jounnin right about now to send on a mission."

Naruto grumbled something about only being a gennin still, and Kankurou sighed. He set down the newspaper and slugged the last of his coffee before standing and declaring that he had things to do, people to see, and blah blah blah.

"I'm heading out, too, Naruto. Help yourself to whatever you want to eat, okay?" Temari says, taking the coffee she had been pouring into her hands and heading for the door.

"Sure, okay," he replies as she shuts the door. The kitsune peered into the cupboards, grateful when he found three foam cups of instant ramen left. He grabbed two, poured water into the crimson-colored kettle, then waited for it to boil.

"It's veggie-chicken," he muttered to himself, reading the label. "Bleh, veggies."

But still he poured the hot water into the cups, later sloshing them together into one big bowl. With a pair of chopsticks his thought a quick, 'itadakimasu', and tucked into the savory taste.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

_Today I gotta see what was up with Gaara last night,_ I told myself. That guy always gets me with the way he acts. He's so unpredictable. Sure, he was a little more unpredictable when he was younger, but we all were. That's how you are when you're young, I guess. But he's freaking 15 now, so shouldn't he be more consistent?

I know I'm predictable, for the most part. Not in battle, but in personality. You always know what to expect from me, right? I think so. But as for Gaara… you could count on one hand the time you knew how he was going to react next. I may be spontaneous, but I'm not unpredictable. So I guess that proves how structured and fickle my friend is. Wait a second, those two aspects contradict, don't they? Ah!! Do you see?! This is how he confuses me all the time!

Ruffling my hair out of frustration, I stood up and took care of my dishes before deciding to shower. After I was dressed and ready, I frowned to myself. _What to do now?_

Part of me suggested cornering Gaara in his office and demanding why he acted so weird after dinner last night. Little stuff like that really bugs me; it's like: can't you just tell me what's wrong here?

Another part of me suggested getting a workout from those indoor training grounds Gaara talked about. Both ideas were so good, so in the end I chose both. I'll bug Gaara, and then I'll go train. Either way I get to let off some steam.

I opened the door up at the top of the building that was the Kazekage's main office, briefly thinking about Tsunade's own Hokage one. I peeked through the crack, and Gaara was exactly where I thought he would be. He was shuffling through some books on a shelf. I took no time in walking up behind him, setting a grin on my lips. "What's up, Gaara?"

He turned around slowly, a green-covered book in his hands. I couldn't catch the label, but I bet it was something boring. He glanced at me before going to sit down at his desk, flipping through the book for something. I frowned exasperatedly. Flatly, I asked, "Why are you ignoring me, 'ttebayo?"

He sighed curtly between thin lips, closing the book up. "Because I have work to do, and you're disturbing me."

"Oh really?" I ask, slumping down into an armchair against one wall of the room. "Then why ask me to stay a few extra days if you knew you had so much work to do?" I got him there.

He looks up and folds his hands to place his chin on top of them. "I'm not entirely sure why," he says calmly, but I catch a hint of a frown in his voice, despite his relaxed brows (the muscles of them, at least; I still wonder over how he got to have no eyebrow hair).

My face falls. "Now you're just screwing with me."

He shakes his head, but I can barely tell he did. "I am not. I honestly don't know what possessed me. A better question would be why you stayed."

I had nothing witty to reply with there. So, straightening up and putting on an accusing finger, I say, "No, how about if you tell me why you acted so weird last night to me. Hardly a warm welcome into your home," I huff, crossing my arms.

The redhead just falls silent. Then, "I haven't decided that yet."

"Eh?" I ask, confused.

He straightens some papers, trying to avoid my eyes. "I was puzzled by my reaction as well. I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way," he adds, barely looking at me.

"And how was I supposed to take it?" I snap, but it doesn't sound as mean as it does curious.

"I don't know," he says again.

I sigh, long as low. "Jeez, Gaara, you sure are full of nothing today. You keep saying, 'I don't know' or 'I'm not sure'. Normally **I'm** the ignorant one!"

His face goes a little pink, and I have no idea why. What the hell is that guy thinking? Whenever I'm around him, I swear that's always a question in the back of my mind. The way he hides his emotions, like Sasuke, makes it so hard for me to guess what's in his head. But then he goes and shows an emotion, but it's the kind I can't guess. Like blushing.

"It's hard to explain…" Gaara starts, pursing his lips while he thought.

"Was it something I did or said? That usually makes people act weird towards me," I shrug, leaning back in the armchair.

"Well, yes… but no. I mean, it feels a little strange to know you helped save my existence with your own life force, you own chakra, but act so casual about it. And it's never anything you say, but more of how I react when you say it. It confuses me, what I feel," he murmurs, and I wonder if Gaara's ever admitted anything like this to anyone before. I bet not.

He looks over at me, as if waiting for me to explode. When I don't, he looks down quickly at that book he pulled out. He bites his lower lip in the tiniest way, which for some reason makes me smile.

"Naruto…"

"Hai?" I ask, smile fading.

"Can I ask you something… personal?"

I'm a little taken aback, surprised. Shrugging, I nod. "Sure. Anything, so long as it isn't too embarrassing."

He bites his lip again, the only sign of emotion on his face besides the flicker in his eyes I don't recognize. "What does each of your comrades mean to you?"

I frown slightly, thinking. "That's a good question; well, I'd say most all of them are friends of mine, if not really good friends. A couple are even rivals in this thing or that. My sensei's are like older brothers teaching me what I need to know; although I'd say Ero-Sennin is more like my grandpa," I chuckle. "And Iruka-sensei is more like a father… and then there are a few of my comrades that mean a little more to me than just good friends."

"Like what?" he asks, leaning over the desk slightly.

"Like… well, Sasuke I guess."

He rolls his eyes, something I've never seen him do. But it was a quick and hardly exaggerated movement. "Ah yes, the Uchiha. You mention him quite a bit."

"That's because he's… well, he's like my brother. Used to be only my rival, but we became pretty close. Which is why, when he left, I…" but my sentence dies on my tongue.

Yet Gaara understands, nodding his head. "I see. What about the pink-haired girl? Your other teammate?"

"Oh, you mean Sakura-chan? She's a close friend, too… although…" I blush, scratching my cheek. "I guess you could say I sort of… _like _her."

Gaara's brows fall slightly, a frown. He didn't get what I meant.

I nervously giggle. "Um, well, I guess it was probably stronger when I was younger, before I went away to train my ass off with Jiraiya. But some of it was still there when I came back. It's like a… _crush_, I guess."

I watch Gaara's aqua eyes widen for a millisecond. "You want to crush her?"

"Iiya!" I bark, smiling. "'Crushing' on someone means you like them a lot, more than just friends," I hurriedly explain, not once telling someone about my crush on Sakura. Sure, I hinted about it to her, but I never officially told anyone. Man, this was awkward. "Having a crush is almost like loving someone, but it's not nearly as strong. Get it, dattebayo?" I exhale, saying most of that in one breath.

"I believe so," he replies. A tinge of a smile moves the left corner of his mouth. "And I think that just helped him with something."

I nods a few times, rubbing the back of my head. Kami, when it came to anything about love or friendship, Gaara just downright clueless. Everything had to be explained to him, no matter how embarrassing it was.

"One last question…" he starts again. "Out of your comrades, how do I rank?"

_Finally, something easy,_ I grin brightly. "Well that isn't to hard! You're very close to me, Gaara; you understand my pain and accept me. And you give me even more reason to become Hokage!" I add, shoving a fist in the air to show my determination.

I see his features soften as he smiles in that content way he does, eyes shining with a dull inner light like fireflies. If he were a girl, it'd be irresistibly cute. "That's so good to hear."

I squint at him playfully. "What about me? What do I mean to you out of your comrades?"

He face falls like mine had earlier, but in a much faster, harsher way. "I…" he pauses, pursing his lips again. "Well, I don't have many comrades to compare you to."

That looked like a lie; for once I could plainly see it written on his face. He was thinking of something different, I just know it. "Well then, compared to the few you do have, where do I rank?"

He glances up at me. "I'm not sure… it's almost like what you said about me, but…"

When he stopped stalking for a moment, I took that as my sign to leave. "Fine, you maul that over, Gaara. In the meantime, I think I'll head for that training place you mentioned. Ja," I shrugged and said off-handedly, turning to leave.

I heard him make a noise behind me, but I was already out the door.


	9. Secret

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

Okay, sparring with sand nin in a greenhouse with a bazillion unnatural plants and rough hills in the middle of Suna is both weird and tiring. I could hardly get some of these people off my back, the way we split into 'every shinobi for himself' teams and tossed kunai and crap at each other. At one point, it was less a fight and more of a contest to see who had the coolest jutsus. I won with my Rasengan, of 'course; who can beat a ball of swirling chakra that makes people fly clear across the room with one hit? Not to mention I'm the only one who can do kage bushin no jutsu, using every clone to my advantage.

I'm pretty much awesome.

But then I go 'home' to find a fire exploding in the kitchen as Temari forgets about something on the stove for a few minutes and our meal is fried into black gunk. "Whoops!" the quad-ponytail girl says, throwing a hand to the back of her neck. Turning serious, she tells us, "This never happened, got it?"

Kankurou and I nod, and she forces him to help clean up. Vaguely, I notice that Gaara isn't here. "Oi, Temari-san, where's Gaara?"

"Sometimes he works late," she replies. "Before, when he still couldn't sleep, he'd sometimes stay there all night and never come home."

"I heard him on the roof half the time he did that," Kankurou adds, rubbing a pot dry with a towel. "Probably watching the sky or something girly like that."

Temari glared at him. "It's not 'girly' to like to look at the heavens at night, Kankurou. Maybe if you did it sometime, you'd see what I mean."

"Think I'll pass," he mutters, scratching a spot Temari missed with his fingernail. "That really ain't my style."

Ignoring the unimportant night-sky debate, I nod a little "Oh," while taking that information in. I was right, he really is unpredictable; his siblings just proved it. But I guess they don't mind; they're used to him being that way. But I hardly ever see the guy (since my Village is a three days trip away), so I can't say I'm used to it yet._ I really have to go to Suna more; or better yet, convince Gaara to come to Konoha more on Kazekage business or whatever. I hate not seeing my friends for such long periods of time. Training with Jiraiya for nearly 3 years was hell on that part of me._

"I smell burning," comes Gaara's deep voice from the doorway.

Kankurou laughs as Gaara walks in. "Yep; Temari ruined dinner. Guess we're starving tonight!"

Temari whacked him on the head with the dish towel he's been holding. "Didn't I tell you, 'this never happened', just a few minutes ago, baka?!" she hisses.

The brunette sweat drops and backs out of hitting range. "Uh, yeah, you did. Sorry, Tem."

She turns to greet Gaara. "I wasn't sure you were going to come home tonight; good to have you at the table, even if I have to re-cook us dinner."

His shoulders twitch, like a shrug. "That's fine, Temari."

She blinks at his response before smiling. "Okay. Dinner will be ready soon enough, then. Just don't expect it to be super fabulous."

I give her a thumbs-up, telling her we didn't care. At least, I didn't; food was food, right? I'd be happy to have anything right now. I'm starved from training with (mostly) myself.

"So," Kankurou said, sitting at the other side from Gaara at the table. "What did you do today, Naruto?"

"I checked out that indoor training ground at the other side of the city. I was there sparring for most of the day."

"Cool," Kankurou says. He turns to the redhead. "What about you? Any news, oh great Kazekage?"

Gaara's eyes flicker at the mocking tone in his older brother's tone, but he says lightly, "Nothing much. I sent a few teams out on a mission or two, mostly to check that the blonde Akatsuki member who killed me was truly dead from the explosion Hatake Kakashi described. Two teams did that while another I sent to scout the cave I was killed in, specifically the statue that now holds Shukaku inside."

The puppeteer nods, wiping some paint of his face with his sleeve. Why does he wear that shit, anyway? He looks better without it. Kiba, too. And just about any other guy I know who wears make-up. At the sound of Shukaku's name, I suddenly ask, "Do you miss him?"

Gaara looks at me strangely, like:_ 'have you lost your mind?'_. But still, after a little thought, he says, "I don't, honestly. There was nothing about him I liked."

"Really?" I ask. "Because if I lost Kyuubi, I think I might miss him, somehow."

"If you lost your Kyuubi," Gaara reminds me, "You'd be dead."

"Oh. Right. Well, if I didn't die, then I'd miss him."

"What for?" Kankurou snaps. "I mean, all Gaara's demon ever did was give him grief."

I wince, forgetting for a moment what Gaara's exact situation was with his demon. Or what used to be his demon. "Well, Kyuubi's different; he gives me chakra if I need it, and a lot of strength when I get angry. Plus, he hates it when I get too hurt; it pisses him off because it hurts him, too, so he lets me heal super fast."

My friend's eyes flash with sudden apprehension, and he murmurs, "So that's how it is."

"That's how what is, Gaara?" Kankurou asks.

"Yeah, what?" I also ask.

I could tell he didn't like being put on the spot. "Oh, nothing," he says slowly. "Just… that's how it is with the Nine Tailed Fox. I always wondered how your demon was different from my own, aside from all the obvious reasons."

"Like looks and elements?" I chuckle. "Or species of 'animal', for that matter."

He nods, taking me seriously. "Yes, besides those reasons."

Kankurou looks between us. After a moment, he makes an amused sigh. "You demon-carriers are so weird…"

"Actually, I'm the only demon-carrier now," I remind him, shaking a finger in his direction.

Kankurou mutters something, but I can't catch what. It sounded like, 'don't I know it'.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

There was a way with how he always seemed so casual and so upbeat that made my heart ache. It wasn't painful like the ache I felt when I was a child, but was more like an ache of longing. I didn't understand it, and it seemed the more time I spent with him, the more it grew.

I was never around Naruto enough to get this feeling before this week. I suppose it takes time to get this odd aching. Earlier today, when he was talking to me about the comrades I asked about, it briefly made my heart ache even more when he referred to me. It seemed to twist happily, a sort of flipping-fluttering motion. I inwardly frowned at that, because it sounded utterly silly. Not to mention a bit… embarrassing. For some reason, I didn't want him to know I felt that warmness in my heart around him. I'd have to keep it as my little secret.

Is this what Temari meant when she wanted him to make me 'feel'? I used to kill to get any feeling inside me worthwhile, but I realize now that was completely wrong, completely _warped_. I shutter, absolutely hating my old self. Naruto sees me shutter and asks if I'm cold. It was after sunset, so I probably had every reason to be cold. I lie by nodding my head. Temari offers to turn on the heater. I tell her to, still covering up such a small action. Why they worry so much about me escapes me. Maybe they're afraid I'll die again. But what do they expect? Am I just going to freeze in the middle of the night? The desert gets cold with no insulation on the ground or sky, but that doesn't mean it gets artic like the Land of Snow.

"There, all done," Temari says after a moment or two. "Time to eat!"

"Great! I'm starved," Naruto drools, on looking Temari's fresh cooking. It did look pretty good; she outdid herself.

"I burned it the first time because it's a new recipe I'm trying," she says. I know she doesn't like to cook, but you'd think she did by the way she tries new things every so often. Usually on special occasions. What was this occasion, then, I wonder?

Naruto inspects what she made. "You know, I think I've had something like this before. Hinata made it for me once." He takes a bite. Smirking, he tells my sister, "Hmm, yours doesn't taste as good as hers. Guess you'll be a bad housewife, then."

I could practically see the way Temari boiled with anger. She pulled out her fan and smacked him with it, right in the back of the head. "Shut up and eat, Uzumaki!"

"Ouch, ow! Gomen, gomen!!"

Suddenly, I start shaking. My stomach bubbles and a sound comes out the base of my throat. I was **laughing**. It was much more lighthearted then any laughter I've made before, and I wondered what about this scene made me giddy enough to laugh.

Three pairs of eyes look over at me, shocked. "Oi, Gaara, are you okay?" Kankurou asks, staring hard at me.

"I'm… just… fine!" I chuckle, calming down. "Can't you tell that I was laughing?"

"Yeah, but I've never heard you sound like that before… for a second I thought you were crying or something…" my brother says airily, still staring.

"Ah, Gaara, you're so cute when you do that!" Temari says, giving me a quick hug. I push her away gently.

"What up with you, Temari? You're acting like I'm 5," I mumble.

She just grins.

Naruto, on the other hand, was rubbing the sore spot Temari made on his skull while looking at me strangely. "I guess comical violence is Gaara's taste in jokes," he mutters. He sticks his tongue out at me like an immature brat. "Thank for the support."

The corner of my moth twitches into a smile. "She's my sister, and I know better than to critique her cooking. You didn't, so I'm laughing at your stupidity. With the way Temari is, did you think she'd let you get away with saying that?"

"With the way I am?" Temari quits her smiling, raising an eyebrow. "And how is that, Gaa-nii?"

"I told you not to call me that," I retort, scooping up a mouthful of food with my chopsticks. I chewed, tasting her work. Maybe Naruto's had better, but I thought it tasted perfectly well. I wanted it saltier, though.

My sister sighs and seats herself, serving up her own plate to eat. We sit there for a moment, just eating. With a bored tone, Kankurou suggests, "Let's rent a movie. I feel like sitting on my ass tonight."

"Sure, I feel like one too," Temari remarks, taking a gulp of water. At the same time, Naruto downs some milk.

"But what will we see?" I ask casually, not very fond of movies. But I'll watch one anyway.

"Oh! Get an action or an epic, please. Those are my favorites," my friend pipes up.

Temari pouts. "But I want a chick flick." When it came to my sister, the only girly thing she liked was 'chick flicks'. I thought they were a tad boring.

"I say a comedy," Kankurou adds. "But that action movie idea ain't so bad, either."

"Then just get more than one movie," I tell him. "If you say they're for me, I bet you'll get a discount."

My brother laughs. "Ha, genius! I'll do just that…"

"Gaara, that's a bit sneaky, don't you think?" Naruto accuses.

I just send him a look. "But it's partially the truth. I'll be watching some of them with you three."

"Really? But I thought you hated movies, Gaara," Temari adds. She appeared suspicious, but was grinning.

"I'm not very fond of them, no," I say. "But every once in a while I can indulge myself with some pretend story."

Kankurou snorts, as if to say, 'I'll believe that when I see it'. Temari winks at me. "Oh, I get it now."

I flush at her wink, hoping she wasn't thinking… uh, something ridiculous. And by the way she giggled next, I knew she caught the color in my face. Damn, I despise my pale complexion; it gives away all my unwanted thoughts that cause me to blush. Naruto, luckily, remained oblivious to our exchange, as did Kankurou; both of which I was thankful for. The last thing I need is Naruto prying or Kankurou teasing me.

"Kankurou, I can come with you, ne? I want to pick out something," I hear the kitsune ask as Temari and I clean up after dinner.

"Sure thing."

As we hear the door open, Temari shouts, "NO PORN!"

Kankurou just laughs, but it was in a way that told me he had been thinking about it. Naruto laughs in the same way, as if it had been all his idea to begin with.

"We won't, promise!" said blonde calls back, and the door shuts behind them.

"Boys," my sister murmurs, rolling her eyes. I glance sideways at her. She feels the stare and hastily adds, "Not that all boys are like that; especially not you, Gaara!"

I grin nastily. "You got that right."

It was her turn to look sideways at me. "And it looks like I was right about something else, too," she smirks.

My face slips into an ashamed expression. "Right about… what?"

Still smirking, she hands me the last dish to dry. "Oh, just my guess about Uzumaki Naruto and you."

"And… what was your guess?" I felt a little sick, because I feared she knew about my secret.

She chuckles cruelly. "Huhu, Gaara, don't be modest. I knew what was going on ever since you apologized to us after your fight with him. It started then and didn't stop, but now it's stronger than ever since you… came back. I can see it; I may not be like other girls, but I'm still a girl. I know what a crush looks like."

I drop the dish I had been drying, and the pottery shatters on the tiled floor with a terrible sound that rings in my ears. It wasn't until recently that Naruto told me what a crush was… but he never specified the feeling you get inside when you have one. Slowly, I regain my composure. "Uh… wh-what do you mean by 'crush'?"

She picks up the pieces of the broken plate, smirking at me ever still. "Actually, I take it back; it's less of a crush than an infatuation. Am I right?"

I knew what that word meant. It's a passion, an obsession, a variation of love. Automatically my fingers start to trace the raw, scaly flesh of my scar, with was no longer covered by a thick layer of sand like it was before. With my fingers going over it, I murmured "Ai," to myself.

Temari nods. "You know, I never expected you to fall for a girl. Specifically, I thought you'd fall for anyone what showed you kindness or empathy, or whoever knocked some well-needed sense into you. And as soon as you said you were sorry, I knew that person was Naruto. He's a guy, but I'm okay with it. 'Cause, despite what a knuckle-head he can be, he's a good guy. I hardly remember he has a demon, and at first thought he didn't have one with the way he acted when we first met him."

_Temari sure is talkative tonight,_ I think dully. But the other part of my mind was racing, taking in that she said. Was she right? Was I… "You're wrong," I tell her. It felt a lot like a lie, but I refused to have what she said be truth. "I wasn't meant to love anyone in that way. I can't be…"

She lightly punches my bicep. "Liar! I see how you act around him. No one else makes you act that… **human**. You smile a lot more and your eyes look so much kinder." She pauses. "I wish you'd be happy like that all the time," she adds solemnly.

I shake my head at her, still refusing what she was saying.

"Look," she establishes, rolling her dark teal eyes slightly. "Don't believe me. But believe your heart; what does it do when you're with him compared to when you're with me, or Kankurou, or anyone else?"

I cast my eyes down, gripping my chest through the layers of fabric. "It… it doesn't hurt. It aches with longing. It speeds up or somersaults, making me dizzy."

I had whispered it, and was surprised she heard it all. She nodded to me. "Well there you go, Gaara. You're in love."

My hand drops as my head shoots up to glare at her, eyes narrowed. "Temari, I swear, if you tell anyone I'll –"

She backs away. "I know, I know… believe me, my lips are sealed. It'll be our little secret."

I grumble something about it supposed to be _my_ secret only, but my sister just chuckles again as she sweeps up the dust left behind by the broken pottery.


	10. Sleepy Head

**A/N: i love it in fics when either Temari or Tsunade play matchmaker for Gaara and Naruto. in this chapter (and probably in the last) you'll notice i have Temari playing this part, but later i may add Tsunade as well. they both just seem like girls who like to inflict uncomfortable (but good) tension on the people they care about. in this case, Temari inflicts it on Gaara and later Tsunade will probably do the same for Naruto. despite how she acts, we all know Tsunade cares. Temari too. actually, i might have Tem-chan acting a little OOC with how sisterly she's being, but whatever. it's my story, kukuku. **

* * *

They decided on that action film Naruto and Kankurou had picked out, and with some popcorn made Temari sunk down into the couch with Gaara, Kankurou taking the armchair and Naruto seated on the floor.

"You'll go blind sitting that close to the television!" Temari barked at Naruto.

"But I want to be able to see everything, 'ttebayo!"

"You can see it all just fine from here," the lighter blonde replied. For a second she looked to her side at Gaara, a smile on her lips. Then she said, "Why not sit next to Gaara here on the couch? It's big enough."

The redhead in question deadpanned uncomfortably. "He can sit where he wants, Temari."

"Which I bet is right next to his friend here on the couch," she counters. "Ne, Uzumaki?"

"Um…" He hesitated, looking back and forth. To get possible hit on the head again by Temari, or to make Gaara silently pissed? Choices, choices. "Right… that's where I want to sit."

"Good, because the movie is about to start," the puppet master grumbled, glad Naruto was getting out of the way.

Uneasily, the Leaf nin slumped onto the couch beside Gaara, being careful not to accidentally touch him. He turned his focus to the movie, which started off surprisingly with a chase. Normally movies build up to the action, but it appeared this one wasn't like that. Clicking into attention, Naruto canceled out everything else as he watched the action sequence, completely absorbed. How like him to get so into a movie.

The leading male character, Naruto found about a third of the way through, was very easy to relate to. He was a young adult, hair older than Temari, who was an orphan that only had his little sister to care for. But to care for her he became a criminal, using his self-taught skills to steal and fight. The chase in the beginning was him running off with a load of weaponry and food, so that he could feed his sister and defend himself against the bad guys of the film that wanted to kidnap his sister. Because, secretly, she held great amounts of powerful chakra within her, something like a demon's chakra but purer.

_He's kind of like me,_ the kitsune thought sleepily. _He has his precious person to protect, and will do anything to do it, even if it means becoming a criminal; even if it means becoming hated…_

Slowly, nearing the end of the movie, Naruto realized how exhausted the exercise with the Sand nins were earlier that day, and he fell asleep.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

The first thing I felt was the sudden weight upon my shoulder, and the tickle of soft locks on my jaw. The next thing I felt was the plunk of a hand, curled in sleep, landing from someone's lap onto my thigh. Vaguely I smelled sun and grass and heat, most likely the scents left in the blonde's hair after training by himself today. The last thing I felt was a sharp intake of breath and the tense of my muscles, along with a jolt in my chest.

Naruto had obviously fallen asleep, but the action caused him to slump onto **me** as a pillow.

Beside me, Temari smiled wickedly, and I wanted to take my sand and choke her. But I'm not as good at controlling it anymore, and even though it's been a few days, I'm still too weak to try much of it. As if she wanted me to kill her, Temari leaned down slightly and whispered, "It feels nice, doesn't it?"

My arm twitches, and I give into the urge to hit her. I punch, not too hard, in her side. She grunts but shuts up. The pathetic thing is, she's right: it does feel… nice. He was so warm, a tad hotter than any normal person; maybe it was the fiery Kyuubi that made him that way, maybe it was because I was too cold, or maybe I was imagining things. Either way, it was comfortable in a terribly distracting way. I almost wanted to wake him up or push him away, but I didn't. I _couldn't_.

Sighing through my nose like I do, I just stay – stiff as a board – against the kitsune. He murmurs in his sleep for a minute before falling silent, the only noise being his slow breaths.

I stared at him in the dull light for a while, vaguely admiring his peaceful face. An urge to touch those strange whisker marks fill my fingers, but I resist. If I touched Naruto's face, it might seem a little… for lack of better words: out of the ordinary. Then the lights were on and I snapped my head up to see Kankurou rewinding the VHS. I start to move, but Naruto stirs in his sleep and turns on his side, clinging to my arm. I freeze in place, my face and heart growing anxious. I was **not **used to this sort of contact.

Suddenly Kankurou starts laughing. "Need some help there, Gaara?"

I nod briskly. He laughs again, coming over to pry Naruto free. Groggily, the blonde awakes. "Eh?" he yawns. "What the big deal? I was really comfortable, datte… bayo…"

"I bet you were," my brother chuckles, pulling the blonde to his feet. He lets go and the boy sways before steadying himself.

"I guess I'll just… head off to bed…" Naruto slurs. He obviously was the type who didn't like to be woken up from such a deep slumber.

"Yeah, because your bed isn't my little brother," Kankurou tells him with mock scolding.

"Nani?" Naruto asks, but then he glances behind himself at me. "Oh… sorry, Gaara. I guess I did fall asleep on you."

"Don't let it happen again," I murmur, standing up and nearly shoving passed him. "I'll be in my room."

"Uh, sure Gaara. Good night," Kankurou says, ejecting the VHS from the machine.

Down the hallway I find Temari blocking my door. "What's with you? Get out of the way," I tell her.

"Someone's cranky. I wonder why…"

"You know why," I grumble as I walk into my room.

She smirks. "You're right, I do. And I think you're taking it the wrong way."

"Really? Then how should I be taking it?" I snap, yanking off my Kazekage robes. I didn't care if I changed in front of Temari; besides, all I had to do was slip on a shirt to sleep in.

"You should be happy," she says slowly, wrinkles forming on her forehead as she frowns. "Yet you seem… angry."

"Because I am."

"At who? At _what_?"

"Since when did you become Miss I-want-to-know-everything-about-you?" I hiss, trying not to be too loud. I didn't want Kankurou to hear this, and especially not Naruto.

"And since when did you become Mr. overly-emotional?" she retorts, using the same caution in volume.

I sigh. She had me there. "I… I'm not sure. I don't feel like myself."

"Well there's the understatement of the century."

I stare hard at my sister. "Is this supposed to make me feel better?"

Temari sighs as well. "Not this, no. But I hope this will: Gaara, look, I know what you're going through right now. It's like… the denial state of loving someone. I know it's especially hard for you, since you're so young and never had much love –"

"The proof of that is etched onto my face," I whisper.

"– But I still understand. You're mad at yourself for feeling weak, frustrated that you don't know if the other person feels the same, and longing to be with them. Am I right?"

I nod weakly. "Hai…"

"So why not just go with the flow, Gaara? I learned not to fight it, and now I'm just fine."

I look sideways at her. "So who's the lucky guy I get to kill for being with my big sister?" I smirk.

She flushes a dark crimson before closing her eyes and coughing into her hand. "That's none of your business."

"Oh, but me being with Naruto is yours?"

She gets a cocky look on her face. "Of 'course; you're my little brother, not to mention my Kazekage. So, naturally, I want things to go right for you. I want you to be happy and find the love you're seeking."

I feel my face tint with a sliver of heat. "That's fair, I suppose. But I doubt I can be happy with him in the way you're thinking of."

Her face goes blank, except for her eyes. "Eh? Doushite?"

I smile sadly. "Because I'm Gaara."

She bows her head, because even she knows that I'm right. As much as I'd like to be wrong, deep down I feel sick with how right I know I am.

Because what luck did I** ever** have in love?

Just that: none.

So why should my luck change now?

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

I woke up still dressed in my dirty clothes from yesterday, and my mouth tasted like really nasty morning breath. I groaned into my pillow, refusing to get up. And why was it so damn hot? I felt like I was frying like an egg. Konoha never gets this hot!

For a moment, I had forgotten I was still in Sunakagure. Hmm, I must really feel at home here if I forgot where I was. Wonder why…

Wiping sweat from my forehead, I sat up and reached for the water on my bedside table. I remember Temari telling me to have it there for the morning. It was supposed to be a real scorcher today, according to the people at the weather tower. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I downed the whole glass, which tasted warm and stale. But it got most of that morning breath taste out of my mouth, so who was complaining?

The first real thought I had as soon as I was awake enough to stand was: _what time is it?_ The next was: _how many days do I have left to stay?_ And the last was: _I gotta pee._

So, with the first thought in mind I glance at my clock. 7:06. With the last thought in mind, I hobble out my door to the bathroom, which thankfully wasn't in use. And with the last thought in mind, I mauled over how many days extra I've been here. Just about 3, right? And Sakura said by next week… which would be in another two days or so. Fine, so I'll leave in two days (not including today). The old hag should be satisfied with that. Besides, I kind of need a vacation. It's a blistering hot, sandy vacation, but time off nonetheless.

After answering nature's call, I realized I stunk. Like really bad B.O. and sweat. I grimaced and slid off my clothes, setting them aside while I turned the water on. It was always chilly when I ran the water, I noticed. Maybe that's because I only use it during the day, and all the heaters aren't turned on until after sundown. But I didn't care; the cool water felt good and helped wake me to up.

After my shower I headed back to my room, hoping no one saw me wrapped with only a towel around my waist, dirty clothes in hand. I was lucky, because no one seemed to be in this part of the house within the 'kage's mansion. I hurriedly shut my door and stepped into new clothes, noticing that I was out of clean ones. Shoot, unless I want to smell, I have to do some laundry. _Great, I just love laundry,_ I thought sarcastically._ But I might as well get that done and over with._

So, by myself (which felt oddly quiet, and I didn't like it) I did some laundry, or at last enough for a few more days. I hope Temari-san doesn't mind that I'm using her washing machine.

Listlessly, I remembered falling asleep during the end of the movie last night. I remembered something warm and soft, but a little bony. I think I fell asleep on someone's shoulder… but who was sitting next to me again? Oh, wait; it was Gaara, wasn't it? Kuso. I should probably apologize for leaning on him like that. They say it's okay to lean on your friends every once in a while, but I don't think they mean literally. That, and I know better; Gaara's mostly a 'don't-touch-me' kind of person. Oops.

I headed for the Kazekage office, and oddly the door was open. When I glanced inside, I saw the usual furnishings and circular windows, but no Gaara. I frowned to myself before asking a guard that was hanging around where he went.

"Kazekage-sama is in a meeting, I'm afraid," says some guy who acted like he had a stick stuck up his ass. He probably didn't, but who knows, maybe there was some sand up there. Whenever I'm in the desert, it doesn't matter what I do: sand hides everywhere in my clothes, and I have no I idea how it got there.

Sighing, I tell the guard thanks before walking outside to blow time. Where was that ice cream shop again? I remember a dirty, blue-ish canopy over it… shouldn't be too hard to find. Besides, Suna is one big circle for the most part, ne? So I shouldn't get lost trying to find some ice cream place…


	11. Lost And Waiting

**A/N: you know, it's hard writing for Gaara. i never quite know if i have him OOC or not, since he's changed. i make him out to be somewhat logical, i think; but he's a logical, thoughtful guy, right? another reason why i think i'm making him OOC is because haven't seen any of the 'new' him since that handshake in Shippuuden. i really miss seeing the redhead, actually... and i miss Naruto being in the same shot as him, haha. but i digress; the point of this author's notes is not about my writing at all, but to tell you guys i'm in the middle of making a really awesome (or at least i think so) vid i'm going to post on youtube. i'm using the song 'Comatose' by Skillet. EFFING GREAT SONG. and band. and choice for a GaaNaru vid. check my youtube profile (link in my profile on here) for updates. there's a preview about 51 seconds long already posted. -grin-**

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I can't believe – or maybe I can? – that Naruto got himself lost. I will admit that Suna is not the easiest place to navigate, but I can argue that Konoha isn't, either. Still, he was foolish not to take a guide with him if he was going to roam around the Village.

I sighed with a frustrated tone, my front teeth finding their way to my bottom lip. I nibbled on the tender flesh like it wasn't even happening, which I guess what you'd call a 'habit'. My eyes darted to the windows as I watched people start to scout for my friend. He can't go missing a few days before he was supposed to go home; that was just nonsense. I was the one who got kidnapped and killed, but of 'course the blonde has to go and make matters worse by reversing things, only instead of kidnapping and murder, he's simply lost within the walls of the city. "Just perfect," I growled to myself.

"Kami, Gaara you look like a wreck. Maybe if you went out and looked for him yourself, you'd feel better."

"Temari, I really don't need your opinion right now."

"It's less of a opinion and more of a suggestion. I think you should look for him yourself."

"Shut up, will you?"

He smiles vaguely. "I'm going to go help. Don't hesitate to follow…" she hints as she shunshins to just outside the Kazekage building. I watch her silhouette, fan and all, fade into the dimming light.

Really, how could he have gotten lost? I told him to just look for the Tower…

Shaking my head, I decided to follow Temari. I might as well; no point in sitting useless in my office. So with that I rushed out the door, hoping to find just whom I was seeking.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

I shuttered as the cool of the night started to seep in. Fuck, where the hell was I? For some reason I can't find the Kazekage Tower. Angry with myself, I kept wandering anyway. But hadn't Iruka told me once to stay in one place when you're lost? Gah, I can't remember now. But I can't stay in one place if it's getting colder; you're supposed to keep moving when a chill sets in or else you'll catch a cold. Speaking of which, I sneezed suddenly.

_I'm blaming Gaara if I get_ _sick,_ I tell myself. _He's the reason I got bored and wandered off._

All of a sudden, I hear my name being called. Oddly, it didn't sound like it came to my ears, but more of to somewhere inside. I stood still and 'listened' for it to come again, and when it did I took a step around a corner out of an alley id didn't even apprehend I was in to begin with. I follow that calling to a big, main road, to see red hair sticking out like a sore thumb even in the slowly dimming light of the sun.

"Oi, Gaara! Over here!" I call, jogging to him. His head whips around, and a shockingly handsome smile of relief comes to his lips for a brief moment. I slowed in my tracks and watched dumbly as he hit me on the head.

"I told you to keep your eye on the 'kage Tower so you wouldn't get lost," he scolds me.

I wince and smile weakly. "Heh heh, sorry about that." I rub the back of my head, feeling stupid for getting myself lost. Serves me right, I guess.

His face changes slightly, stay serious but with a different approach. "I'll always come looking for you if you get lost again," he says to me, and I remove my hand from my head and stare at him. He continues, "Just like how you came looking for me. I still owe you, though; nothing can compare to how much you've done for me."

I chuckle a few times, trying to shrug it off. "Don't worry about it, Gaara; really. It was noth–"

"It was everything," he whispers, but maybe that was just the desert wind I hear blowing in my ear; I'm not sure. But I know for a fact he said this next: "Now let's get back and tell everyone that you're found."

"Okay," I nod, following him as he walked down the street, seeming much more graceful that me. Humph. I can walk like that if I want to…

"What are you doing?" my friend asks, studying the way I was moving.

"Trying to walk like you," I mutter. "If I want to be Hokage and your equal, I have to act like it…"

He looks away and again I hear what I think is him whispering, but I'm not sure. "You're already my equal."

Since I thought that came form him and not the blowing sand, I reply, "That's nice and all, but I meant in status, Gaara. I mean, I'm still a freaking gennin! It pisses me off."

I grind my teeth, and Gaara tells me in a soft tone, "Technically, yes you are only a gennin, but in skill level you're much higher than that. Jounnin, at least."

I flush slightly. Scratching my cheek, I ask meekly, "You really think so?"

"I know so, Naruto," he reassures me, and I smile brightly.

"Wow, Gaara; thanks!" I grin, clamping my hand on his shoulder. He freezes at my touch, and vaguely I get that weird electrical charge from the contact like I did when we shook hands. I take my hand off, thinking: _whoa, that was weird!_

The Kazekage building was in sight now, and I notice Gaara picking up the pace. I shrug and jog a few steps to get back to his right side, following him like a puppy into the building. "Mm, it's nice and warm in here," I sigh as we walk inside. The heaters must have been turned on.

"The hottest days usually turn into the coldest nights," my seafoam-blue eyed friend informs me.

"Are you serious? That's odd. But I guess it makes sense, you know, in a twisted way." I shrug in response.

We found Kankurou inside the 'house' level of the 'kage building; he seemed to be napping. Gaara walks around his brother to the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator. "Want some water?" he asks.

"Oh, yeah. Sure." I nod, reaching out a hand. He seemed careful not to touch me when he handed me the cool plastic bottle. I inwardly frowned. "Gaara."

His eyes glance up at mine, and I notice it's because I was a few centimeters taller than he was. "Hai?"

"Are you mad at me for getting lost or something? Or for sleeping on you by accident? Because you're acting weird. I mean, outside a second ago you were fine, but…" I click my tongue, annoyed.

He glances at Kankurou for a minute. I look over my shoulder slightly in time to see the brunette still napping. I looked back to see Gaara think the same thing and loosen his tense muscles. "You're right," he begins slowly. "And I apologize. It's not your fault, really. It's mine."

"But you didn't do anything wrong! So why are you acting this way? I may be oblivious sometimes, but I notice all the small changes in my friends' actions." He looks away, off at something out the window above the sink. I sigh. "Look, Gaara, I don't mean to pry or anything. You don't have to tell me. I just want you to, which is selfish. I should remember you're not one to heavily trust others." It wasn't an insult. I was simply stating a fact.

He nods, knowing what I meant. He still wasn't looking at me, I noticed. But then how come, sometimes, I catch him unable to look away from me?

"But I do trust you, Naruto. You're one of the few I do… it's just something I'm not sure you'll like to hear."

I snort. "**Like **to hear? There are a lot of things I wouldn't like to hear. Like someone I care about being found dead. The Akatsuki on my tail. Or Heaven forbid, Sakura turning lesbian and completely out of my reach. Those are things I wouldn't _'like to hear'._ Two of them I've heard, too, from time to time. But I just take it in and react accordingly. So whatever it is, I'm sure you can tell me; if you want to, that is."

Gaara glances shyly at me before casting his eyes to the floor. "Not now. I… I'm not ready to tell you just yet."

"Okay," I smile warmly. "See? That wasn't so hard. That was all you had to say."

"Heh," he grunts softly before walking away. "I'm going to go take a shower. If Temari asks where I am when she comes back, tell her that."

"Sure thing," I nod before taking a big gulp of water. Being lost can really make you thirsty…

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I closed the bathroom door behind me and let out a low, long breath I didn't know I'd been holding. The way he has stared at me, begging for an explanation… it made my heart squirm in my chest. The whole time I was battling with myself. Tell him, don't, tell him, don't… I felt like some air-headed teenaged girl. Better yet, I felt like Matsuri, only less fan-like. Things were not going well.

Idly I took the shower I said I would, but it was mostly to wash away my feelings for Naruto than the sandy dust on my skin. It didn't work; after I had stepped out of water I turned to burning temperatures, I was still feeling like I was… um… _in love_ with him.

Why was that so hard to say, even in my own mind? Was I afraid to…_ love_ him… or something of the like?_ I am,_ I think. _I'm afraid he'll reject my love for him._ Because what was it he said about that pink-haired girl? He had a 'crush' on her? That's just short of love. Which means, obviously, he wouldn't…

Because she's a girl, right? That's probably it. If you want to get old-fashioned, you'd say that only man and woman are meant to be together. 'Being straight' Kankurou once explained to me. He told me all about sexual orientations, all four kinds that I could understand. Naruto mentioned one earlier; 'lesbian' it's called. When a girl likes other girls. 'Gay', I think, is what Kankurou said when a boy likes other boys. And then there was a fourth, 'bi', meaning two; you liked both boys and girls no matter which you were yourself. So… because I loved Naruto… did that make me gay? And since he likes Sakura, did that make him straight?

I shake my head wearily. Sexualities are confusing. Why can't I just love whom I love? Why does it matter that I'm male and that person is, too? Temari said she doesn't 'mind it'. I understand now she meant she doesn't care that I'm 'gay'. But I'm not sure I want to labeled that way. Again, I ask: why can't I just fall in love with whoever I fall in love with?

And as far as loves go, Naruto makes perfect sense. I know I didn't choose wrong. The only part of my choice that seems wrong is this issue of sexual preferences.

But I have to try. Perhaps he was lying; liking Sakura could just a cover up or a fluke and he's gay like I (apparently) am. Or perhaps, if I'm lucky, he's straight with me as an exception. But that might make him bisexual.

"Grahh!" I growl in a frustrated tone. Romanic love is never easy for anyone, but it feels like the people who have the most problems with love in general get shafted. I'm the prime example.

After dressing myself I step out of the bathroom to find Temari there. "So you found him yourself, I'm guessing?"

I nod. "He wasn't so hard to find; there really are many blondes in bright orange here in Suna."

She chuckles. "Ain't that the truth. But Gaara, I came in here to see how you were holding up."

I frown at her, a few drops from my still-wet hair leaking onto my brow. "What are you implying?"

She smirks. "Kankurou was pretending to sleep earlier, you know. He told me you had something to say to Uzumaki but couldn't…?"

I blushed a shade of magenta I wasn't used to. Temari noticed and it made her smirk even bigger. I said in a calm, simple way: "I was going to confess why I've been acting weird lately. That's all."

She imploded. "NAAANI?!" I'm sure the whole house could hear her. Before I could react, she was on me like white on rice. "Are you serious? You're going to confess? 'That's all' my ass! This is huge, Gaara! I'm kind of proud of you right now."

I shove her out of my personal space. "You were so loud just now, I bet he knows already. Nice going," I mock. Then I begin walking down the hallway to the kitchen. I was hungry.

She makes a fake pouting face. "Don't be that way. I was just surprised. Besides, he left with Kankurou before you got out of the shower."

I whirl around. "Left? To where?"

"To return the movies we rented, silly. They'll be back soon."

"Oh," I said airily while shifting through our cabinets. "What's there to eat?"

"We have some leftovers from last night… and one cup of ramen left. Plus some fruit, I think."

I reach for the tea pot to heat some water. It's Naruto's favorite food, ironically, but it sounded good at the moment.

"Wait, Gaara, before you make the instant stuff, do you think we should treat everyone to the real stuff?" Temari inquires after she saw my movements.

I pause on filling the kettle. "You know, that isn't such a bad idea."

She winked at me. "Aww, it'll be like your first date, except with me and Kankurou as your chaperones."

I gave her a death glare for that one. It shut her right up, cocky smile and all.


	12. Time Wasted, Now It’s Goodbye

**A/N: shitshit, you're all going to kick my ass and demand a new chapter right away. i'll give it to you, i promise! i'll write ASAP, becuase after this chapter i know you'll need another. THIS IS NOT THE END, mind you, only the first half i guess you could say. this fic may or may not end happily, but however it ends won't be this chapter. you'll see. anyway, please enjoy and try not to be too bloody in the author bashing, haha. this is a good chapter, really, just not good in what happens at the very end. -sad face-

* * *

**

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

I have to hand it to Sunakgakure; when it came to ramen shops, theirs rivaled Ichiraku. Almost. Ichiraku will always be the best, I know, but hey, this place comes close. You'd think that, since we're in the desert, the ramen might have grits of sand in it here and there, or the place might be run down looking. But it was just the opposite: tip-top shape and great food. I was surprised in a really good way.

Temari took all the credit for the idea of taking us here. Kankurou seemed not to mind it. "We haven't come here in forever! I kind of missed this old place…"

"Yup. And the perks of having a brother as the Kazekage never cease to please me," Temari adds lowly to us, motioning to the piles of food that would normally cost a lot being practically free, it was so cheap.

Gaara was the least bit ecstatic. Well, it seemed that way, but as soon as we had food in front of us he looked fine. Maybe he was just cranky from being hungry, I know I get like that someti– okay, so a lot. Jiraiya hated it when we were traveling so much. 'You're always hungry, you little pig,' he'd say. 'I'm a growing boy, Ero-Sennin! I can't help it!' I'd reply. And that was that, really. Although he'd steal my money sometimes, which pissed me off.

"Oi, Gaara, can you pass me a napkin?" For some reason, their ramen shop added much more broth to the ramen. Maybe it's because everyone's always so thirsty… My redheaded friend handed me a few napkins, and I nudged him with my elbow. "Arigato."

He murmured something, but it was too loud to hear what he had said. Unlike Ichiraku Ramen, this place was bigger and actually had tables like a real restaurant. I guess the people of Suna like their soups and noodles. But who can blame them? It's the best kind of food out there!

After we ate, Temari walked home while Kankurou said he had something to go do. I was stuck with Mr. Unusually Quiet All the Time. Uncomfortably, I offered, "So, what kind of music do you like to listen to?"

He shrugs. "I really never bothered. Too many songs made me think about things I really didn't want to think about."

"Oh, I see how that can be. Lots of songs are… like… full of mushy-love-crap. And stuff similar to it. Plus there's a lot of girly dance music out there that can get annoying. But of you did listen to music, what would you say is your favorite genre?"

"Probably alternative. If I was younger," he smirked lightly, "I might say heavy metal or rock. But nowadays, I would more likely lean to the alternative rock and such."

"Hmm," I hum, thinking that over. "Personally, I like a lot of stuff and tolerate a lot of it that I don't like. But I'd say the same, I suppose. Alternative and other rock, nothing too hardcore."

Gaara nods, like he expected as much from me. I lift my hands behind my head and lace my fingers, walking in silence for a few moments.

"I love the stars here," I mutter. "There are so many, and the sky is so clear. Not to mention to big. The sky seems… longer here. Like it stretches much farther. And all the stars are so much brighter since light pollution and clouds aren't around." Light pollution wasn't really a big deal in somewhere as small as Konoha, but the clouds and trees do tend to get in my way of watching the night sky.

I look sideways to see Gaara glancing up, and the moonlight and dull lighting of people's windows illuminate his face. His eyes looked like a grayish-green in this lighting, and his skin seemed paler (if that was even possible). But still he was Gaara, and he looked peaceful. Lowly, he replied, "I, of all people, would know what you're talking about; most nights I would be out on my rooftop watching the stars and the moon, resting my mind or exercising it, depending on that I was thinking. It was also a way to stay awake; I would count the stars or make up my own constellations." He smiled vaguely, turning to look at me. "I bet you've never done that."

I shake my head. "Nope. Never had the time or proper view of the night sky."

"I thought so," he replied with a tiny yawn. "Now that I can sleep, I haven't had much time for it either, lately."

"Speaking of which," I brought up with a finger. "It's getting late. We should head back and probably go to sleep soon. I'm leaving in a couple days, after all."

His head snapped in my direction, eyes slightly wide. Slowly he relaxed his face. "That's right, you are going to be leaving in a couple days…"

He said it like he forgot. "Of 'course, silly! I can't stay in Suna forever, dattebayo! I have people to get back to, not to mention a hot-tempered Hokage that loves to assign cheesy missions when I'd rather be training or doing something else."

"Like searching for the Uchiha," Gaara mumbles, almost sounding jealous.

"Un, like that… or I'd rather be doing something B- (or better yet) A-rank. Or even higher. I like challenges, or else I don't feel useful."

"You need to feel useful?"

I flush embarrassedly. "Did I say that out loud? I meant to stop at 'challenges'. But… yeah, I do want to feel useful. Because otherwise…"

"You're just the carrier of a demon."

I nod gravely. "Exactly."

Gaara nods to the 'kage Tower, which I notice we were nearing the doors of. "We're almost home."

"To yours, at least," I remind him.

For a moment, I thought I saw his lips mouth, 'it could be yours, too', but I'm not sure. I was probably imaging it. He must've said something, but it wasn't that. Couldn't be. That'd make it sound like… I dunno. But not right.

* * *

After things were so 'exciting', the last couple days fell into a sort of rhythm. Naruto got up. Ate. Showered. Dressed. Went and talked to Gaara, who he didn't notice blushed whenever the blonde came too close. Had dinner. Hung out until he was tired, Went to bed. Once more, on the day before he was to leave, Naruto trained at the greenhouse-like indoor training grounds. But that was mostly it.

But the day he was meant to leave broke that pattern. He packed in the morning so he wouldn't have to scramble to pack it later in the evening (since he was to travel at night to begin with; another scorcher was coming up). He ate eggs, toast and bacon that Kankurou (big surprise, since normally Temari was up and cooking) made, which looked so much better than Naruto's own burnt-to-a-crisp versions.

"Where's Temari?" the kitsune asked, mouth full of food. He washed it down with some milk, draining the glass.

Kankurou shrugged in response. "She said something about getting ready to leave with you. Gaara told us just this morning that she's needed in Konoha again."

"Really? Great. I get to travel with the girl who likes to hit me on the head with her big-ass fan." The blonde grumbles.

"At least it's closed when she hits you; if it were open, you'd be sent clear to the Mist!"

Naruto blinks. "Seriously? The Mist Village?" Vaguely he thought of Haku and Zabuza.

"Don't doubt Temari's fan, little man. She can hurl someone from here clear to the Mist or Konoha with those tornado-like winds she casts. Trust me, you do NOT want her to get mad at you and open that fan to hit. If she does, you'll end up miles away." Kankurou threatens with his chuckles.

"I'll keep that in mind…" Naruto murmurs, popping his last piece of bacon into his mouth. After brushing his teeth, he set his packed bags by the door so not to forget them. Naruto then decided to spend his last few hours with Gaara. Besides, he hadn't forgotten that Gaara owed him an explanation for his behavior.

* * *

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

"Surprised to see me?" he hummed as he stepped inside my office, closing the door behind him with a dry click.

"Not really, no," I reply, even though it was meant as a rhetorical question.

I glance up to find the kitsune grinning at me. "What cha up to?"

"Assignments; I'm trying to assign our newer teams of chunnin to some of the missions that need to be done. I just finished looking over the report a messenger bird sent about what they found at that cave, and the status on finding out if that Akatsuki member was truly dead."

"So what'd it say?"

I exhale tiredly. "The cave was deserted and a little destroyed thanks to your friend Sakura-san. But any hint of Shukaku's chakra seemed to have disappeared, so they called it quits and assumes that everything is safe and fine. The other part said they oddly couldn't find any evidence of my kidnapped being dead… or alive for that matter."

"I think that's the most you've spoken in a few days, Gaara," Naruto laughs at me, but it wasn't meant to be mean or hurtful. He was joking with me, his laugh warm and teasing.

I smiled faintly. "Anyway, what did you want?"

"Nothing," he replies, taking a seat on the corner of my wooden desk. "I just wanted to talk and hang out before I left tonight."

I pucker my brow. "I almost forgot that was tonight."

"Like I said the other day, Gaara, you can't expect me to stay forever. But you know, I'll see you again soon," he winks. "Even if I have to run away from Konoha with no excuse other than to see my best friend."

"Best… friend…?" I asked, testing the phrase. He had mentioned that I was close to him, but he never said exactly that. It hurt somewhat, because it meant he didn't feel the same way I did (unless he was hiding it like I tried so hard to do?). But in the same token it felt good to hear.

"Yup. Sasuke used to be like that, only more like a brother. But you're probably my true best friend, the only other person who totally gets me no mater what. I've said so before, right? You act so astounded," he chuckles again, making fun of my reaction. Then, after a pause, he jumps down form the desk and looks me in the eyes. "Which reminds me: you never did get to telling me why you were acting so weird. You ready to tell me yet, or should I be a patient friend and wait?"

I mulled that over. I probably should tell him now, before he leaves Suna for Kami knows how many more weeks, or months, or years (but hopefully not that long again). But then again, if I tell him, would that ruin our friendship? I hadn't thought of that, really: if he rejects my feelings, our relationship might just be ruined. And I wouldn't like that.

"Later today," I say quickly, thinking up an excuse. "After I finish… these assignments. Then I'll tell you why."

"Okay," he says so eagerly, so unbeknownst to what I had to say. In my mind from that point until I was done with my assignments, I practiced what I was going to say.

_'Naruto, you should know, the reason why I was acting weird was because I was confused. But after talking to my sister, she explained that it was… love. Ludicrous, ne? but… she was right. I can't deny what I've been slowly starting to feel these passed few years: I'm in love with you, you oblivious blonde.'_

That sounded extremely cheesy and cliché and terribly presented, as if I was an actor. So I tried again:

_'Naruto-kun…'_

Wait, I'll stop right there. We never use honorifics since we're already close enough to drop them, and adding '-kun' (or worse, if I were to add '-chan'), it would make me sound horribly mushy like, once again, a teenaged girl. Which, come to think of it, is exactly what I felt like while trying to think up ways of telling the boy across from me what I feel.

But I'm not fooling myself, am I? Perhaps… perhaps I don't love him at all, and it's just an unheard of sensation.

Now that seemed ludicrous.

As far as love goes, I think this is it; who else could impact me so? Who else could make my inner pain go away and leave instead a warm, buzzing feeling?

Then again, what would happen if I was rejected? What would become of my heart then?

I shuddered to think of that.

But isn't what Yashamaru told me (despite his own betrayal) true? Someone who takes that pain away and makes me feel so complete… isn't that 'love'? Not to mention I felt a sort of… 'attraction' towards Naruto. Anyone, I'd think, could agree on first sight that he was good-looking, but I'd argue that he was perfect. Even those whisker marks and slightly longer canine teeth are perfect to me. As for myself… well, I can't say I hate how I look, but I doubt anyone would think I'm attractive. But in this case, it's Naruto that counts, right?

After some time, I noticed just that: the time. Naruto and I, aside form my thoughts, had been keeping up a low-key conversation. At the moment, I hardly remember what it was about. But as I saw the sun get lower in the sky, I realized I had not much more time before the kitsune headed for home. Two hours, give or take.

Hesitantly, I stood from my desk. Naruto at first didn't notice; he was glancing over a magazine that he had been lightly reading while we talked. As I came a couple steps closer, he looked up at me, his head tilting upside-down over the arm of the armchair in my office. "Eh?" he asked.

"I'm done working. Would you like my explanation now?" I ask, inwardly bracing myself to 'pour my heart out' to him, as Temari said earlier this morning before she went to wrap up some things in town. She knew I was going to confess at the last moment; that's how sharp she is, and how well she knows me. Then again, she does live with me, no matter how distant I may act at times.

"Yeah! Tell me, 'ttebayo!" He leaps out of the chair and stands a meter or two in front of me. "I promise I won't laugh if it's something stupid," he adds.

"Believe me, you won't be laughing," I mutter. "And if you do, it'll most likely be because you think I'm joking."

"But you never joke, Gaara; why would I think you'd be joking? This obviously means something to you to tell me, because you've kept it to yourself until right now."

I smile. "You're smarter than you look," I tell him.

He frowns slightly in a confused way. "Wait, I take that back. You do joke sometimes."

I chuckle in a quiet, light way, different from when I had when Temari had hit him a few nights ago. I suppose it's my nerves; I felt a little like laughing, I was so jittery. Clearing my throat, I look down. "This might surprise you," I started, "But… it's the truth, got it?"

He nods, looking determined. "Tell me. I can take it."

"We'll see about that…" I say lowly, coming closer. My heart battled with my stomach, both trying to see which could make me feel more nervous. My heart won by beating faster than my stomach was fluttering. I suddenly comprehended what girls meant when they said, 'I get butterflies in my tummy when I'm near him'.

Naruto still waited, but seemed to lean back a tad, wondering why I was ebbing away at the space between us. In my mind, I told him: _You should be leaning away. This is the part where I go in for the kill._

And so I did. I closed the gap and laid my lips onto his, clutching the black sleeves of his jacket for support. _This is the part where I tell you…_ "Aishiteru," I murmur onto his lips, feeling his breath fall flat with shock. _… that I love you._

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

I hadn't seen it coming. One minute Gaara was meters away, then next he was in my face, and I felt something graze my lips before settling there, shy and unsure and soft and warm. A frighteningly sharp electric shock, like all the other times I touched Gaara, but much more static and tingly, went though my body. My thoughts felt incomplete like run-on sentences, but I could hardly think. I was frozen, and just as he pulled away from the kiss I heard him say something I've never heard directed at me before.

"Aishiteru."

I felt his breath pass my face at the word, and my own breathing stops. It felt so wrong and so foreign, that word, although the kiss wasn't foreign. A tiny voice in the back of my head said angrily, _'Great! Another fist kiss stolen by a guy!'_ I guessed vaguely it meant Sasuke as the other 'first', but that hardly counted. It was a complete accident, and I hated the foul taste it had left on my mouth all that day so many years ago (and I mean 'foul taste' both metaphorically and literally).

But this was different. It still wasn't Sakura or any other girl, but it didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth (both literally and metaphorically, again). Another tiny voice in my head said, _'This makes no sense. This is Gaara.'_ And not because Gaara is a guy (_which is wrong in itself,_ I thought) but because it was Gaara the **person**. The most unfortunate soul in probably the whole world when it came to love, the most unlucky heart out there.

And the way he tightened his grip on my sleeves, nearly scratching me with his nails through the fabric, I knew I was only about to make his luck worse.

He leaned in again, just as hesitant, but this kiss was different. It felt desperate and more passionate. Tender. My own lips were still unresponsive, frozen in place; I was refusing to kiss him back. But my body was active, and it began gently nudging the redhead away.

"Gaara…" I whispered as soon as my mouth was free. "I… I don't…"_ 'I don't like you that way. I'm straight.' Tell him that. Just say it._ "I'm…"_ 'straight'. Say it. 'I don't like boys'._ But the words never came. I saw a hurt expression on him then, worse than any physically hurt face I've seen him make. Worse than any insane or furious or dead expression he's ever given. It looked so torn up, almost tearful. _Fuck, now I'm going to make someone close to me cry._

His hands drop to his sides, slipping away from my arms. I smelled sandalwood and honey, with traces of dried blood emitting off him from being so close. He was still staring at my eyes, aqua lost inside of deep blue, wanting a response. Wanting me to say, 'I also love you'. But I couldn't; _wouldn't._

Those two kisses felt like they were hot glued to my lips and my memory, and paired with the look on my friend's face, I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the smell of sandalwood and honey and (vaguely) blood, couldn't take how much I've just hurt him without even saying anything, couldn't take that he loved me, was** in** love.

So I shunshinned away to his home, yanked on my bags, and ran out the door.

I should have never stayed these extra days in Sunakgakure. In one fateful moment, those days just cost me two kisses… and a broken heart that wasn't my own.

_Why did that have to be his reason? Why couldn't he have joked? I would really like to be laughing right about now. _But instead, oddly, I was crying. Not like before when I feared he might be dead, and not like before when he really was dead. I was crying because I hurt him in ways almost worse than death.


	13. Effortless Nightmares

**A/N: here's that next chapter i promised, and it's only 11:11 at night! whoa, weird, all ones. anyway, warning people, becuase this is an ANGST-FEST chapter. LoL! but you'll like the end. THANK GOD FOR SAKURA. seriously. she was a little annoying in the original Naruto serious, but in Shippuuden i absolutely love that girl. and you'll like her, too, at the end of this chapter. and in this you'll see how Tsunade learns about Naruto and Gaara, which is like foreshadowing as to how she'll play matchmaker. along with something Sakura asks in, like, the last couple sentences.**

* * *

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

I cursed at myself. I should have known better! I shouldn't have even touched him, let alone kiss him twice. I shouldn't have told him then, or maybe ever. I should have kept it inside and valued my time with him, forever in love and forever unhurt. I should have known that once I lay my heart on the line, the weight would be too much and the line would snap. I should have known I was going to be rejected.

And part of me had known; part of me had been weary, hesitant, afraid. Why had I ignored that part? Why did I still push forward and try with all my might to let him know how much I cared?

Because that's how he is.

That's right… I see now, that's why. Because Naruto is so determined, so strong, so passionate in what he does, that I felt obliged to do the same. He changed me, but maybe it was for the worse instead of the better. Because of him, I was left here in my office on my knees. He changed me before, and who knows, maybe he'll change me again. Change me back into the cold-hearted bastard I was, because I'll be too afraid to love and be rejected again.

Yet I couldn't see that happening. Naruto seemed to still have his magical hold on me. I felt vulnerable and weak, aching to the point where I was back in the habit of clutching my chest through my shirt, but I was still me. I was still the 'new' Gaara, still the only teenager to have been killed and brought back to live again. But after this… heartbreak… I don't think I should have lived again. I should have stayed dead, with a heart that was relaxed and loved by at least someone.

Someone… someone to need me, to have me. I have two 'someone's like that, but it's not the same; family is not the same as a lover. Two different loves, two different needs.

I thought long ago that I only needed to love myself. But I was so very, very deep in denial. I wanted my siblings to love me, my Village to at least not hate me, and for anyone to take me in their arms and kiss me, touch me, tell me they thought I was the opposite of a monster. I wanted it so badly that I hid behind my contorted logic until my head was bashed in and my logic was straightened. Yes, I remember that head-butt he gave me. Not the fondest memory of the blonde to visit, but it had helped me. To see how much he strived to protect everyone from me and Shukaku… it had helped me.

But now… now he just broke me. I felt like bleeding, like throwing up my heart in one giant sack of crimson so that the pain would just leave my body. Temari said she wanted Naruto to make me 'feel'. Well shit, Temari, I'm feeling something right now. But I doubt it's what you had intended.

But what hurt me wasn't his returned 'I love you' or the pushing away of my kiss; it was how he up and vanished. One minute he was right in front of me where I could reach out and stroke his cheek or grab his wrist to stop him from turning around, and the next minute he's gone up in smoke, literally.

I should have known better. Because if I had, I would have never let go of his sleeves, and he would have been stuck with me. I'd rather him be here and not loving me than far away and not loving me. At least with the first option I know he can always come back; at least with the first option I can raise my heart out of it's painful pit to see his face and hear him speak. At least then he wouldn't be kilometers away and possibly never coming back.

Suddenly, I felt furious with myself; furious for being so reckless and even more furious for acting this way. I was Kazekage! I was Sabaku No Gaara! I have no need for this sort of behavior. In fact, I detested it. I sounded very much like a suicide broken heart case. The latter was true, but I was not about to end the existence I just got back not but a week ago.

If I could handle a real-life demon, a personal one shouldn't be too hard to bear. And in this case I am most definitely calling my heartbreak a personal demon; I had bestowed in on myself, after all. It was entirely my fault that I felt this injury; I had been the one to love the kitsune, I had been the one to kiss him, and I had been the one who said 'aishiteru'. It was my fault; hence it is my own demon of an injury to bear. But I can handle it.

I just hoped my subconscious dreams could. But most of all, I hoped my eyelids could; for at this very moment, the tears I had been holding in dared to spill over.

* * *

It felt like only a few short hours before Naruto arrived in Konoha. It had in fact been 48 hours, which is two straight days, without rest or sleep in between. He arrived, exhausted body and all, only to collapse onto his neatly made bed right before the sun rose.

As he slept, terrifying dreams – ones of Gaara kissing him but turning to sand and blowing away with the wind – entered and exited his mind. He frowned, winced and mumbled in his sleep, tossing and turning. His sheets fell to the floor, and the blonde was left bare and cold on his mattress when he woke up at 6:00 in the evening. Around that time is when he awoke, showered and dressed, deciding to give Tsunade a visit.

Effortlessly, Naruto put on a smile as he came into the old hag's office. "Yo! I'm back," he said as brightly as he could.

"Good, because I was about to –!" but the large-breasted woman pauses, not fooled by the smile. "What's up with you?" she asks bluntly.

"What d'ya mean, Tsunade-baachan?" he replies, tying to sound like he meant it. He failed yet again.

Slowly, Tsunade tells him, "Well, I'm glad you're back… I even have a mission for you, but I'll let you rest a couple days before I send you on it. B-rank, so you should be satisfied. Although, before we talk about missions, I'd like you to explain to me what happened in Sunagakure. You have no poker face, Uzumaki." And neither did your mother or father, come to think of it. All the Uzumaki's can't bluff, it seems.

The teen sighed, not looking at his Hokage. "Do I have to tell you?" he whines, sounding like a child.

She smirks. "Yes, you do. Tell me everything. Think of it as… your mission's report."

Naruto blushes slightly. "Every…thing?!"

"Yup," the older woman nods. "In the meantime, I'll have Shizune bring up some ramen from Ichiraku up to the two of us. It's dinner hour, after all. I think I'll even partake in some sake. Want a little? You look like you could use it."

"Wha-?! Sake?! I'm not old enough to drink!"

"You're 15; I think that's old enough for one little shot-glass. What do you say?" The 'kage offered, leaning into her intertwined fingers as she smirked.

Naruto grumbled something about getting drunk, but nodded his head.

The blonde woman smiled. That's exactly what she wanted to hear; how else to get information out of someone other than to loosen their lips with a miniature amount of sake?

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

In the middle of the night, I woke up with a start, cold sweat dripping onto my pillow. What a weird, alarming dream I had. Thank God I don't remember it much.

I rubbed at my eyes, trying to get all the sleepy crust out of them. I glanced over at my clock near the picture of Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi and I. I still regret not being nicer to him that day; maybe if I hadn't been such an ass back then (the day of the picture and afterwards), he wouldn't have left…

Shaking those thoughts away, I looked back at the clock, because momentarily I forgot what time I saw. It read 12:47, and I realized it wasn't as late as I thought. But then again, I was still wiped out from coming home today, and that little sake run-in with Tsunade. I cam home at about 8:00, I think. Or 9:00. I forget. Either way, I've had a few hours for sleep, like a nap, and after a nightmare like that one I'll probably be up for a while.

The nightmare had been intense. And, like a previously disturbing dream I had when I came home early in the morning today, it involved Gaara.

Vaguely, I wondered what my friend the Kazekage was doing. I hoped he hadn't cried like I thought I saw him about to do right before I left. I also hoped he didn't… think too much about me. Whatever he's doing, I hope he's as close to happy as he can get. Although, something told me, whatever it is, he's doing it alone.

Just like I am right now.

But that's my own fault, now, isn't it? Not the alone-with-no-family thing; that isn't my fault. But worrying about Gaara and how alone he must feel. That's my fault. I wish he didn't… I wish he hadn't said that word. Or kissed me. Because then I wouldn't have to had hurt him; I never thought I could break someone's heart, reject someone's love. I always thought it'd be the other way around. Why, why did someone – and a boy if that – had to choose me? And why Gaara of all people? He's so helpless when it comes to this crap. The evidence is written clearly on his forehead, even if I have n idea why it's written there.

Shit, now I can never look at 'ai' again. It'll just remind me of this… mess. But does that mean I'm never going to look at Gaara again? Even if I had declined his offer (which is what that kiss was; it was an offer), he's still my friend. He's still precious to me, even if it's not in that way.

Although I doubt he'd want to be my friend after what I've done.

Grumbling at how depressing that sounds, I rolled over and tried to sleep again, despite how awake I felt. Because, you know what? Thinking is overrated, especially if you over-analyze things.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

A touch on the forehead (right where my scar is, above my left eye, I noticed) awoke me from the nightmare I'd been having. Groggily, I looked up into the darkness to see the moonlight silhouette my sister's hair, hanging down on her shoulders with her ponytails out. "Gaara?" she whispered in a worried tone. "You were… you were whimpering in your sleep, and you have a fever."

"I do?" I say faintly, running my hands through my hair. It felt damp with sweat.

"Did… did you have a nightmare?" Temari wants to know, sitting herself down on the edge of my bed with one knee brought up to her chest.

I wanted to lie and say no, but instead decided to tell the truth. "Hai."

She hesitates, acting a little unlike herself. Probably due to me waking her up from her beauty-sleep. "Want to talk to me about it?"

I shake my head. "Not now, onee-chan. Go back to sleep."

I watch in the dim light as her eyes grow wide. "When… when was the last time you called me that, I wonder? It's been a long time."

"It was a fluke," I lie. "I'm tired, so it slipped out."

She nodded as if that made perfect sense. "If you say so. But tell me about that dream in the morning, okay? They say if you tell someone about your nightmares, you won't get them again."

"Sure," I say with a fake yawn. "Now get out of here before I send my sand after you."

Either she was too tired to remember I couldn't do that anymore or she knew I was joking, I didn't know; but still she left, shutting my door silently behind her. She worried about me too much these days. Like after Naruto had left, she wanted to know how my confession went. I told her I didn't want to talk about it. She asked again a few more times. But when I didn't answer for two days straight, she stopped asking. She figured out the answer by then.

I didn't want to sleep after she shut that door. So, picking up old habits, I slip on some back clothes and headed for the roof. As soon as I was on top of the world (or at least Suna) I cast my eyes to the Heavens, laying my body down on rough sandstone.

When and how I had fallen asleep, I don't know; but I remember the dream. And it startled me awake only to clutch my chest and murmur a name. "Naruto."

* * *

Days grew into weeks that became a month, and in that month since leaving Suna, the Kyuubi boy had grown restless, guilty, and depressed. For any normal person, the depression would cause them to do things like: not talk to people, stay locked up in their rooms, slit their wrists, cry, eat more than usual, starve themselves, or get a meaningless hobby that made no sense (like constant exercise when they hate it normally, or collecting strange things).

Yes, any normal person would do any (or possible more than one) of the mope-y things above. But not this blonde knuckle-headed ninja.

No, this ninja was strong and refused to be in a depression, which is in fact the denial stage of said depression. And with his denial came an unusual chipper attitude that normally was much more subtly worn by Naruto as part of his personality. But it was much too happy, much too forced, and much too painful to look at. Because no matter what Sakura, Kakashi, or their new teammates Sai and Yamato-taichou did or said, the blonde remained oddly 'fine'.

Example…

"Naruto-kun," Yamato said slowly, "How about I treat the four of you to dinner?"

"That's so kind of you, 'ttebayo! But, actually, I'm content with just cooking something. You don't need to treat me. But don't hesitate to keep Sai and Sakura-chan in the deal! I bet it'd make them happy."

The point was to make him happy, as you can see. He was acting like everything was perfectly fine, now matter what the situation.

And this is, in fact, a form of depression. It's a heavy, forced state of denial that nothing can make you sad, when in actuality everything reminds you of something that makes you sad.

Example of Naruto's thoughts during Yamato's suggestion of dinner…

Temari and Kankurou treated us to dinner. In retrospect, Gaara had…Iiya, iiya! Shut up! I refuse to think about my extended stay in Suna. Nothing happened, nothing happened…!

A second point: when in a depression, we try our hardest to pretend nothing bothers us. We pretend that whatever made us depressed isn't real. This is, as you can guess, even more denial.

And sakura saw though it. One night, a day after the four of them came back form a mission, she confronted him. "That's it, Naruto! I'm sick of you acting like this!"

"S-Sakura…-chan…?"

"Don't 'Sakura-chan' me!" she shouts. "Tell me what happened in Sunagakure, Naruto, or I swear to Kami that I'll beat it out of you. You told Tsunade and she told me to wait for you to confess on your own, but I can't take it. Even Sai, master of emotion-manipulation, couldn't do what you've been doing for over a month now. No one is this happy, Naruto, not even you."

The blonde sighed heavily, and Sakura stared had at him.

When he still didn't say anything she cracked her neck but softened her tone. "I know it must've been bad, Naruto-kun," she coos, trying to butter him up. She comes closer, placing her hand on his shoulder. "But whatever happened, I'm sure you can tell me. I've known you most of my life, and you've been a very close friend ever since we joined team 7 all those years ago. So, please… tell me what's bothering you."

Cerulean blue eyes meet soft blue-tinted green as he looks up at her. She'll probably hit me for this, but… "Fine. I'll tell you. But it ain't going to be pretty."

So, aside from his buzzed, alcohol-induced rant with Tsunade the night he got back, he told the first person who wanted to know what had happened. He told her abut what fun he had, and how oddly at home the Kazekage mansion was. Naruto told her about falling asleep during the movie, and how weird Gaara acted after wards. He told Sakura about the ice cream and the ramen shop, about walking home and talking about the stars. When he got to the day he was supposed to leave, he pauses. "And then after an afternoon of talking to Gaara in his office, he asked if I wanted to know why he was acting weird around me lately… but when…"

Sakura blinks at him as he drifts off and looks away. She knew this is the exact scene where something happened that ripped him up inside. "Go on, Naruto." She coaxed.

"G-Gaara, he… he kissed me and said he was…" He gulped. "In love with me."

Silence.

Without laughing or raising her voice or hitting him, she asked, "Are you serious? What… what did you do after that?"

Naruto stood and stated pacing. "Nothing! I didn't kiss him back, I didn't say anything – although I tried to, the words didn't come – and I started to freak out when I saw his hurt face and smelled his scent since he was so close and the weird feeling of that kiss… so I, I… I ran."

Sakura frowned at him. "You just ran away? To where?"

"Here, of 'course. I went two days without stop or rest and crashed on my bed. I just ran."

Sakura stood, walked over to him, and smartly smacked his left cheek. "Ow! What the hell was that for, dattebayo?!" He added his phrase at the end like a whining child complaining that hit wasn't fair play.

"For running away, dumbass!" she barks. "If someone says 'aishiteru' to you, they mean business! You can't just run away because you're a little freaked out! What if I were to say that to you?" she flushed. "Would you run away from me? What if – Heaven forbid! – Sasuke said it? Or, more logically, Hinata? Would you run away from them?"

Naruto's face went into shock, his mouth open and eyes strained wide, threatening to shed tears. "N-no, I don't… I don't think so… Sasuke I might punch in the face and ask if he was insane, but Hinata or… you… I wouldn't. I wouldn't run," he repeats, hearing the truth in his words.

"Well then," the pink-haired girl says with forced calmness, "All you need to do now is two questions: Why did you run from Gaara if you wouldn't run from any other person? And: When is the Kazekage supposed to come to Konoha again?"


	14. Dead In The Water

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

"And this is supposed to help me… How?" I complain to Sakura, whom at the moment was taking me out for some 'shopping, conversation and lunch'.

She idly twirled the bag in her hands. "We have no missions for a while, so I'm going to help you figure out those two questions I asked you."

"Sure. Right. But what about all this shopping crap, eh? And when are we going to eat?"

She sent me a look. "The shopping needed to be done. And we'll eat soon, okay? I swear, you're worse than Ino to shop with (but in a different way, of 'course). Speaking of which… my mom wants fresh flowers to decorate with. Let's drop by the flower shop later."

I sigh and slack my shoulders, feeling stupid. Not just because I was shopping with a girl, either; but because I really didn't know how to answer her first question. As for the second, well, we could just bug the old hag about it. If anyone, another 'kage could tell us when Gaara would be coming to Konoha.

"Okay, so, I have a theory…" Sakura starts, her pace getting faster so that she can come in front of me and walk backwards. "And I need to ask you a question to prove it."

"Fine. Shoot," I offer, lacing my fingers behind my head. As we walked, she smiled, every so often looking behind her to see if she was going to walk into anything.

"Anou… there's this girl I know. She's kind of pretty, but she's a little shy when it comes to dating."

"Like Hinata?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Almost," Sakura says, thinking that over. "Almost like Hina-chan… only she's shy with love, not just boys. She's always afraid of getting hurt or losing someone close to her."

"Okay," I nod. "Where are you going with this?"

"I'm not done yet!" Sakura scolds playfully. "Because, see, this girl doesn't know how great she can be. She thinks she isn't quite good enough for this one boy she likes. But she's witty and quiet, and doesn't often show too much emotion, which always makes everyone wonder what she's thinking. She has aquamarine eyes a little bluer than mine, and bright red hair. She also has a tattoo, but it's her own little secret about something she did when she was silly and young. I only see her smile when she's around that boy she likes, even if the smile merely reaches her eyes and not her lips. She blushes easily, but only on contact, unlike Hinata (which I said because I knew you were going to bring her relation to this girl up again)."

I incline my head. "She sounds familiar."

Sakura smirks in that way I don't like, just like how she had before she told me to pay for dinner if I took her out. "That's because she is. You know her."

My eyebrows raise suggestively. "So where is she now?"_ I wouldn't mind re-meeting this girl…_

Sakura pouts. "That's just the problem. She's all the way in Suna."

My eyebrows come together. "Wait, Suna?! You don't mean… but you said 'she'…"

Her pout disappears and she gives me a congratulatory hit in the arm. "Now you're catching on! I was describing Gaara if he was a girl. You obviously looked interested in 'her'. And that was my theory: if Gaara had been born female, you probably would be in love with him like how he loves you. But because he's male, and only because he's male, you ran away."

I feel my face turn a few different colors, each shade meaning something different. For once in my life, I was rendered speechless. Or, at least, for a moment. "You've lost it, Sakura-chan!"

She giggles. "I had a feeling you'd react that way. But I'm serious, Naruto; I think you like everything about Gaara, but the one thing stopping you from loving him is that he just wasn't born with different private parts."

I smack her on the arm, barely hard enough to count as a slap. "I said it once, and I'll say it again: you've seriously lost it. That makes no sense."

"Oh, but I think it does…" she hints. "I think it's true, and you just don't want it to be. Really, Naruto, if Gaara was generally the same in every way, but he was a girl, would you like him?"

I scrub my scalp with my fingernails, feeling flustered. "I… I don't know! Yes? Maybe! I have no idea, 'ttebayo…" I sighed.

"Aha!" Sakura declared, stopping to point at me. "Theory confirmed!"

I grumbled lowly to myself, mostly about how crazy girls can be and how weird they are.

My pink-haired friend just laughed. "Okay, so now we know why you ran away. How about we visit Tsunade-sama tomorrow? I bet she'll have some news for us, relating to my second question."

"Whatever," I mumble, keeping my eyes low.

She bends down, hair in her face, as she glances up at my hidden face. "Come on , Naruto, don't be that way. I'm just trying to help. And you know it's true; you care a lot about Gaara, and I think you could care a little more but just don't realize it."

I lift my head and she does the same. For a second we just stare at each other, both of us waiting for my reply. I even waited, and when the words came, they sounded thick and unsure. "But liking a guy seems so… wrong. And not me."

Sakura-chan sighs. "Only because you were trained by Jiraiya-sama to think that way. In my opinion, Naruto, everyone should be able to love who they want, even if that 'someone' is the same gender. Personally, I'm still not over Sasuke, so I can't see myself liking anyone else. Not even a girl, although I bet a girl would be kinder to me," she adds, almost resentfully. "Point is, if you already are his friend and understand him, what's taking one more step to – flat out – feeling affection for him?"

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

Vaguely, I wondered to myself if I should ever see my blonde friend again. I also wondered what my love had been thinking the moment he shunshinned away, or what he had thought after doing so. I thought about these things from day to day, the ideas popping in and out of my mind at random.

In the meeting room, the quiet of my thoughts and the murmuring of the council was broken as I violently sneeze. Baki, my old sensei, looks over at me with a trace of concern. "I hope you're not working yourself into sickness, Kazekage-sama."

I gently rub my nose with one finger. "I doubt it."

"Perhaps some lovely lady was talking about him!" one of the younger of the council members chuckle.

"Sure," Baki grins. "Maybe even more than one girl."

Inside I feel like grinning, but only my eyes smile. I wondered offhandedly if one of those 'girls' is the other Jinchuuriki.

"Anyway," an older member of the council said after clearing his throat, "Let's wrap up this meeting with a date: when should we head over to Konohagakure for these treaty edit papers? We need to make a better, stronger deal with them, and we had better do it soon unless we want another catastrophe on our hands; er, no offense Kazekage-sama… we know your kidnapping wasn't your fault."

I simply nod, motioning that I didn't take any offense.

A few of the other men also nod in agreement with the older one who had spoken. They turn to too me in the eye. "When should we go, Kazekage-sama? It's your call, since you'd have to come along."

They watch – and Baki notices most – as my face twists slightly, mostly out of remembering Naruto and that painful moment. I swallow hard, and then say calmly, "Not for a while, I suppose. The Hokage Tsunade has a lot to deal with, what with the Akatsuki on the loose and one of her top ninjas with her fellow Sannin, Orochimaru. So perhaps… between nine and twelve weeks from now?"

"But Kazekage-sama… that's about two or three months. Are you sure that long of a wait is necessary?"

I look down at my hands in my lap. _No, it's certainly not necessary. We should probably head out within the next five weeks, but how can I stand going to the source of my heartbreak when it's been a hair over a month after it happened?_ "I suppose you're right. Make it for six weeks, then."

Some of the council sigh and accept that decision while others look skeptically at me. But before long they're jotting down the date on a messenger bird's scroll so that it could be sent out the next morning to warn Konoha of our arrival.

* * *

If Gaara could listen to modern English music, then a song he might play for the way he feels at this very moment would be 'Dead in the Water' by Hawthorne Heights. Because, whether he realized it or not, his actions were basically the lyrics in motion.

**'I never thought you'd see me this way; you are the worst, and I am to blame…'**

He curled into an incomplete ball, hugging a pillow to himself. It was late at night by now, and he was oh so ready to sleep. Why, even after a month and a half, it still hurt he had no idea. But the memory, it seems, of Naruto's unresponsive lips and the way he pushed Gaara away and vanished, was still in effect. And the fact that he had tried to say something… _'Gaara, I… I don't…'_

"Don't what?" the redhead muttered a little irritably. "Don't love me, right? Was that what you were going to say? 'I don't love you'? 'I don't feel the same'? 'I don't like you that way'? It all means the same. And it all hurts the same."

**'Turn on a song that means the most; believe I'm there, and hold me close.'**

Feeling foolish but needy, Gaara slipped his extra pillow he had been holding to behind his back, as if it were a body laying beside him that he couldn't see, but felt. With a pathetic sigh he brought the sheets up to his chest and closed his bruised eyes, which even after weeks now still looked like he had never slept.

**'She's in my bloodstream, and tonight she's draining me; the room is filled with reds and blues; I follow as she leads into the darkness, drying out my veins… she's a ghost, a silhouette, calling out my name.'**

Replace 'she' for 'he' and you generally have the picture of Gaara first love and loss.

Because, at that moment, kilometers away, Naruto was dreaming. And because of what Sakura had been talking to him about recently, his subconscious plagued his dreams with waves of images, most of them relating to his red-haired friend. One or two were rather humorous, involving Gaara as a girl. He noticed that, even in his strange dreams, Gaara hardly looked different when turned feminine. Sure, what your brain concocts in slumber is hardly ever correct, but the way she looked… her hair was slightly longer than the male Gaara's, tied in a loose, low braid. Her eyes had thin, small lashes and her cheeks were in a permanent flush, and his chest size was definitely in the B-cup range, but other than those changes, she looked like the Gaara that Naruto knew.

Other dreams during that night, however, weren't as humorous or appealing to look at. Some involved Shukaku dragging Gaara's soul and life-force along with him as the Akatsuki drained Gaara dry of his demon. Even though he had not seen his friend's death, and even though it's been about two months since he died, Naruto still would find himself thinking about or dreaming of what might have happened, or what could have happened. And every time he had one of those dreams, he'd wake up crying softly, and saying the other by's name.

"Gaara…"

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

"So, what was it you wanted to know again?" Tsunade asks with a lick of her finger so that's she can turn the page of some top secret ANBU book we weren't allowed to see.

I roll my eyes. "Sakura-chan and I wanted to know when the Kazekage was coming to Konoha next."

"Oh, so that was it? Well, we got a message by wing –" That was Tsunade-baachan's way of saying she got some scroll form a bird. "– Just this morning. They're suppose to come in six weeks from yesterday."

Sakura grins broadly, but I sink into the floor slightly. "That long?"

The 'kage's brown eyes glance up at me with a smug look to them. "Any particular reason as to why you wanted to know?"

"Uh…" I stutter. "N-no reason. I was just… you know… curious. Gaara's still my friend, after all."

"Naturally," she nods, the blue diamond on her forehead seeming to wink at me. I wanted to scratch it off, whatever that thing was. Nonchalantly, the old hag asked, "Do you still have that necklace I gave you?"

"Huh?" I say. "Oh, yeah. See?" I yank down the zipper of my jacket low enough to show a little mesh and reach my hand into it to grasp the crystal the color of my eyes.

"Good. You wear it all the time, right?" she asks.

"Yeah, I have to. Yamato-taichou says it's important; some kind of key to controlling the Kyuubi or something. 'A luck charm' he jokes." I shrug, and beside me I catch Sakura-chan eyeing my necklace. I return her gaze and slip it off, handing it to her. I know she never got a good look at it before. While she studies the silver and blue that makes up the pendant, I look hard at Tsunade-baachan. "Why'd you ask, anyway?"

She shrugs. "No reason, really. Just wondering. It was mine not too long ago, so I have every right to ask about it."

"Yeah yeah yeah," I said, pushing it aside with a hand. "But about the Kazekage coming… who will be with him?"

"The letter just said a few of the needed council members to establish with us the full treaty agreements." The blonde woman informed him. "Not, how about you and Sakura get your rumps out of here and leave me be? I have these files to go through," she said, patting the book she had been leafing through earlier.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama," Sakura says with a faint smile. Then she was dragging me away, out the door of the Hokage office and down into the streets of the Leaf Village.

* * *

To Naruto, six weeks felt like much too long. Just what he hell was he supposed to do for a month and a half?

But his question was answered within days, because there was another mission to do that would take about 2 to 3 weeks to complete. Something about intercepting a meeting with a spy from the Akatsuki.

But on that mission with Yamato, Sakura and Sai, Naruto had seen Orochimaru and nearly lost it. Four tails spouted from the red cloak of the Kyuubi, the force of it beginning to sharpen and lengthen his canine teeth and tear away at his top layer of skin, blood mixing with the fiery chakra and the blonde went into a full rage.

Tsunade must have known something like this would happen; she had specifically asked that he wear the necklace. And it was with that Yamato pried Naruto form his mini-infusion with the fox demon, just long enough to get the boy unconscious but safe.

But he had done so much damage.

As Sakura healed his raw outer flesh, her arm stung where Naruto had accidentally scratched her without being aware it was his own claws. Yamato sympathized with the way Sakura felt when she didn't blame him for hurting her. The poison of the Kyuubi's chakra was hard on her, but it hardly mattered as long as her friend was safe. She knew that if she didn't suck up the sting and heal him, Gaara would never forgive her, and probably neither would Iruka-sensei or Tsunade. Or even Sasuke, if he still cared.

Speaking of which, Yamato informed them that this mission was not over yet; they had to follow Sai, who was seemingly joining Orochimaru and Kabuto. As Naruto woke up, they readied themselves to head on out.

It took them a while, tracking and resting their wounded bodies and avoiding traps, but finally they came to somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, a place apparently Orochimaru's hideout, just under the ground.

"Great," Sakura murmured to herself. "Just what we need: another obstacle."

"But just think," the captain of their group said, "Your friend Sasuke-kun might be in there somewhere."

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura echoed, forgetting her doubts.

Naruto looked determined. "There's no 'maybe' about it. I can sense his chakra."

"You… can?" Sakura said, surprised. She looked over her shoulder at him.

Naruto winked. "It's one of the many benefactors of having a kitsune demon inside of you; it's nose can smell certain chakras, and since Sasuke is my friend, it recognizes his."

"That's amazing," Sakura murmurs.

_If not frightening,_ Yamato-taichou thinks.

And with binding Kabuto and setting a clone of Yamato to watch him, the three went inside the underground building…

…But what they found there was permanently etched into the teen's minds.

A livid, shocked voice rang out. "**Sassuuukeeeee**!!"


	15. What The Demon Had To Say

**A/N: if, after reading the beginning you're wondering whether or not i support the whole KyuubiXNaruto thing, i'd say yes to a degree. i don't support it romantically or anything, but i do support the sort of father-fox and kit relationship. like... Naruto is his sort of fox-son, haha. i do support that sort of thing. and yes, i took that tiny threat Kyuubi gave to Sasuke in the real Shippuuden and exaggerated it a bit to suit my needs. you can call it a sort of... Sasuke-hate-induced threat. and i basically made Sasuke use his Sharingan to point of exhaustion; that's a form a torture, you know. so yeah, this chapter techinically has Sasuke-torture. **

**FECK YEAH, I HAVE ABOUT 1240 HITS. i lurve you guiz. -hearts-**

* * *

He was utterly stationary. He hardly noticed as Sasuke appeared beside him, about to pierce his side with a long unsheathed sword. Someone stopped the raven-haired boy, and for a moment Naruto forgets everything but the sound of the Uchiha's voice, once again in his ear after nearly three years. He felt like wincing away, like dissolving any part of him that Sasuke laid a hand on. He felt suddenly repulsed, disgusted, by his own friend; someone he once called 'brother'.

"Our bond was never really there to begin with," he hissed in the blonde's ear. "Out of my own will I let you live that day. And now, out of my own will, I shall kill you."

But he had been stopped, and for that Naruto was grateful. Because if he let himself die, what would Gaara do? The kitsune shuttered to think of what that could mean for the redhead.

Even after being pushed aside, and a miniature battle raged, Naruto was forced into himself, staring innocently up at the cage within him. A deep, sleek voice just as fox-like as the demon itself was heard, echoing off the walls of Naruto's inner mind. The water he stood upon began to boil, steamy orange bubble taking a smoky shape resembling the Kyuubi.

"I see you're here again, Naru-to," the beast's bubbly representation purrs, drowning out the sound of boiling water with it's voice. He took Naruto's name a dragged it out into two syllables fondly, as if speaking to it's kit. "Did you come to borrow more chakra? I'll gladly give it to you if you break that seal on my door."

The blonde boy said nothing, just stared as if in a daze at the creature's eyes.

Have you ever wondered what it felt like to have someone peer into your soul through your eyes? Some people say that happens when you find the right lover. But have you ever wondered what it was like to have someone stare into your mind through that same opening? Right down through your pupils and into your head, seeing whatever it is you don't want others to see.

That's what Sasuke did just then. From the outside, all you saw were Sharingan eyes staring coldly at bright, warm blur orbs. But in reality, Sasuke was standing suddenly next to the blonde, seeing the Kyuubi the same way Naruto could. "So this is it, eh? This is the bakemono inside of you. How disgusting."

"And this is the Uchiha that supposedly was your friend. He's disgusting," Kyuubi scoffs. "I like that Sakura girl better. She has more guts than this runaway wimp."

Sasuke seems unfazed by the fox's words, and he reaches out a hand. "Pathetic," he murmurs, and pops the bubbles that make up the nose, and soon all the rest follow. Soon the room is clear except for the cage. Through it's metallic bars a grin is seen, so sharp and toothy that even the Cheshire Cat would be proud.

"I am not unfamiliar with the Sharingan at any level. Obviously this friend of yours, Naruto, is talented to get skilled enough to see me through your eyes."

Said blonde cocks his head, turning to look at Sasuke as if he just realized he was there. "Sasuke…" he whispers dully. "We've been looking for you."

The raven-haired boy chuckles with a sinister tone. "And your search was in vain. I won't rest until my older brother is dead."

"You mean Itachi?" Kyuubi smirks. "I'm met him through Naruto's experiences. He's a demon that puts me to shame. I may have wreaked havoc on a Village, but that boy slaughtered his own kin. I could never do that."

The two boys stare at the bars, listening to what the fox had to say. Naruto nearly smiles, because he respected what the kitsune had said.

"No, my brother puts demons in their place. You seem so much smaller when you're stuck in a human's body that I am unafraid. You put your own kind to shame for how weak you are." Sasuke replies.

This had turned into what seems to be a battle of words between the Kyuubi and Sasuke, with Naruto stuck in the middle.

A throaty laugh is heard, something so hearty it shakes the walls within Naruto's mind. "Say what you will, but I have a feeling you're the weak one; even now you're struggling to stay here, to speak to me. I think your time is about out, in fact. So before you go, I have something to say to you…"

Sasuke waited, and Naruto stared at his old friend's profile as he continued to look the demon in the eyes.

A claw reached through the bars of the cage, and it was so massive that it could decapitate the Uchiha with a flick of the wrist. While pointing, Kyuubi threatened: "I swear on my immortality that if you ever kill him," he nods to the silent blonde, "That you will live to regret it, Sasuke. I will personally make sure you suffer a worse death than the one you would have inflicted on Naru-to."

"Doushite?" Sasuke mutters. "What does it mean to you if I were to kill him? He's your vessel, something you're trapped inside of. You have hardly any power because of him. What does it matter to you if I end his life?"

"Because," the kitsune says slowly, leaning to the front of the cage. If he had wanted to, Naruto could reach through and touch his coarse russet-orange fur. "He's grown on me a little; you might call him my kin with the number of times he's used my chakra and gained my traits. If anything ever happened to my kit, I'd mangle the soul who'd have done it."

And with that Sasuke looked away from Naruto's eyes and left his mind, turning off his Sharingan with a deep, closed-eyed breath. He pinched the bridge of his nose, mentally kicking himself for being as stupid as to exhaust himself so much from using that much of the Sharingan. With a slight headache, the raven-haired teen leapt back up to the top of the hole he had made not but moments ago.

The blonde slowly came to, fading out of his daze. The only thing he could think was how wrong he was about Sasuke. _He's different now; powerful but wanting more. He's greedy for jutsus, hungry for revenge, and has grown distant and cold. He's not my friend anymore; at least, not the friend I once knew. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…I want my real friends back. I want the people who do care about me, the people who never left me._

He looks over at Sakura, and thinks of everyone at home: Lee, Neji, TenTen, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, and Shino. Then there were all the teachers: Iruka, Kakashi, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, and all the others. Even Tsunade, Jiraiya and Shizune cared. In a sense, all those people were there for Naruto, a sort of dysfunctional Leaf Village family. And that was just Konoha; in Sunagakure he had three other acquaintances: Temari, Kankurou and… Gaara.

_Gaara…_ The blonde thought as he watched Kabuto, Orochimaru and Sasuke shunshin away in a brilliant barrage of flames.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

Kakashi-sensei wanted to teach me some kind of new technique. I was all for it, but I told him to let me rest an extra day or two. After what had happened when we found – and once again lost – Sasuke, my head was left reeling. Not to mention my body seemed to be aching all over. It felt like his Sharingan had done more than just peer into my head; but I know that's all it did. I guess I'm just still tired from entering such a deep state of my demon fox mode. And I felt sick with guilt for having hurt Sakura. Why did I always seem to hut the people I care about? First Gaara, then Sakura.… who was next? Who would be hurt by me in the future? I hoped, from the bottom on my heart, that no one would, not ever again. Physically or otherwise. Because personally, I don't think I could take it.

That aside, I slipped my hands under the covers and pulled, bringing the sheets up around my shoulders and under my chin. I felt oddly cold, and so very sleepy. I also felt a little lonely, but who doesn't late at night? When things get quiet, you always feel lonely.

Although, technically, I was never alone; I had a demon, a living spirit, within me. Vaguely, I remember closing my eyes. But it was all too soon before I was dreaming, speaking to said kitsune.

"Saying hello to me in a dream, are you, Naru-to?" he purrs, smiling at me through the cage. I walk through the water, watching the pipes on the walls of my mind leak and drip, making rings ripple around their landing point.

"Hai," I murmur, coming closer still. I lay my hand on the bars, and they feel like air. No sense of hot or cold, so sense of a durable or fragile nature. They were simply there, set by some kind of seal aside form the one taping the cage doors shut.

"Is it because of what happened yesterday? When the Uchiha intruded?" Kyuubi asks me.

"Hai," I say again. Whenever I'm here, it feels like I can never say much. It feels almost as if I'm a ghost of myself.

"You're normally so chatty around your friends, kit. Why so tight-lipped?" he says slyly, staring hard at me with his blood-red eyes.

"I don't understand something," I confess to him. Talk about 'conversing with your inner demons'. The figure of speech seemed all too real to me in this instant.

"As long as you're dreaming, I have all the time to answer. Where else am I supposed to go?" the animal heckles, clearing showing that he hated the situation. In the shadows of his cage, I see him sit down on all fours before lying against the bars, a tail or two peaking out. He closes his eyes, as if about to sleep. "Tell me all about it."

I nod my head and sit in the water at my feet, and it feels warm like a liquid river of chakra, but it was not wet. "I don't understand relationships. I thought I did, but now everything confuses me. I thought Sasuke was my friend, but maybe he never was. I thought I liked Sakura, but maybe it was something entirely different that I felt. I thought Gaara and I would always be wordlessly bound, best friends for simply knowing the pain of being shunned because of our demons. Not that I mind you," I add distantly. "But others do. Anyhow, I feel confused now even about Gaara. And then, I don't understand how some I keep injuring people without meaning to."

In his peaceful (yet still scary) face, I see a twitch of an eyebrow muscle, showing that he was thinking. "Part of the injury is my fault," he says slowly, his voice so big and rich that it shook the water beneath me. "I don't apologize for it, though; it's my nature, as you know, Naru-to. But as far as relationships go… those I hardly understand myself. A demon lives to long that it cannot keep or remember half the bonds it makes. Take for instance the nine of us: we were once one large pack, each of us with mates and spawn. But as humans came to be, there was less room for us, and more hunting. They feared us, and wished to kill every last one. For nearly 800 years now, the only other demon I've seen was Ichibi, the single-tailed Shukaku. He's my opposite, as you know; I was at one end of the scale, the ninth tail, whereas he stood at the other end, the first tail. He's much older than I, and much more reckless."

He still appeared asleep while he spoke, and his slightly creepy voice filled the air around me, suffocating me with his hot breath. Even in this dream, I could feel the gusts of air emitting from his nostrils. Strangely, he hardly needed to move his lips or jaw while he talked to me. Distantly, I crawled closer, feeling younger than I was. "So you can't relate to my situation, can you?"

"Iiya," he sighs, a tired tone in his immense voice. "But being inside of different humans throughout the years has helped me to understand human nature. It's similar to us demons back when we were a family, as a matter of fact. With that, I can this much: your relationships will always change, no matter who that relationship is with. Nothing is solid, kit, remember that. But as for this Gaara… he used to have Shukaku, did he not?"

An eye peaks open lazily, and I nod.

"Well, then I'd say you shouldn't have to worry about him. After all, I've seen how you two act together; it's quite refreshing compared to the usual. He's obviously devoted to you; don't forget that I was there he did what he had. If he were female, that Gaara would make a good mate."

"A… mate?" I ask with a slight frown.

"Sure. But damn, I'd hate to see those kits," Kyuubi chuckles. "They'd make me think too much of… er, my past. Now then, Naru-to, if that's all you have to say, I'd like to sleep. And you can go and have your usual dreams."

I nod to the demon and stand, but I can hardly feel my legs move. "Arigato, Kyuubi."

"No need to thank me; all I did was listen. Besides, it isn't usual or a vessel to thank the evil creature that resides in it."

I smile. "You're hardly as evil as you make yourself out to be," I tell him.

His eye peaks open again. "Then you are forgetful; do you not remember that it was I who killed your Iruka-sensei's parents? Or that it was I who destroyed half your Village, or I who was the reason for your father's death?"

"My father?" I say in a daze. "What about my father?"

Both eyes opened and he lifted his head from his front paws, a few tails of his nine shifting positions. "You mean they never told you? Poor, poor, naïve kit."

I frown at him. "What do you mean, Kyuubi?"

"Dear Naru-to," he purrs, leaning into the bars with a wicked grin. "It was your father that gave his life to seal me within you; it was the Yondaime Hokage, Minato."

My mouth fell slack and I woke up. Surely he was lying. Tsunade-baachan – or hell, even Jiraiya – would know that and would've told me. Even Kakashi would know; he was a student under the Yondaime Hokage! Any of them would have known, so why wouldn't they have told me?

Because Kyuubi was lying. That had to be it. He liked to do that to me from time to time.

"Heh," I forcefully laugh. "Good one Kyuubi, you almost had me there."

But a small image came to mind, one I hardly noticed. It was a picture frame above Kakashi-sensei's bed, a picture of his own team as a child. He had even names them for me: _'That's Namikaze-sensei, but you know him as the Fourth. Over there is Obito, one of my best friends as a child. That's me, and that girl there is Rin…'_

But looking back on it, his sensei had the same hair color I did, and nearly the same eyes; the color was right, but mine seemed a hint lighter and were a different shape. More than likely my mother's shape, although I have no idea what she looks like. All these years my parents history never really mattered; I was fine with just having Iruka-sensei and later Tsunade. And the fact that Jiraiya had been teaching me to summon toads and use Rasengan like the 4th never seemed to matter much, either. So why were Kyuubi's words echoing in my mind? Why did this feel so important to me out of nowhere?

And why, suddenly, did I have the urge to tell Sakura and Gaara about this information?


	16. You Have Got To Stop Doing That

**A/N: I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND I HAD 6 E-MAILS IN MY INBOX, ALL OF WHICH REVIEWS FOR THIS STORY. i... i think i love you guiz even moar nao. -hugs- (and i have 1360 hits! yayz!)**

**ya know, this fic has a lot of spoilers, and i hope you all don't mind them. like they did find Sasuke and one or two thinga i talked about when they found him is truem although not all of it. Naruto finding out about his dad... eventually something happens and we as readers find out, but personally i don't read the manga and only know vauge stuff becuase of my mangareading friends on deviantART and the descriptions on wikipedia. but anyway, i'm just saying... if you're uncormfortable with these slight spoilers, then i don't mind if you stop reading. but keep in mind that a lot of it is imagination as well, and not entirely part of the show in everything i say. **

**with that said, here's the next chapter! AND IT'S MY LONGEST YET, FTW. **

* * *

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

I decided not to mention to anyone about what Kyuubi had said. First of all, I doubted that they knew I could even speak to him, let alone hold full conversations or dreams with my demon. Secondly, I wasn't ready to share with anyone my ancestry. I may tell Sakura or Gaara later on (him especially since I know his own father had been the one to suggest using his son as the Jinchuuriki), but for now it was my own little secret. If Jiraiya and Tsunade and Kakashi could keep me from knowing, then I can keep them from knowing that I knew.

Speaking of Kakashi-sensei, training with him had a lot of explanations involved. A lot of talk about what clones experience coming back to you after they disappear, along with their exhaustion. Talk about different elements for different people's chakra, and having to slice a leaf in half using nothing but my own chakra as a weapon. There was even advice and paying for barbeque involved when it came to chatting with Asuma-sensei, since h was of the wind element like I discovered I was. But I suppose that makes sense; Rasengan was almost windy, so why shouldn't I be of the wind element?

"You have to keep it compacted and sharp; think of your chakra as a blade like the one in my hand. Shape it like a triangle, with edges and a point, and then… release it." He smoke told one of me, throwing a blade through a thick tree and into a boulder behind it.

"Wow!" my shadow clone said excitedly. "That's amazing! I can't wait until I'm good enough to do something like _that_!"

"Technically, I was holding back. It could have went on through that rock and into one or two threes behind it, but never mind that. With practice, you will be able to do exactly that." He smirked. "But you won't get anywhere close unless you get back to your training."

"Hai!" and my clone made it self disappear, and suddenly all of the me's on the training ground looked alert as we gained this information.

"So that's how to do it!" we said in unison, and the real me grins. _Piece of cake._

Pretty soon, I found my leaf sliced clean in two. "YATTA!" I cheered, my clones disappearing. "I knew I would get it, datt–"

But as my clones' exhaustion from extreme chakra use hit me, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I felt myself falling, the blackness rushing up to meet my face.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

"We go to Konoha in a few days; you up for it, Gaa-nii?" Temari asked me 4 days before some of the council members, my siblings and I were destined for the Leaf Village.

I send her a hard look, one that only told my thoughts through my eyes. It plainly said, 'no I am not, so don't ask again'.

She sighed, looking over at Kankurou for assistance. He returned to gaze and said flatly: "Leave the kid alone, Temari. He has a lot on his mind about this trip; I don't know why, but you seem to so I won't ask. I can tell when the situation is a bad one, even for someone like Gaara."

"Thank you, Kankurou," I mutter to him emotionlessly as I stand up and head for my bedroom.

"Er, you're welcome…?" my older brother says in a confused tone. He probably had no idea what I had thanked him for. No matter. It was hardly a big deal; I as simply thanking him for getting Temari off my case.

In the safety of my room, I began to puzzle over what I would do or say if I saw Naruto. Mind you, I know that there was a possibility he could be out on a mission or purposely avoiding me, because he more than likely knew I was coming in a few days. News like that spread quickly, no matter what Village you live in.

But if the blonde was there or not avoiding me, I wanted to have something so say. One choice, a darker of my choices and part of my old personality rising to the surface, suggested that I hit him for leaving me like that. It suggested that I yell and force him to love me, which I do know is impossible. You cannot **make** someone love you; they have to come to do it on their own accord.

Another choice of mine was to lay low and hope he comes to me, so that I can act somewhat surprised. It was a suggestion that meant he'd have to apologize or something of that nature, but I knew this was an unpromising hope to have. It really wasn't much of a choice, either.

One idea I had was to ask that he still be my friend at the very least. To tell him that he didn't have to feel the same way as long as he would still stay by my side and spend time with me, even if I would remain silent and deserved half the time.

But that in itself sounded terribly cliché and possibly overused in similar situations.

So I was left with my final possibility, the choice I decided I'd make: If I saw him again, I wouldn't speak a word unless he spoke first, and when he did speak I would react as little as possible. I might come off as cold by that, but that way I would be ready for anything that came my way. I couldn't be hurt again. It was like having my sand armor back, but with different reasons for defense.

I nodded to myself, realizing this was the way to go. After all, had I not acted the same way to just about everyone before my death? Wasn't I always silent and thoughtful, always straight-faced and braced for anything that came my way? It may be a pathetic shell to hide in, but it was all I had as 'Gaara'.

* * *

**-In Konoha-**

Naruto paced his bedroom wildly, every so often stopping to answer whatever it was Sakura was saying to him.

Pace, pace, pace.

"Good thing Kakashi-sensei was there to catch you before you hit the ground…"

Pause. "Yeah, I'll have to thank him later."

Pace, pace.

"You know, Sai drew this really good picture of you training. I asked him if I could have it when he was done coloring it…"

Pause. "Cool. I want to see it when you get it."

Pace…

Sakura sighed. "You know, Naruto, your feet might just burn off from the friction if you keep pacing around like that."

Pause. "I know… it's just that…" Sigh. "Gaara's coming in a few days."

"And you're only remembering that now?" she giggles, her greenish eyes practically mocking him.

"Hai, I just now remembered. Kuso, Sakura-chan, what the hell am I supposed to to say to him? 'Oh, hey, about me running out on you like that… Sorry, I didn't mean it, and I hope we can still be friends?'" The blonde imitates Gaara's expected response, which in his mime act was an immediate stranglehold around his neck.

"Come on, Naruto, he wouldn't _choke_ you," the pink-haired nin says with a roll of her eyes.

"You're right… but I still don't know what to say to the guy," Naruto grumbles, seating himself down on the bed beside his friend. He runs a hand through his yellow spikes, his head protector having been taken off by Kakashi hours ago so that he could sleep comfortably.

With a shrug, Sakura replies, "Just tell him the truth."

"I don't even know what the truth is anymore, dattebayo. And it's so complicated…"

"Doushite?" his friend inquires, her brow puckering slightly. "Because he's in love with you? That doesn't complicate things; it actually makes them easier. It means he'll listen to whatever you have to say. To be honest, Naruto, I don't blame him; he has every reason to like someone like you."

The blonde looks over at her, his face in that expression he uses when he's both flattered and confused and wanting someone to elaborate.

Sakura flushes slightly. "Don't take this too seriously, but because of how you are, he has every right to feel the way he does. I mean, sure you're a little dense sometimes, but if given the chance you can be really smart. Whether you realize it or not, you always know just what to say to inspire and change people. Your determination and caring heart seem to help, too," she adds, smiling sincerely. "That, and you aren't bad-looking at all…"

Naruto rubs the back of his neck and grins the way he does when he doesn't know how to respond. "Jeez, Sakura-chan, way to make someone embarrassed."

Said girl winks. "You liked hearing it (especially form me) and you know it. But I'm being totally realistic in this situation, got it? I wouldn't make this stuff up. Friends tell friends what they think, and that's exactly what I'm doing."

"You know, you keep acting like you want me and Gaara to get together in… that way."

"Maybe I kinda do," Sakura grins. "Maybe I think you'd be good for each other. Maybe I think he needs you."

"For what?" Naruto murmurs, looking down at his floor. He noticed some trash in the corner that missed the garbage can.

"He just needs you," she says simply, standing up. "And I think, somewhere deep down, you need him, too."

And with that she exited his apartment, leaving Naruto to mull that over in that goofy brain of his.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

The day of departure came much too soon for me. And arriving in the Leaf came even sooner, if that was possible. I sunk into the bed of my hotel room with a frustrated sigh, and a knock reached my ears. "Enter," I said tonelessly, not caring who the visitor is.

"Hey bro," Kankurou says lightly. "Big meeting tomorrow…"

I nod.

"…And it's semi-important, what with all the finishing treaty arrangements that need ot be done…"

Again, I nod.

"…You'll probably have to do more than just nod at those meetings, you know," he scolds, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Without meaning to, I sigh out my nose. "I'm aware of that."

"Then do you mind saying a little more to me, too?"

"Nope," I mutter, turning onto my side away from him. "Not then, Kankurou, do you mind taking your leave? I need to rest." It was of good an excuse as any, really.

The brunette sighs. "Alright, fine, I'm going. But shouldn't you eat first?"

"I'm not hungry," I tell him. "Just tired. It was a long trip."

"It always is," I hear him say under his breath. Louder, he remarks, "Temari and I are in the rooms on either side of you if you need us. See you tomorrow, Gaara." And with that he closed the wooden door with a sharp thud.

In the morning, I oddly felt rested, but the feeling didn't last. As the morning turned into noon and after, I grew impatient and agitated. I didn't show it, of 'course; it took all I had to keep my calm voice and eyes steady, but every so often I caught myself biting the inside of my lip with my front teeth. For a moment during the end of the first meeting, Hokage Tsunade-sama's brown eyes connected with my turquoise ones, and she smirked like she knew something I didn't. I didn't like that smirk one bit, and I failed to conceal the small frown that grazed my face.

Right as some of the council members began to stand and file out of the room, the first of our 4 meetings (one per day) over with, the blonde woman barked out a same. "Shizune!"

A younger girl with dark hair cropped around her face entered the room, and the way she moved showed she was both fond and afraid of the woman who had beckoned to her. I sensed a friendly relationship there, which is something I normally don't noticed about people. "Hai, Tsunade-sama?"

"Fetch Naruto for me. I have a… _mission_ for him."

"Hai!" Shizune replied, and by this time the three of us were the only ones in the room. But soon it was only the two 'kages left, Tsunade and myself.

I began to stand, but Tsunade motioned with a painted finger for me to stay. "Don't go quite yet, Kazekage Gaara-sama; part of Naruto's mission is to escort you."

Something flickered in her eyes, and I didn't like it. Calmly, I asked, "What do you mean?"

She grins complacently, still seeming to know something I did not. "You're his friend, ne? Well, I thought maybe the two of you wouldn't mind it if I made Naruto your tour guide while you stayed here. You know, so that you don't get lost or are stuck without protection. Think of him as your bodyguard," he said, and there was a undertone in her voice when she said 'bodyguard' that made a paranoid thought come to my mind: _what if she knows?_

After approximately 10 minutes of silence, Shizune returned with the Jinchuuriki in tow. "Here he is, Tsunade-sama."

"Oi, baachan, what's all this about?" he grumbles, not noticing that I was in the room. Or perhaps he did notice, but wasn't showing it. But no, I was wrong; because after she said nothing for a moment, he looked passed her at me, his eyes widening. "Uh… Gaara's here…" he said indistinctly.

"Yup, and it's your mission to be his bodyguard and escort while he's in Konoha. You don't mind, do you, Naruto-kun?" Tsunade coos, teasing my friend. "Besides, protecting the Kazekage is an A-rank mission; consider yourself honored to be doing something so highly ranked on your own."

"You… you planned this!" Naruto accuses, and I wondered what he meant.

Tsunade seemed to know. "Maybe I did, but that's none of your business. Now why don't you start your mission right away? I bet the Kazekage is hungry after such a long meeting. Shizune will give you some of my money; your dinner can be my treat."

"Oh... uh… okay." Naruto murmurs, his face flushing in the slightest. "Dinner. Come on, Gaara…"

I stood slowly and hid my face in that mask I promised myself I'd keep. On the way out, I heard Tsunade say to her subordinate, "500 yen says they kiss."

"Tsunade-sama, that's a rude thing to bet on!"

"I know, but for once I feel confident in my end of the bet."

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

I knew Gaara was going to be here today. I knew that I would probably see him sometime between training with Kakashi, eating and sleeping. What I didn't know was that the old hag was planning to basically set me up on a date with the redhead.

If I wasn't so embarrassed, I'd bitch her out about it.

But I guess, now, it can't be helped. Then again, this is probably the exact opportunity I needed. Stopping at whatever restaurant I came across (which happened to be where Asuma took the old team 10 out for barbeque), dragging Gaara inside by the elbow and getting a table. No one seemed to take notice that we were two guys… eating alone… which I was grateful. Maybe it's because everyone knows I'm friends with Gaara. Do they, I wonder?

Nervously I picked my napkin in my lap, not sure what to say. In the meantime Gaara chewed quietly and didn't look at me, or much of anything else but his food. I sighed, hating awkward silences; or any silence for that matter. I kept fidgeting with the napkin, picking off shreds of it with my nails into confetti while I began talking. "So, Gaara… have a good trip coming here?"

"Not really. Traveling is always uncomfortable for me."

"Oh," I reply lowly, not liking his tone; because there was no tone. No hint of dislike or sincerity; it was just… empty. "Well, then, uh… h-how do you like the food?"

"It's just fine."

"Okay… good." I pause. "Nice weather lately –"

Gaara slacks his shoulders in defeat and sets his utensils down. "Naruto, I know you want to say something to me other than this nonsense conversation. Your face isn't that hard to read. Whatever it is you have to say, please, just spit it out for both our sakes."

"I'm really very terribly sorry!" I burst out, bowing my head so fast and low that my forehead hits the table. Thank Kami that I was wearing my protector. I winced, feeling my breath against my face as I kept my head to the table, fogging up it's surface.

"Kindly remove your head from the table, Naruto." I heard Gaara mutter, and I swear I heard an eye roll in his voice. As soon as I had obeyed, Gaara looked at everywhere but my face. Avoiding eye contact was an unusual thing for him to do… "Now do you mind explaining that outburst?"

I grin sheepishly. "Of 'course…" I take a deep breath (actually, a few of them) and Gaara waits for me to speak, his hardly touched food and my own untouched plate start getting cold. "See, I'm sorry about just… leaving. I didn't… I mean…" I grunt exasperatedly. All these people around made me nervous. I couldn't get any words out, or at least no words that mattered. I suddenly stand, and Gaara's seafoam-blue orbs follow my movements. "Let's get out of here."

"Excuse me?" he replies, raising a nonexistent eyebrow.

"Bill please?" I call out, and a pay with Tsunade's money before walking towards the exit. I heard Gaara stand and follow, totally confused, no doubt. I was, too.

As we walked down the dimming streets, I slowed my pace to let my friends catch up. "Where are we headed?" he asks simply.

"My house. I can't talk to you with all those people around."

He nods curtly, as I that made perfect sense to him. By the way I was acting right about now, I guess that probably would make the most sense. "I've never been to your home before," Gaara says flatly, and I realized he was right. but then again, he's never had a reason to come to my house before.

"There's a first time for everything!" I tell him, unlocking my door with the key I had in one of my many pockets. It swings open and I flip a switch on the inside, the living room/entrance way filling with light. "Well, here we are. Home sweet home," I chuckle a little nervously.

Gaara hesitates in the doorway as I slip off my shoes and head for the kitchen, turning on lights along the way. Suddenly I couldn't have too much light, as if it would help the strange situation. "It's not very big."

I frown slightly. "Aren't you blunt? But no, it's not; I'm the only one who lives here, so I don't need it to be very big."

"You live alone?"

I shrug before nodding my head. "Yeah, but I don't mind it. But I hardly stay here for long, because it gets too quiet. I'm usually out training or going somewhere; I'm just lucky Konohakagure has so many things to do." I say chattily, still avoiding the main subject. But it turns around and whacks me in the back of the head anyway. "I'm so sorry…"

"I know you are, but you keep forgetting to specify what for," Gaara says, more tone to his voice this time around. He takes a seat on my couch and crosses his arms over his chest, the action so plain but looking oddly attractive the way he did it. Inwardly, I shook my head at myself. _Did I just call Gaara's movements attractive? Just what about this would make me think that?_

I sigh for more reasons than one and come to sit beside Gaara on the couch, but choose the far end opposite of him. Clutching my knees with shaking hands (which oddly reminded me of when I was younger and was terrified of Gaara, talking to Shikamaru and shaking in the same way) I prepare myself to tell him why I was so sorry.

"You should already know why," I begin. "Unless you're pretending not to know. But either way, I'll just…" I take a breath and shift my gaze away from my knees to his face, which I found was staring intently at me, lips parted. "I'm trying to apologize for just leaving you hanging, Gaara. No one deserves being ran away from, least of all you. I know, like me, you were ran away from most o your life because people were afraid. I'm not afraid of you… but I was afraid of myself, I think," I confess, suddenly on the ramble. I couldn't stop talking now that I've started. "Heh, you know, the only other time I've been kissed was a complete accident. It involved tripping and landing with the coincidence of lips touching. Unfortunately for me, Sasuke was the victim. He was disgusted and so was I, because at the time we were pure rivals and hated each other for the most part. Sakura-chan was mad at me for a long time, saying Sasuke's first kiss should have belonged to her. But it's not like I enjoyed it! Erm… anyway…"

"You were disgusted by my kiss as well, is that what you're trying to say?" the Sand nin says coldly, traces of pain reaching his eyes.

I didn't like that, not one bit. "Iiya, iiya! That's not it! It was… weird. You shocked me."

"Anyone would be, I guess. I'm the last person someone would think of receiving a kiss from."

"Not that; I mean, yeah, I was surprised and all, but I mean you actually **shocked** me; like, with a static shock or something. It was weird."

Gaara frowns. "A static shock? How can I shock you? It's not as if I'm part of the lightning element."

I laughed faintly. "Ha, I recently learned about hat kind of stuff; Kakashi-sensei is of the lightning element…" I cleared my throat. "Back on topic: I seriously felt a jolt of some kind, like sticking my finger in an electrical socket. And what's more, the same thing happened a few other times I've touched you, 'ttebayo! I don't get it! Like that handshake, or…" I shake my head. "Is that normal?"

"Doesn't seem like it," Gaara replies, glancing at my TV, which was lying dormant at the moment.

"I wonder if it was just a fluke or something."

"Most likely."

"But Gaara, listen… I really am sorry, got it? I didn't mean to hurt you, and –"

"What were you trying to say to me before you disappeared?" he inquires, a strange look flashing across his face. It looked beseeching.

"Huh? Oh, wait… I remember. I was trying to tell you that I was straight. You know what that means, right?" I flush, scratching my cheek. He nods. I look away. "Someone I didn't have the heart to say it, though. And then you looked so hurt, and your scent was suddenly so strong, that I just freaked out. Again, gomenasai, Gaara."

He inclines his head. "My scent?"

"Heh heh, yeah; don't you know what you smell like?" I ask him.

He shakes his head.

I feel my face scrunch up a little. "Okay, well, if I tell you it'll sound really stupid…"

"Probably not much stupider than how you've been sounding," he says, and I see his mouth curve upwards at the end.

"Kami, since you put it that way…" I chuckle. After a pause, I say: "It's like sandalwood and honey with a little bit of dried blood," I mutter. "Earthy."

A blush creeps onto his face, and under his shaggy hair I see his ears burn nearly as crimson as the hair above it. I scratch the back of my head and turn away embarrassedly. Gaara says something so low that I can't hear him, but I feel him shift on the couch. I turn back only to find that he's closer to me than he was before. "I forgive you."

It took my brain a moment to register that; he meant he forgave me for running away. "Th-thanks…" I stutter. Without knowing I was going to say it until I had, I informed Gaara, "I'm really confused right now. Do I love you?"

He blinks a few times, and so do I. Had I really just said that?! "You tell me," he says after a while.

I frown at myself. "How am I supposed to know? How did you even know?"

He blushes again and leans back to his original place on my couch. "It took me a while to understand it myself. And when I thought I had it figured out, I denied it and talked to my sister about it."

I think for a minute. "Tell me what it feels like," I say softly. "Then I'll compare it to what I feel."

"You'd think this situation should be reversed," Gaara says with an ironic smile. "You'd think you'd be telling me what love is, since I'm normally the one confused about such things."

"Just tell me," I repeat.

He looks away, and all I can see is his profile, red hair and all. "It starts with the pain in your heart going away around that person, and instead of pain you get a strange longing to be with them. You feel happier around them, more complete. They affect the way you act, and you find yourself thinking a lot about hat person. Sometimes you dream about them. And sometimes your heart will race or your stomach will flip when you're too close to that person, which I know sounds very cliché. There's one last thing, though: when you look at them, really look at them, you take in every detail of their face, hair, and body, and think it's perfect. You never see a flaw, you only see how nice they look to you. And if they have any flaws in looks or even personality, you don't care because you like those flaws anyway. To you, even flaws are perfect."

I stare at him long after he stopped talking, and somewhere in the middle of his speech I felt lost in the low hum of his voice. He was so calming to be around. As his words' meanings reached my mind and I processed them, I suddenly thought of how true it all sounded. Maybe it was a little different – when I'm too close to the point of touch I feel like I get electrocuted, and my heart doesn't race quite as much – but I did think about Gaara a lot, even dreamt of him sometimes. And he understood me so well, different than anyone else ever could. And when I looked at him, I never did see anything wrong. Even the unreachable looks on his face, or the coolness of his eyes, or the missing eyebrows were nothing to me. To me, it was just how Gaara was. So did that mean, despite my usual attraction to girls or my feelings for Sakura, that I loved my best friend?

I turned my eyes to said friend. Although it was hard to tell since his pupils were practically imaginary (like the Hyuugas' or Ino's), Gaara's eyes seemed clouded over, as if daydreaming. Slowly he looked to me, his hand reaching out to gently catch hold of my jaw and pull me into him. Gaara had always been aggressive in battle, but this was different…

"Sorry about this," he whispers before kissing me.

This time, I feel my skin prickle at his touch and my ears burn so red they probably matched his hair. His lips felt fuller than they looked, I noticed, especially since they were drawn into a thin line half the time.

When he released me he sighed to himself, probably waiting for my second rejection. But it never came; I didn't have the heart to do it, because I think I liked that kiss. "You have got to stop doing that," I scold, somehow unable to wipe the smile that was presently resting on my mouth.

"Stop doing what?" he asks, confused (and my grin probably didn't help him be less confused).

"Stop kissing me without warning. Next time, just say, 'Naruto, I'm going to kiss you and you can't stop me' so that I have time to react."

"What are you saying?" he frowns.

"I think… I think I'm saying that I… like it." I say, feeling lie a complete moron. Which I sort of was.

'Does that mean you love me back?' his eyes and face seemed to plead. 'Please say it does mean that you love me back.'

"I don't know what it means, Gaara," I say truthfully, my expression suddenly serious. "But I'm going to find out."


	17. Falling Up

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

I felt strangely elated, like my whole world was suddenly off the ground, and I was happily flying. Call it hope, call it girlish, call it cliché, call it whatever you like. Either way, I could feel it with every fiber of my being, although I was careful not to show any of it outwardly. Although, when I want back to the hotel, I did show some of it while I talked with my sister. She smiled broader than any other one she's ever made, and she slipped one arm around my shoulders to squeeze me into a half-hug. "I'm so happy for you, Gaara!"

I backed out of the hug and reminded her, "It's not official yet, Temari. Naruto did not say 'aishiteru', or even 'daisukii' for that matter. He's unsure about it."

"But I have faith in that Uzumaki kid. I think he'll come around to you eventually; sooner rather than later, too, I bet." She sounded so sure of herself.

The word 'bet' reminded me of something. "Tsunade-sama won."

Temari cocks her head. "What now?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Nothing. Just that the Hokage bet 500 yen to Shizune-san that Naruto and I would kiss."

Temari chuckles long and low. "And to think, she owes that extra 500 she gained all to you."

I flush slightly. "I really don't know why I did it. But he had said something, and it made me feel… good. And because of that, I wanted to kiss him."

"I think that's just too sweet," my sister grins, ruffling my hair. I frown and push her hand away. I hated my hair ruffled. She laughs and ruffles my hair once more, just to annoy me. Then she sends me a look. "So what was it like? You never did talk about your first kiss to me, let alone our second. Talk to me about your third, would you please?"

"Kami, Temari, you're acting an awful lot like a gossiping girl." I retort, not really wanting to share my experience with her. A kiss should be sacred, should it? It was something special you did with someone you care a lot about, right? If that's true, then I had no reason to talk about it with her. "Isn't there a saying, 'never kiss and tell'?"

She pouts. "Maybe I am acting a little bit like a girly-girl, but I can't help it. I honestly never thought you'd get this far this young, Gaara."

"What about you?" I snap. "What about your first kiss? Tell me yours and I might consider telling you about my third."

She scowls at me. "Who told you I ever even had a first kiss, huh? Was it Kankurou?"

"No, I simply guessed. Was it that Nara guy? You two act strangely when you're together, and I know for a fact you have to work with him whenever you're sent here."

I was lucky enough to see one of Temari's rare blushes, so different from her I'm-a-tough-tomboy appearance. "I-it's not him…" she stutters, which obviously meant it was Nara Shikamaru.

I smirk wickedly. "I see. You know what? I've decided not to tell you about my kiss. Good night onee-chan."

"Eh?!" was all she was able to utter before I shoved her out of my room. She grunted angrily as I closed the door behind her.

I sighed and leaned against the door, my hand to my head. What a life I lead; pains of all kinds, responsibility, guilt, change, love, happiness… how chaotic. Sometimes I wonder how other people are able to deal with these things, or if they even have to. Maybe I'm the only one; well, the only one besides Naruto. He'd know better than anyone else what I mean. After all, he was there (and part of the reason) for half of those things.

I also sometimes wonder what he thinks about when I'm not around. Take right now for instance: I found my thoughts drifting to the blonde, more specifically drifting to possible things he could be thinking of. Mostly, I wondered if what he was thinking involved me. That may sound 'cheesy' as Kankurou puts it, but it was the God-honest truth. I wanted to know if Naruto thought about me, and what it was he thought when I come to his mind.

Maybe some day I can ask him just that.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

My psyche was stuck in a rut.

It kept going down the same thought path, about the same topic, on the same person.

Namely, I was thinking about Gaara, his lips on mine, and what it meant to me. Or, really, what it made me feel.

And this rut was seriously starting to tick me off.

You see, my thought process went like this: _Gaara is my friend. Gaara knows me. Gaara loves me. Do I love him? Gaara has kissed me; three times. Gaara had really red hair that tickled my yellow hair when he kissed me. He smells kind of good. Gaara is in love with me. Can I be in love with him? Gaara used to be a Jinchuuriki. Gaara died once already. I broke his heart. I made it better. Gaara has really interesting eyes. His scar means 'ai'. Do I feel that way about Gaara? His lips feel warm. His breath feels cool. Gaara blushes easily on contact. When I touch him, I feel sparks. Did that mean I was connected him? Did that mean I was in love? Can I love a guy, anyway? What would everyone else say? But that last kiss was so nice. The first stupefied me. The second freaked me out. But I like kissing Gaara. Does that make me in love with my friend? Gaara is my friend…_

And the process would start al over again, each thought passing like a wood chip down a stream, only to go into the river and back into the same stream, a one-way current. A repeated question was if I loved him. in a sense, I have for a while; it's the kind of love that isn't romantic, the kind you feel for your precious people. But I wonder… could one of those people turn more precious than all the others? Can they become so precious to you that you can't live without them? **So precious that you fell in love?**

"Ahh, my brain hurts, dattebayoooo!" I whine, plopping down into my bed. I glance over at my clock, and realize I should probably sleep soon. I was supposed to train with Kakashi again, and I need my strength since I have to use so many clones. With a grunt I get up and undress, rinse my teeth (I didn't feel like brushing) and shut off the lights. But while laying on my back, looking at a moonlit ceiling, I found I couldn't sleep.

Something was nagging at the back of my mind, something semi-important.

It was then I sat up in bed, remember what that was. "I have to tell Sakura about my father!" I say to the open air. And then I frown. "Better yet, I should tell Tsunade and see how she reacts. Gaara should know, too, for that matter." I nod twice to myself. "Un, un."

I lay back down, closing my eyes for sleep. But instead of getting instant gratification, I was once again lost in thought. _Kissing is different when you have your eyes open, I realize. When it's too fast and shocking, like that accident with Sasuke or Gaara's first to me, you have no time to close your eyes or take it in. The second kiss with Gaara was like that, too… my eyes had been open. But that third time, I realize, I had closed my eyes. It's totally different when you close your eyes; instead of seeing what they're doing, you have to feel it, really take it in. I think I liked tat kiss better because I had my eyes closed. Although, I noticed, Gaara always had his eyes closed. He's not stupid enough to leave them open like I was. But then again, he knew the kiss was coming, and I didn't! _

"Gah! Stop thinking!" I yell at myself, squeezing my eyes even more closed that they already were. "Just sleep, damn you…"

And for once, I was able to obey myself.

* * *

After eating the eggs that he tried to cook and not burn, Naruto set out to train with Kakashi. "We're stepping it up a notch today," the silver-haired man said, his visible eyes smiling. "So if you just summon your clones, we can get started!"

The blonde was getting a little tired of having clones of himself around to rain with him. Using one or two to make Rasengan in his hand was one thing, but this? This was just pandemonium. His sensei had explained why to him already; something about the clones, after being poofed away, will have everything they learned go to the original. So, to make training that normally takes years to only take a few short weeks or months, Kakashi told Naruto to make as many clones as he could so that they can all train together at once, and at the end they can give all their extra training to him. It seemed logical; the more Naruto's there were, the more training can be completed in the least amount of time. But it was still, as Shika would say, "troublesome" to make so many clones and work along side them everyday.

Sakura came to watch and cheer him on, and Sai was drawing in the shade of the trees. Yamato-taichou stuck around to make sure the Kyuubi wasn't used too much and stayed under control; he was mostly the only person who could do that besides Jiraiya, since he was a genetic experiment modeled after the 4th.

_Speaking of which,_ Naruto grunted in his mind as he educated himself, _I think I'll tell Sakura what Kyuubi had said as soon as I'm done with today's training. I could probably tell her on the way to the Hokage Tower, since I have to 'bodyguard' Gaara again when his meetings are over. Damn Tsunade-baachan, she just loves tormenting me._

Across the Leaf at said Tower with said 'kages, a meeting was taking place, and Gaara felt oddly bored. Unlike his anxiousness from yesterday, this was pure anticipation; he couldn't wait to spend time with Naruto again later today. Everything else seemed boring and pointless to him now. But he didn't show this outwardly; he played it off as if he was fully interested and paying attention, which in a sense he was. He made suggestions here and there, proposing this matter or that.

By the end, all that had to be done before Gaara was free was to sign (along with Tsunade and both Village's council members) the first of the alliance papers for the official treaty. This one stated things regarding if one Village is in trouble, the other must send help and blah blah blah. It felt like two kingdoms trying to make peace and make nice and be **nearly** friends. Even though, not too long ago, said 'kingdoms' had been enemies.

"Hokage Tsunade-sama," Gaara addressed formally after half the council had begun filing out of the meeting room.

"Oh, no need to be so formal, Gaara-san. We're equals; the least you can do is call me 'Tsunade-san'." She smiles pleasantly.

He nods. "Alright then. Tsunade-san… what do you know about Naruto and I?"

She looked both surprised by the question and expecting of it all within seconds. "What an odd thing to ask," she says, her smile turning into a smirk. "But if you must know, I got Naruto a little tipsy the night he returned from Suna, and he told me just about everything I wanted to know."

"Tipsy?" Gaara asks, not liking the sound of the word. "You mean with alcohol?"

Tsunade shrugs. "He looked depressed; the least I could do was lighten his spirits some. It was only a shot glass or two of sake, nothing more. It takes the edge off."

"And after you gave that to him, what was it that he said?" the redhead swallows, and was thankful that no one but Shizune was left in the room.

She shrugs. "Nothing much; that is, until the end. But I want to confirm it for myself: Gaara-san, do you harbor _feelings_ for my darling gennin?"

"Darling gennin…?" Gaara says as emotionlessly as possible, although a hint of curiosity as to what she meant by that leaked through.

The woman laughed. "Naruto, as much as I pretend not to, means something to me, Gaara-san. He reminds me of my younger brother, whom…" and took a deep breath, "Passed away. Not to mention he has the same 'I want to be Hokage' dreams of someone else I once knew. That, and he's a really great kid. So, if someone's…" She pauses for the right word, and when she finds it she continues: "_Interested_ in him, I want to know."

Gaara exhaled through his nose, a sigh that both was tempted tot ell her and refusing to do so. Ultimately, he figured she must already know his answer, and was simply waiting for him to say it aloud. "What he told you was true," the Kazekage says slowly. "I won't deny it, but I wish it stays a secret between us."

Tsunade makes a face. "I think one other person knows about it, but she's not one to gossip. You know her; she's Naruto's friend and my pupil, Sakura-chan."

"The pink-haired girl knows?" Gaara says, not bothering to mask the emotion that spread across his face.

The blonde woman laughs. "Don't worry about it; she, Naruto, and I are the only ones who know. Unless you've told your siblings…?" she hints, raising an eyebrow.

Gaara glances down for a moment. "I've told Temari, but only because she figured it out."

Tsunade nods. "That seems logical; girls always know; especially older sisters," she adds with a wink.

Gaara colors slightly, wishing he still had his shell of sand over his skin to hide the redness like in the 'good old days'.

"Speaking of that ninja, where is he? He's late! Maybe Kakashi is rubbing off on him."

As if on cue, the orange-and-black clad boy arrives, a little out of breath. "Oi, sorry about that. I had to leave my clones there to finish training to come get you, Gaara. And I doubt Kakashi-sensei is rubbing off on me, Tsunade-baach…han…"

His head began swirling as, farther away, the clones disappeared and gave their exhaustion to him. His eyes fell closed, and before Tsunade could react, Gaara was there to catch his slowly falling weight. But Gaara forgot how heavy a person could be, and he collapsed with Naruto peculiarly perched on top on him.

"Nnhg! Ts-sunade-san, some assistance please…!" Gaara grunts, his face turning every shade of magenta as he tried to ease the unconscious blonde off of himself.

Shizune was there in a millisecond, tugging at Naruto's limbs to get him off the redhead. But Tsunade was presently laughing her ass off. "Tsunade-sama, this isn't funny! Help us! Naruto-kun might need some medical attention, and –"

The Hokage shakes her head, her laughter settling itself. "He's fine; he just needs a little break to sleep and get his chakra back up to snuff. Here, bring him to my office and we'll lay him down on the couch in the corner."

"Hai," Shizune nods as Tsunade walks over and lifts the boy by his arms, the dark-haired woman holding his ankles. Gaara crawls out embarrassedly from under where the blonde had been and stands, dusting himself off.

"I couldn't have asked for a worse way to humiliate myself today," he grumbles, and Tsunade was close enough to hear it. She chuckles again and asks Gaara to open the office door. He does so and stands by it as they carry his friend in. They set him gently on the couch, his legs too long for it's twin seats, so they prop them up on the arm of the furniture.

Tsunade winks to Shizune and suggests rather loudly, "I think I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head of today's stressful meetings. Why don't you come with my, Shizune?"

"Um… of 'course, Tsunade-sama."

"Good! Bai-bai Gaara-san; take good care of Naruto for us!" Tsunade grins wickedly before exiting the room, Shizune tagging along behind her.

_They just had to go and leave me alone with him, didn't they?_ Gaara thought grumpily to himself. _Does everyone enjoy seeing me embarrassed? What, is it supposed to be cute or something of that nature? I don't find it very 'cute' or amusing in the least._

But it was a very tempting situation. His love was unconscious and peaceful-looking, if not a little sweaty from training so hard. In fact, his zipper on his jacket was down a fee inches, enough for Gaara to see his neck, some mesh, and a cord that belonged to a necklace.

_I didn't know Naruto wore jewelry,_ Gaara frowned, coming closer to look at it. With the most moderate of touches, Gaara lifted the cord and studied the blue crystal that hung from it, along with two circular beads on either side of the top of the crystal, looking to be made of pure silver. The pendant itself was an odd shade of cobalt, nearly the exact color of Naruto's eyes. Gaara placed the necklace back in the folds of the other boy's jacket, and for a moment just stared at his face.

The kitsune seemed to be sweating a lot beneath his forehead protector, and vaguely Gaara wondered if he should remove it. Gingerly he inched closer, and with one movement slipped the headband off, tie and all. Naruto's bangs fell messily onto his forehead, some going off to the sides of his face and sticking to the sweat. Strangely enough, the Sand nin found himself brushing away at the stray, stuck locks of hair to reveal more of Naruto's face.

He pulled back quickly, however, when said boy begun muttering in his sleep. "Kyuubi… my father… Hokage…"

Gaara puzzled at that and listened for more muffled words, trying to make out their meaning.

"The 4th… my dad… why did Kyuubi have to be… right…?"

Even in sleep Gaara saw Naruto's muscles tense and brows furrow, and the boy's fingers twitched, nearly clenching into a fist.

"Seal… the sealing jutsu… killed him… Why…? Stupid father…"

_Naruto's never said anything about his father before. I didn't even think he knew who his father was. But he mentioned the 4th Hokage and Kyuubi; does that mean Kyuubi told him something about the young Hokage? Was he dreaming that the 4th was his father?_ Gaara thought to himself, still studying the other boy's sleeping form.

Suddenly, Naruto was rolling over on the couch to Gaara's lap (since the redhead had pulled a chair up next to the sofa to watch over him). Gaara blushed and pushed at him, trying to – as coolly as possible – get the other boy back on the two-seater. The blonde stirred from being shoved like that, and his eyes fluttered open. "Eh…? Gaara…?"

Said boy froze, Naruto still halfway on his lap. As soon as the blonde realized that's where he was, he shot up like a bullet into sitting position. Gaara cleared his throat. "So I see you're awake now."

"Y-yeah…" Naruto's tan face tints pink at a new thought. "Wait, did I fall asleep on you again?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes," Gaara informed him, standing up and momentarily tossing the Leaf nin's forehead protector to him.

"Oops," Naruto chuckles. "Gomen."

"It's nothing," the redhead tells him. "Anyhow, now that you're up, maybe we should go –"

"How long was I out?" the blonde interrupts, sliding his protector into one of his pockets. Then he zips his jacket up far enough to not show any of the mesh he wore underneath.

"Not too long," the other replies. "About 20 minutes, give or take. Tsunade-san said you collapsed from exhaustion. Just what are you training for that you use so much chakra?"

Naruto shrugs as a grin crosses his face. "It's a secret." He stands and stretches his arms before leaning down to touch his toes to stretch his back. "So, Gaara… what do you want to go do tonight?"


	18. Unmistakable

**A/N: holy shit, i went overboard. what the hell was i thinking when i wrote this chapter?! i don't know whether to love it or hate it, call it OOC or IC, or WHAT. this chapter is just... weird. and too full of angsty-slightly-cliche-...stuff. you'll see what i mean. but oh boy, i just hope you guys don't flame me for what happens in this chapter. I BLAME MY ICE CREAM INDUCED SUGAR HIGH FOR IT. fer serious. **

**and no, this is not the end (yet). got it?**

* * *

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

_'What do you want to do tonight?'_ He asks. My answer should be obvious: 'Anything that's with you.' But I don't say that. Instead, my lips yank at the corners into a smile. "Why don't you choose? I don't know what there is to do in Konoha."

"Hmm, well… it might be warm enough to swim in the lake; if not, there are the bath houses. We could go to the arcade or go see a movie. Are you hungry? Because we could go eat somewhere. There's always the woods to explore…" Naruto laughs. "And if you want to get childish, we could play ninja tag or hide-and-kill. Things like that. There's also 'shopping', but that's a girl thing that Sakura-chan makes me tag along to do every once in a while."

I ponder those options. "I would like to go swimming; it's something you obviously don't get to do very often in Sunakagure." I pause and see a question flash in his eyes. "Even though we live in a desert, certain shinobi are required to learn to swim in case of an outside mission near bodies of water." I add, knowing that question was to ask how desert folk like me know how to swim.

On cue, he says, "Huh, I was wondering about that. But okay, if the water isn't too cold, we can go for a night swim." After a moment he chuckles before turning to walk out of the Hokage office.

"What's so funny?" I ask, inclining my head slightly.

"Oh, nothing much, just that Kiba and I used to go to the lake at night and tamper with the docks, just to piss the Uchiha's off. This was after we became friends a few years ago, of 'course."

"Would you swim some of those times?" I find myself saying.

"Sure," Naruto shrugs. "Why wouldn't we? It's kind of rebellious crashing a public place at night and taking advantage of it. Most of the time I would swim alone, though, after a day of training or when I came back from a mission. It calms me," he admits.

"I suppose it would; swimming is normally a very relaxed thing to do," I tell him casually.

"When is it not that way?"

"When you're swimming for your life from ninja that wants to kill you," I remark. "Or when you're fighting the current of a river you accidentally fell into during battle. There are lots of times when swimming isn't relaxing, but is alternatively stressful."

"Wow," he says, clasping his hands behind his head. "I never thought of it that way before."

I nod to him. "Well, now you have."

The blonde smiles and stares ahead, and I watch as his face slowly changes into a stubborn pout.

"What's that look for?" I pose, pointing to his face.

He sighs. "No reason, try not to worry about it."

Whenever someone says something like that, you know you should worry, or that it does have a reason. I vaguely wondered if it involved me, which is why he didn't want to say anything. I hoped that I was correct, because the thought of that being the reason for his pouting face made me feel happy, somehow.

* * *

_**Uzumaki Naruto**_

Kuso! I should have never brought up swimming or the bath houses (which I'm grateful now he didn't choose); because in order to swim, you have to be in your swimming trunks or underwear, plus you have to be in the water _together_. I wanted to kick myself. I wish I would have thought of that before he chose to go swimming. If I'm lucky, it'll be too cold to swim and we'll just have to pick something else to do.

But as soon as we walked outside, I felt the temperature of the slowly darkening evening, and I realized it was perfect; at least, perfect enough to be walking around without a shirt on. But realistically, I'm not defeated until we reach the lake.

When we get there, I kick off my sandals and step into the shallow water by the shore, testing it's temperature. Chikushou, it feels lovely. Slightly chilling at first, but as my feet stood in it for a minute or two, it felt fine. Over eagerly, I temporarily forgot my worries and unzipped my jacket and pealed off the mesh underneath, and with a button and a shrug my pants fall to my ankles. "Wahoo!" I yelp as I crash into the water, the cool droplets splashing my face and chest. "It's a little cold at first, Gaara, but after a while it feels great!"

But that's when I remembered why I was hesitant in swimming just moments ago. Because after I said his name I turned to smile at him, but my smile fades when I see him unrolling the gauzy collar of his Kazekage robes to reveal not much underneath. I swallow hard, and instinctively dove under the surface so that Gaara didn't catch me staring.

I held my breath for what felt like forever. It wasn't until my lungs were screaming at me to inhale that I resurfaced. By that time I saw Gaara floating a couple meters away, part of his hair still dry while he extended his limbs and lay in the water.

For some reason, a sensation to dunk him under came over me. To anyone else but Gaara, I would probably do just that. But I held myself back and dive under again, opening my eyes to see thing moonlight quiver beneath the surface. I circled a small area underwater for a few minutes before coming back up, gulping down the air while I treaded water.

Gaara's hair, I noticed, was completely wet now. He was looking over at me. I grinned in return. I hesitated before deciding to swim over to him. "What are you thinking right now?"

"Why must I be thinking anything?" he says frankly.

I shrug. "I dunno, it just looked like you were thinking of something."

"I suppose I was thinking about one thing…"

"What was it?" I ask, flipping onto my back to float beside him, hands behind my head.

"You were mumbling in you sleep," he starts, and automatically my face falls. I hated it when people heard me talk in my sleep; I usually said really embarrassing or nonsense things. "You were saying something about the Kyuubi, and the 4th Hokage, and your father. What were you dreaming of?"

"Oh, that…" I say with both relief and reluctance. "Well, you see, Kyuubi told me something not too long ago: The Yondaime Hokage is my father, and died using a sealing jutsu to put Kyuubi inside of me," I admit, feeling abnormally guilty. Why did I feel guilty? I had wanted to tell him this ever since Kyuubi had said it. I also had wanted to tell Sakura-chan, although I don't know when the right time for that will be. "Which is information I didn't know before. I guess I was still hung up on it, so I dreamt of it."

He nods slightly before ducking under the water. I panic for a minute, glancing around to make sure he wasn't swimming towards me. He pops up far away, on the opposite side of the lake from where he had been. For someone who lives in the desert, that guy swims fast!

"What're you doing way over there?" I tease, getting chakra to my feet so that I could stand on top of the level water and walk over to him.

"Neat trick," he mutters, but soon he's pulling himself out of the water and standing on it as well. "But anyone could do that."

It takes my brain a moment to register what he had said, since at first the only thing I saw was his thin, toned upper body and dripping wet boxers. Then I gathered myself up and chuckled. "You would know! When I first met you, you were hanging upside down from a tree!"

Gaara makes a weird noise before crashing under the water, bubbles rising as he lets the chakra in his feet disperse. I wonder why for a second, but then realize be must have seen how I had… er… 'undressed him with my eyes' as Jiraiya would put it, the old perverted coot. I release my own chakra flow in my feet to sink below the surface, deciding to tail Gaara. For a fish out of water, he sure acts like swimming comes natural to him.

"Oi, Gaara! Slow down, will you? You're making this 'relaxing swim' into a marathon!" I call out, laughing slightly while I tried to catch up to him.

He reaches one of the docks and climbs up on it, and I see his clothes right off to the side of said dock, near the jumbled pile of my own. He slips on the pants he had been wearing but ignores the shirt as he loops the Kazekage robes over his soaked structure. I frown at this, because soon he's picking up his unworn clothes and walking up the hill to the street above.

"Gaara! Oi, oi, Gaara! What's with you? Wait up!" I call, splashing my way to the shore and scooping up my mesh, pants and jacket, hardly bothering to do much more than slip on my bottoms and reach my arms into the sleeves. I don't even bother zipping my jack up over my exposed chest. I felt the pendant of the necklace Tsunade gave me thump against my skin as I jogged to catch up to my friend. I was still barefoot (sandals under one arm along with my mesh), so my footsteps were light on the street. "Gaara…?" I ask, grabbing a hold of his shoulder like I had when he came back to all of us from death.

He whirls around, stopping dead in the middle of the street. The houses near us were dark in the windows, most people heading to bed early or not home. I felt drips of cool water hit my knuckles, his hair still so wet from having just swum God knows how long. He stares at me for a moment, and my eyes search his aquamarine orbs, which in the dim light looked grey.

"Something wrong?" I ask him.

* * *

_**Sabaku No Gaara**_

It was so hard not to reply to a face like that. It was like I was being resurrected all over again with the way Naruto looked at me then, his eyes full of concern and passion. In the dark, his hair looked a pale blonde and his eyes a dark grey-blue, like the sky above us, only less violet. His whisker marks were hard to make out, but his narrowed eyebrows weren't. He was asking me what was mistaken, and seemed to be begging for a way to fix it.

But it can't be fixed so easily.

It was remarkable; he had told me something private about his father, but gave the impression that he didn't to care that he told me. He was swimming (what felt like) intimately with me in the moonlight, but acted like it was something friends do all the time. Naruto has said he thought he liked it when I kissed him, yet he ran away the first couple times, and never said exactly what his heart underwent when he was with me.

Naruto confused me, and in a way, he hurt me with how indirect he was being. When he speaks, he's normally very blunt; but when he moves, he's very circuitous. I wanted to force out of him all the answers as to why he was that way.

"You're wrong," I tell him. He had asked what was wrong, and I told him._ It was him._

"…Nani?" he asks, letting go of my shoulder. Bewilderment and slight pain crossed his face, and I almost wanted to say: 'now you know how I feel'. I suppose that was the older, crueler me insisting I say just that. To be honest, I was dreadfully close to giving in.

Instead, though, I sigh stiffly and turn away, not wanting to see how my next set of words was going to affect him. "I wonder every so often if you enjoy torturing me. You look like you trust me, and you confide in me about very important things; like the discovery of who your father was and information of that sort. You act so casual when you're with me, as if the activities we do together – swimming at night, getting ice cream or dinner, and such – are normal for best friends, when I know for a fact (by watching others) that those are things are what _couples_ do, romantic couples. You tell me you care a lot about me, but you never say whether or not you're in love with me. To be honest, Naruto, I'm getting terribly confused and hurt by the way you act. And I'm tired of feeling that way. Can't you just choose instead of leading me on like this?" I growl in a frustrated tone. My voice stayed low the entire time, and I didn't once look at him. I couldn't, not with what I was saying. I was angry with him, and the back of my eyes burned as if I wanted to cry. I had felt the same way when he had run from me months ago, but I never shed a tear. I might soon, though, if he didn't answer me.

"Gaara…" Naruto says softly, almost hurtfully. No, not almost; he was hurt. Part of me was smug about it, glad I had hurt him back. But most of me was aching; it was sorry I had made that pained tone come to his voice, to my own _name_.

My legs twitched, and I got a storming urge to run from him. But I stayed rooted to the ground, my back to him.

"G-Gaar-ra," he choked, and I heard tears in his voice. _He always cries with no trouble,_ I think with an inward sigh.

I bit my lower lip, refusing to turn around, run, or cry. I won't break down, not even for him. He didn't deserve it at the moment.

My breath caught in my throat when I felt shaking arms loop around my waist, the sleeves damp from the skin beneath them, pressing my own damp clothing to my body. My heart began to race when I felt hot, broken breaths on my neck, along with warm wetness and soft lips. I wasn't sure if the wet was from tears or saliva, but I hardly cared. Naruto was embracing me, and suddenly that was all that mattered.

What he said next was unmistakable: "G-Gaara, g-gomenas-sai. I never meant to… to upset you…" His grip tightened, and I squeezed my eyes closed, all surprise of the action gone as I tried to steady myself. "I think… I really…" I braced for whatever he said next, my lower lip being bitten on the brink of bleeding. "Daisukii. No... th-that's not right... Gaara, aishiteru. Ai… Gaara…"

My lip fell out from between my teeth as my jaw lowered in surprise. My eyes pop open and heat covers my face. _Kami, oh Kami, he had said it; he really had said it. Naruto loves me. Naruto loves me…_

For once in an extensive period of time, I cried. But, for once in my life, it was for an emotion completely separate from sadness or despair.

It was unmistakable. **Naruto has finally found that he loves me.** And I couldn't be happier, even if I didn't quite show it the way people recognize as contentment.


	19. Adding Up The Aftermath

**A/N: whoa! this fanfic now has more reviews than one of my more popular stories, Friends and Memories (an AkuRoku fic)! i also love the 2100 plus hits! thanks so much, and keep reading/leaving your thoughts! it really makes an author feel good.**

**oh, and know what i realize? i never do disclaimers. ever. but it should be obvious that i don't own Naruto, right? i mean, this is FANfiction. as in, i'm a FAN. so to me, when someone writes a disclaimer (as hilarious as some disclaimers are) it's pointless because this whole site is FAN-based. XD**

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

It took me a moment for my brain to register where I was and why I was sleeping while sitting up. It was then that I took in my surroundings: I was in my apartment, on the couch, and the sun was just about to rise. Gaara was lying on his side, one arm under couch pillows behind his head, his calves presently resting in my lap. I blinked a few times, first at thinking: _why is he here?_ It was then I remembered what I had said last night.

I yawned and gently slipped out from under the redhead's legs, making my way to a clock. I needed to know what time it was… the one above the stove read just after 5:00. I shook my head and sighed, realizing I could have probably slept a little longer. But now that I was up and awake, it was hard to get back to sleep. So I headed back to the living room, eyeing Gaara's sleeping form. He looked a lot different in sleep; less intimidating, less regal, and much younger. His mouth was slightly agape and his sleep-deprived black rimmed eyes reminded me of a panda.

I came a little closer to him, trying to get a better look at his face. I may have had a passing thought or two of my friend being attractive, but I never let the thoughts stay because I was still denying that I could be in love with him. But after what he said to me last night, I had broken down my inner barriers and admitted to myself – and Gaara – what I felt. So, at this very moment, I let my mind wander to really look at his features and admire them.

His scarlet locks reminded me of red-hot cinnamon candies, which is an odd thing to compare someone like Gaara to. I brushed some of said locks back over his left ear, my fingers drifting to his scar. From afar it looked like a crude tattoo, but I knew better. And once I touched it's rough surface and not quite perfect lines of calligraphy, I could confirm that it was no tattoo, not at all. It was a carving, still a little pink and raw, from who knows how many years ago. I'd have to ask Gaara when he got it… or made it. And I'd have to ask why he chose 'love'. I used to think it felt foreboding to have such a word on his forehead… and now I know why: because it's that exact word, that exact feeling, which I had come to feel for the boy in front of me.

My fingertips, as lightly as ever, trailed down his cheek to his jaw and chin. It was a nice shape, his face; strong but slightly kind, even if his past wasn't as such. I pulled my hand away, turning to look gingerly at the rest of him. Gaara was still wearing the Kazekage robed he had thrown on after getting out of the lake. They were mostly likely dry by now, but I wasn't much looking at the clothes than the figure that was beneath them. Even while swimming, I noticed that Gaara wasn't as built in his upper body as I was. He was toned, anyone could see that; but when you're close enough to him – or hugging him like I had the previous night – you'd notice that he was a little too thin, too small for a boy. He was almost girlish in the way his figure had grown, minus the wide hips and breasts, of 'course.

I appreciate this aspect of him, though; his thinner physique and centimeters of height difference made Gaara_ fit_ with me… I saw that last night when I had held him. It's weird the electric sparks I get when I touch him like that; which I know means something, although I still haven't thought of what. Maybe it was just my love for him, but it could be something else. Either way, those sparks told me that he was supposed to be with me. We _fit_.

Out of the blue, I see Gaara twitch his fingers, and I tense up. Now I know how he felt yesterday when I had woken up and caught him watching me sleep. His eyes flutter open, and unlike the crusty, tired look I get in my eyes in the morning, his looked rested and bright. I didn't fight the smile that bubbled his way onto my mouth. "Good morning," I mutter.

He doesn't respond, only stares at me for a moment before blinking hard and sitting up slowly. I hear his neck crack and his turns his head this way and that. Gaara takes one look out the window before standing and heading for the kitchen. I watch, puzzled, as he searches for something in my cupboards. When he finds what he was looking for, I hear clattering before he finds something else and the hum of my coffee bean grinder begins to fill my ears.

I walk over to my friend, chuckling. "Is that the first thing you think of when you wake up, Gaara? Coffee?"

He speaks indirectly at me, "Of 'course. I can't wake up (or stay awake) without it," while scooping some of the ground beans out of the grinder and into my hardly-ever-used coffee maker. I'm surprised I still had some coffee beans lying around, let alone that Gaara found them so quickly.

"It's awfully early," I say abruptly. "I can't believe I'm awake. But I can believe you are; after all, you didn't sleep for years, so it makes sense that you only need a little sleep before you're up and about –"

"Naruto," he says, cutting me off. "Must you be so talkative first thing in the morning?"

"Oops, sorry; I'll be quiet." I nod uncomfortably.

"That's all I ask," he replies while adding water to the machine and flipping it on.

At the same time as the smell of brewing coffee wafted through the air, I decided to play chef and make Gaara (and myself) breakfast before we split and did what we had to for the remainder of the day. I decided to go for pancakes; it was the only thing I was careful enough with not to burn. That, and I personally was in the mood for them.

As soon as Gaara saw what I was up to, he opened his mouth and I knew exactly what was coming. "You_ will_ be hungry by the time I'm done, and you _will_ eat it, even if I have to shove the pancakes down your throat. You need energy for those meetings later today!"

By glancing over my shoulder, I see him nearly roll his eyes. "Fine, have it your way, but coffee is usually my morning meals."

"Not when you're in my house it's not! Wait, speaking of which… how did you end up at my house?"

Gaara's eyes go soft but his face remains the same. "After you fell asleep, I didn't want to leave. So I just fell asleep along with you."

I hastily turn back around to my task at hand, not wanting him to see how that teeny comment affected me; and by 'affect', I mean making me blush faintly. But not unnoticeably faint. I clear my throat. "So… do you like anything on your pancakes? Personally, I put some jam or syrup on mine, depending on what I'm craving that morning…"

"Peanut butter." Gaara says simply.

I look at him incredulously. "Peanut butter? On pancakes?"

"With sliced bananas. It tastes good together. And syrup, if it's not too sweet."

I chuckle and pour some of the batter I had made in a prepared pan. Two creamy circles form on the buttered surface, causing the pan to make a handful of sizzling noises. "If you say so, but I don't have any bananas. I do have peanut butter somewhere around here…" I drifted off as I flipped the pancakes.

The coffee machine makes a sound, signaling that the brew inside it was done. Gaara stands from his seat and turns off the machine, pouring himself a hefty mug of coffee. I noticed that he dropped sugar into it, but not much and didn't ask for cream or milk. "Do you want any?" he asks, not looking at me.

I shake my head. "Nah, I usually don't drink coffee. I only have it here because it's good at making fresh tea. As for the coffee beans… Lee gave them to me. Says it powers your chakra; more like, it just makes you super hyper. I have no doubt that Lee slugs down a few glasses of it every morning!" I chuckle, flipping more pancakes that I had poured. After a minute or two, I added them to the growing pile on the plate I had beside the oven.

The redhead just sips his caffeinated drink and stares at nothing in particular. I sigh, focusing on finishing up the last of the pancakes. After turning off the heat on the pan, I set the steaming plate of sweet, flat, bread on the table in front of Gaara. I get out the necessary utensils and toppings, and some milk for myself before taking a seat across from him. I serve myself and watch as he does the same, scooping peanut butter out of the jar and spreading it lightly over the lone pancake on his plate. He adds a dash of syrup before cutting off a bite with his fork and shoving it in his mouth. Gaara felt my stare on him, but before he can look at me I shift my concentration to topping my own pancakes.

After eating for a few minutes I silence, I reach for my glass of milk. But as I'm taking a sip, I feel the table shake. I look over my glass at Gaara, who at the moment starts laughing silently. Even though he made hardly any noise, I could tell by his grin that he was laughing. I frown at him. "What's so funny, dattebayo?"

He immediately calms down, and his smile gets smaller, but his eyes still looked very amused. "This situation; can't you see what this looks like?"

I shrug. "Not really. Kami forbid you tell me what it looks like!"

"Never mind, it's much too stupid."

"Tell me, Gaara! What's so funny about his situation?" I ask, nearly begging for the answer. I hate it when people don't tell me what's going on.

"Anou… you're cooking for me, and we woke up together, and… It just reminds me of a housewife and her spouse," my friend admits finally. His face tints pink as he looks down at his food. He then decidedly shoves another mouthful in.

I start giggling nervously, which is probably what Gaara's silent laughter had been. "Th-that really is stupid! Don't think like that, it makes me feel… um…"

"Humiliated? I feel the same way at a thought like that," he tells me, finishing off the last of his coffee. "So don't worry, I won't be saying something like that again."

I jut out my lower lip. "You better not," I mumble. _Because part of me wouldn't mind living with you like this for… _But I cut my thoughts off, feeling idiotic and girly. _Just because I said that I loved him doesn't make him my… _And again I cut my thoughts off, only this time due to lack of words. What was Gaara to me now? To say 'lover' would make it sound… perverted, but saying 'boyfriend' would make it sound too casual. And 'crush' wasn't right, because he felt the same way in return. Without meaning to, I ask aloud, "What do I call you now?"

Gaara looks up at me, baffled at my random words. "Pardon?"

I smile awkwardly and scratch my cheek. "Eh heh, that wasn't supposed to come out."

"But what did you mean by it?" he inquires, his head tilting ever so slightly to his right. Now that I had admitted to liking him, I didn't dither to think: _Oh God, it's so cute when he does that. _

"Oh, uh, er…" I stumbled on how to explain it to him. To take my mind off of it, I stood and took my plate to the sink to rinse the sticky leftovers from it. "You see, I was thinking… about… what I had said last night, and thought that it doesn't really make you my 'friend' anymore, but something… else, you know? But… I don't know what it makes you. I can't say 'boyfriend' because… like… it's too casual and sounds really, really gay, and 'crush' doesn't fit since you like me back, and… um…"

It took Gaara's pale hand on my own to realize that I had been scrubbing the plate so hard with a rag under the hot water that the paint on it was flaking off. "Why don't you think about that while you clean up? I'm going to shower and leave soon for those treaty meetings."

"Oh… okay…" I gradually state, my eyes blinking at his calm face. I noted that his eyes were shining slightly, as if he was in high spirits on the inside. It must have rubbed off on me, because as soon as he let go on my hand and walked away, I found a toothy grin plastered on my features.

* * *

In a sense, Gaara always knew the day his feelings were returned would be the day his relationship with Naruto changed. Yet he found himself thinking that it would never change, except maybe the physical contact may be a little different than when they were plainly 'best friends'. It seemed to Gaara that the only difference in being in love and being close friends is the _need_ for their presence; the redhead had never felt the need for someone before, let alone the want for someone. When you're very close to somebody in friendly terms, you want nothing more than to hang out with them and talk to them, because otherwise you feel bored and alone. But when you're in love, you feel a strong need – a **desire** – to have that person right along side you, holding you, whispering to you, or even kissing you. Gaara was a tad shy about those feelings, but they were there, no matter how deeply they were buried. And he wondered if Naruto felt the same exact way.

And what the blonde had been trying to say earlier that morning really got Gaara thinking the same thing; what was Naruto to him now? They will always be best friends, even if they fell out of love (although Gaara doubted he would), but what else were they now? Sitting in the treaty meetings, the Kazekage gave his preeminent to stay focused and give out as much of his opinion as he could, but he was holding back due to these precise thoughts.

Across Konohakagure in the training grounds with Kakashi and Yamato (with Sai once again out of sight, drawing), Naruto was following Kakashi-sensei's instructions as best he could, but his thoughts were also preoccupied. Nearly for the same reason, although there was some things else; like getting around to telling Sakura and maybe even Tsunade about his father, or how he came to be in love with Gaara, or why this training was suddenly making him so dizzy…

Yamato straightened up as he called out Kakashi's name. "I think we have a problem…"

"What is it?" the masked nin asks, cocking his head to the left at the brunette.

"I think Naruto's in trouble; he's not focusing his chakra enough to remain stabilized. If he keeps this up without a break, we'll be seeing red… if you know what I mean."

"Alright, alright, I got ya," Kakashi says with a nod and a wave of the hand. "Yo, Naruto!" he calls, and the hundreds of clones all stare up at him. "Why don't we take a break? It's after noon and I'm starved," he lies, his one visible eye smiling.

"But… I was just getting the hang of it…" the blonde complains.

"Aw, come on, you can get right back to it after some lunch. The training isn't going anywhere, and neither is my growling stomach. So let's take a short break and come back, okay?"

"Meh… fine…" Naruto grumbles, releasing his clones. His head spins and he sees stars for a moment, but he doesn't pass out. _Thank God! _Naruto thinks for a split second.

Yamato sighs with relief and stands, cracking his knuckles. "Bring me back some sushi, will you?" he requests with a flippant smile.

"Sure thing!" Kakashi tells him, one thumb up in the air.

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei, how d'ya think I'm doing on this training, 'ttebayo?" Naruto asks as their food gets served to them about a half hour from when they left the grounds.

"Oh, well, now that you mention it… I think you're too distracted, causing you to use your chakra unwisely."

The blonde's jaw drops slightly before he gets angry. "I'm doing the best I can! And I'm totally not distracted!"

Kakashi shakes his head. "Naruto, I've trained plenty of people, especially you, throughout the years; I know when someone's mind isn't on their work. So, I thought, I'd treat you to lunch and talk to you about it. What's eating at your mind?"

Naruto doesn't respond at first, just grumbles: "Speaking of eating, you're not."

Kakashi chuckles. "I really wasn't all that hungry; food was just an excuse to stabilize your energy and talk to you. So how about it? Mind confessing something to your sensei?"

"Yes, I do mind," the blonde snaps, chopsticks full of food meeting with his mouth. While the bite of food and his teeth became thoroughly acquainted, Naruto tried to decide how to tell Kakashi his situation; because as much as he seemed to protest, he did want to enlighten someone about what he was thinking. Naruto had hopes for some good advice. So, carefully, he swallowed and chose his first words. "Well… maybe it couldn't hurt to say a small something about it to you…"

"That's just what I wanted to hear," Kakashi grinned.

"Although I'd feel more comfortable talking to Iruka-sensei about it…" _Since love is a thing you usually talk about with your father, which Iruka-sensei sort of became to me... _he finished in his mind.

"Wouldn't we all; Iruka isn't the type to judge like I can be."

"…But I guess I can still talk to you about it. See, **after **I found out some information –"

"Wait, what kind of information?" Kakashi says suddenly, going into alert.

Naruto smirks. Maybe he could get Tsunade to know through Kakashi; he was sure to tell her if he said anything… "Oh, just something interesting about my father. I know who he is now."

Even with most of his face covered, Naruto could see Kakashi's face pale. "You… do? Who told you?!"

The blonde winced. "Kyuubi did, actually."

Gray eyes blink at cerulean blue, completely confused. "Huh? How?"

While rubbing the back of his head, Naruto replies: "Um… I can talk to him sometimes. Especially in my dreams, which is where I found out about my dad. You knew who he was all along, didn't you? Why didn't you even tell me? – Why didn't anyone ever tell me?!"

Kakashi sighed and massaged his temples. "We weren't allowed to. After the 3rd heard what had happened, he demanded that everyone who knew about the Kyuubi situation was to keep it a secret. With both of your parents dead and a demon locked inside of you, they feared, if you were old enough, you'd be outraged for what happened to you and the Nine Tails might reveal itself through you."

"'What happened to me'? You mean having my own father force a demon into my body and being orphaned because of it? Come on, Kakashi, I think knowing who my parents were and what really happened to them would make me less angry than never knowing. It's been bothering me for years now who my parents were and what they looked like. It makes sense now that the Yondaime Hokage was my father; after the pictures I've caught of him, he looks just like me."

"You actually resemble your mother more," Kakashi says softly. "You have her shape of eyes and face, and even her hands."

Naruto pauses. "What did my mother look like? And what was her name?"

"She was beautiful; she had strawberry blonde hair, vibrant teal eyes, and a kind smile; but don't let that fool you, she was very tough and was hardly girly. She loved you very, very much; she couldn't wait to give birth to you. I was younger then and was busy, but I when I did stop to say hello to my old sensei and your mother, I remember her smiling and asking if I wanted to feel the baby kick in her stomach. I always passed, because personally that kind of thing wasn't my style, but she would always laugh and say I was missing out. Do you know how you got your name?"

"From the steamed fish-paste cake, sliced to decorate soup?" the blonde guessed weakly.

"No, silly; you were named after the main character in one of Jiraiya-sama's books, since Jiraiya was Minato's mentor."

Naruto blinked. "Wait, I'm named after some porn book's main character?!"

"It's not porn!" Kakashi retorts. "And it was an earlier novel of his, a mystery thriller. He can write things that aren't romantic, you know."

"Oh…" Naruto says lowly. "But what was my mother's name?"

"Uzumaki Kushina," Kakashi said fondly. "You're lucky to have her and Namikaze-sensei as your parents."

"No I'm not," the blonde sighs glumly. "Because they're not even here right now. How can I feel lucky when –"

"Right before your father died, do you know what he said?"

Naruto rolls his eyes. "Pray tell what he said."

"He asked that the villagers of Konoha not to see Naruto for the monster within him but as a hero who saved the entire town."

"Well, that didn't quite play out according to plan, now, did it?" Naruto scoffed. "Still… that's really nice of him…"

"He cared a lot about you, Naruto, and don't you forget that. Even if they're not here, your parents still love you. Which brings me to ask: Is that all you were worried about?"

"Eh heh," Naruto laughed nervously. "Not entirely, but that's all really good to know."

Kakashi's right eye seemed to sparkle. "Well then, we still have some time; tell me what else you were thinking about."

The blonde had been dreading this portion of the conversation, because he knew it would come down to this eventually. He went for the innocent approach by posing a question: "Have you even been in love, sensei?"

"Whoa, is that what the other thing is about? Maybe I better not pry for this one; love really isn't my forte, you know?"

Naruto sighed. "I was afraid of that. Never mind, then."

"Whatever's bugging you in that category I hope you fix soon, because we still have a whole half of a day to train, and I can't have you sidetracked!" Kakashi says with mock scorn, waving a finger at his pupil.

"Hai," Naruto nods, pushing his empty plate away. "Now, um, should we order some sushi to go for Yamato-taichou?"

"That might be a good idea…" the silver-haired man sweat drops. Inwardly, he was already thinking of what to say to Tsunade about Naruto knowing of his parents. _It's not too important that he knows,_ Kakashi realizes, _but the Hokage should still be informed for personal reasons._


	20. I Can’t Let Go

**A/N: huhu, my mom and her crazy oldies songs. i wake up at 10:30 (okay, so i was awake sonce 9:30 but i just didn't want to get out of my warm, soft bed... i love laying around too much. i'm such a lazy ass) to hear this song from God knows what era. it has this sort of... "do di do di dooo", slow-dancing feel to it. BUT, ironically, the lyrics fit my fanfic so well! here are some of the them:**

**"Now, I told you so you ought to know  
It takes some time for a feeling to grow  
You're so close now I can't let you go  
And I can't let go  
With you I'm not shy to show the way I feel  
With you I might try my secrets to reveal  
For you are a magnet and I am steel**

**"I can't hope that I'll hold you for long  
You're a woman **(cough, in this case 'a man', coughcough) **who's lost in your song  
But the love that I feel is so strong  
And it can't be wrong..."**

**- 'Magnet and Steel' by Walter Egan**

**OMG it fits so well (aside form the 'woman' part), right? Gaara is like steel because he doesn't show much emotion, and this chapter was ALREADY titled "I Can't Let Go" before i even heard this song, andand you can point out all the other ways these lyrics fit. THANK GOD FOR MY MUM AND HER OLDIES MUSIC. seriously. **

**P.S. ever since the last chapter, this story has become my fic with the most words. WOW.**

* * *

It wasn't before long that Naruto was exhausted. Sakura rolled her eyes at him and handed the blonde a cold cloth to dab at the sweat on his face, neck and back. "You'd think Kakashi-sensei had you running laps with how tired you are," she grins, tossing her bubblegum-pink hair over one shoulder.

Naruto chuckles. "Yeah, I know. He basically was; I just wasn't running with my feet…"

Her seafoam green orbs scan his face, the years of friendship knowing when something's bothering him. "Naruto, did something happen? You're not usually this tired after training…" she hints.

"Oh, um, regarding that; I have some stuff to talk to you about, Sakura-chan. I just hope we can get to all of it before I have to pick up Gaara."

"Oh, that's right!" Sakura says, snapping her fingers. "Tsunade-sama made you his bodyguard." She smirks. "How does he feel about that? I never got to ask you about how it went these past couple days."

The kitsune fiddles with his fingers, reminding Sakura vaguely of Hinata. "That's actually one of the things I wanted to discuss."

"Really? Well then, mister, you better spill! I want to know everything!"

"In that case…" Naruto inhaled deeply before shooting off into a hurried rant. "At first I was really mad at Tsunade-baasama, although I realized it was just the chance I needed to apologize to Gaara for running away, so I did; but then he kissed me again and I don't know why but I kind of liked it! And that's when he went back to the hotel and the next day I kind of collapsed on him after training and fell asleep in his lap which was really embarrassing and to cover it up I asked what he wanted to do while I was bodyguard-ing him and listed all these suggestions, but he just HAD to pick swimming! So we went swimming in the lake by the old Uchiha clan houses and it was really fun but I said something and he got out of the water and stormed off. I followed him and asked what was wrong but he said that I was wrong because I was hurting him with mixed messages, so I hugged him and told him I loved him and for some reason I found that it was totally true!"

While Naruto sat panting, Sakura blinked a few times while her brain processed his speedy version of what's been happening. She was surprised when he had even more to say:

"But then we ended up at my house and I fell asleep on the sofa, and Gaara fell asleep with me since he can now since his demon's gone and I kind of wonder what he dreamt about. When he woke up he made coffee and I made breakfast and it was really weird, like we were a married couple or something, which Gaara mentioned and it made me blush because I sort of wouldn't mind that, even though I always used to think I'd grow up and marry you, but now that seems really far-fetched because I know you've never liked me that way and now I'm not sure if I even feel the same way about anything anymore!" He finished, finally done with his embarrassing rant.

Sakura laughed whole-heartedly after all that, her pink hair tickling her cheeks while she shook. "Woooow," she said slowly, dragging out her astonishment. "Talk about 'saying a mouthful'!" She giggles, "You sure have been holding that in, Naruto."

His face looks red as he glances down. "Sure, laugh it up, but you have to help me… what do I do when I have to go and meet him at the Hokage Tower?"

"Personally," she thinks aloud, "If I were you, I'd scoop him up and kiss him on the cheek."

"N-nani?! I'm not going to do that!" the blonde retorts, flustered heat rising to his already pink skin.

His friend grins. "I knew you wouldn't like that, that's why I said it! But seriously, I think you should do something special together now that you're official."

"Official? Oi, just because I return his feelings doesn't make it official…"

"Then what does make it official? You tell me," Sakura counters, and she gets him stuck. With a sigh, the medical ninja proposes: "Why don't you take the Kazekage to a movie? Or, better yet, out to dinner?"

Naruto hangs his head. "I'm pretty much broke, and I already tried dinner the first night; it ended badly because I couldn't apologize in public, and Gaara was being a little… cold. And quiet. So I dragged him out of there and apologized somewhere else."

"Oh, well, hmm… there's always a stroll in the park!" she says weakly. "Or you guys could –"

"That's okay, Sakura-chan, I'll think of something. Thanks anyway," he says dully, standing up. He was about to leave, but then he remembered something: "Oh! Sakura-chan, do you know who my dad was?"

She frowned at his question. "Iiya; I don't think anyone does."

"Well, someone did, and I found out… it was the 4th Hokage."

Sakura's eyes grow wide and she stands up almost immediately, disbelief filling her face. "You're shitting me, right?"

"Nope," Naruto says, holding back a smile. Her reaction was funnier than Kakashi's. "I just thought you should know. It gives me all the more reason to be the 6th Hokage, doesn't it?" He doesn't hold back the smile after say that.

The pink-haired girl's features soften, the shock leaving her. Inner Sakura wanted to hit him upside the head and ask why he hasn't said anything about it to her before, and that it was a stupid reason to be the next Hokage, and things of that nature, but outwardly she just twitched once and grinned. "It sure does. Now go get Gaara-sama, you lovesick fool!"

Naruto grumbled something about not being lovesick before heading out and stepping unconfidently onto the street.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I probably should have waited for Naruto, but today's meetings were weighing heavily on me, and all I wanted was to get out of the building and away from them. There had been what you might call a 'heated debate' over trade options, which is something about politics I never knew existed when it came to verifying the details of a treaty. Apparently, my own council wanted a lot more of a percentage than they had told me, and Konoha's council members argued that they deserve the same percentage from us if that's the case. There were other things that got tossed into the dispute, but I hardly wanted to recap all of it in my mind. At the moment, I was suffering from a reasonable migraine.

To ease my aching head, I decided to get some fresh air. _A walk in the park should do the trick,_ I figured. I didn't need directions since it was a rather easy place to find, a trail leading from some playground equipment into some shrubbery and from there down towards the lake. Vaguely, I thought of how lonely someone like Naruto would have been at that very playground when growing up; I had a sinking feeling that no one would play with him much. Just like me and the kids in Sunakagure playing ball…

I shook my head, my red hair briefly tickling my scar at the motion. I kept walking, the aroma of dirt, leaves and water rising to meet my nose. Along the way, I spotted a yellow-topped weed growing on the edge of the trail. I picked it by the stem and studied it's color in the setting sun, thinking of how the shape and shade reminds me of Naruto's hair. It was obviously a plant that can't grow naturally in the Sand, but I still know it's name: dandelion. Even though it was mistaken for a flower, it was nothing but a weed that grew wherever it could. I immediately took back what I said of it reminding me of Naruto's hair; this plant didn't deserve such a nice relation. Without thinking about it, I twirled the weed in my fingers while I walked. The sun got lower and lower in the sky…

Faintly, I heard someone yelling. I ignored it, because it could be a yell for any reason. I kept my eyes on the glittering surface of the lake, which looked so calm. I walked slowly passed, hearing again that yelling; it was beginning to bug me. If they get any closer, I swear my headache will split my skull.

"–Ra!"

"Eh?" I murmur, stopping in my tracks. For some reason, that yelling just now sounded like the last syllable of my name.

"–Aara!"

I continue walking. Although that last one definitely sounded like part of my name, but it could be anyone else still. Come to think of it, Nara Shikamaru has an 'aara' sound in his last name, so someone could be calling him and not me.

"Dammit! Where the hell are you?!"

I slowed my pace. That voice… it was still yelling, but I recognized it this time. "Naruto…?" I say cautiously, loud enough to be heard without raising my voice into a shout.

"Gaara, was that you? Gaara!"

I turn around, peeking from behind a wide tree. My eyes meet up with Naruto's, and he smiles at me while jogging over to where I was. "Kami, Gaara, you really scared me! I'm glad you're all right! When the old hag hadn't known where you were, I freaked out thinking you could've been kidnapped or something again! Don't do that to me, okay? I don't care how boring it gets; wait for me, dattebayo."

I blinked slightly in surprise. "I… apologize. I… I won't do it a second time."

His face relaxes into a small, warm grin. "Good. Now, uh, I have to… you know… watch over you and stuff… so what do you want to do?"

"Walk with me," I say evenly, suppressing the urge to kiss his cheek. It felt nice to know that he'd been worried about me.

"Hn," he mutters, nodding his head. He falls in step with my pace, but again he makes a face like he had in Suna a few months ago.

"Nani?" I ask, looking over at him.

"You're graceful when you walk, and I'm clumsy and casual. It infuriates me," he declares. He puts his hands behind his head and pouts. "I wish I could walk like that; people might think I'm less of a ditz."

"But it's because of your ditzy behavior that so many people like you. To them, it's just how you are. If you were to change that fact, well, I can't even think of what would happen."

"By 'change', do you mean like… if I sucked up my immaturities and became all serious like you or Sasuke?"

I nod my head. "Somewhere in that range, yes; although I doubt you'd ever change to be like the Uchiha."

"Humph. I meant the _old _Sasuke that I knew; not the new, revenge-thirsty Sasuke that I found recently."

"Oh? Then which 'me' did you mean?"

Naruto chuckles slightly. "Definitely not the murderous one!"

"I'd shudder to think what kind of killing machine you'd make," I say lowly. In any other tone it would sound humorous, but the way it came out it sounded on the brink of fearful.

Naruto mistook my tone for something else, though. "Uh, not that you were that bad back then… 'killing machine' is a little harsh… you were just, uh, confused."

He actually had a point there. "Indeed I was. But you helped straighten me out."

The kitsune gives a crooked smile. "Heh, I sure knocked some sense into you when we were younger; literally!"

One corner of my mouth tugs into a smile. "You sure did… arigato."

I liked the way his face changed then; it was partially self-conscious and partially something else I couldn't lay my finger on. "N-no need to thank me, Gaara… I was just protecting my teammates and my village, you know? Just following the ninja way I set up for myself…"

"I know," I affirm. Dully, my migraine throbbed, but I ignored it. I didn't want some insignificant pain to interrupt my time with my love. I had but days let until I would leave and not see him for who know how long…

There was a welcomed silence that followed, and we drifted off the trail and towards the streets. I took in a few long breaths of the settling night air through my nose, hoping to clear out some more of my headache. It was getting worse, it seemed.

Out of my peripheral vision I saw Naruto timidly inch closer, his hand brushing against mine. I both expected and didn't expect it when his fingers enclosed around my own. The sudden burst of warmth calmed my headache to a degree, and I felt a closed-lip smile break out on my face. It was odd how his calloused hands felt against mine, which I knew to be very soft for a ninja. It was from all the years of never using anything but sand to attack, aside form the occasional weapon. Naruto's hardworking hands, as I had anticipated, were rough compared to my own, but they felt subtly strong and with my hand, very kind.

"You know, I've wondered for a long time now what your hand would feel like if I held it," the blonde says to me, looking down at our hands. "But the thought always passed so quickly because it sounded… weird. But now it doesn't."

I knew precisely what he meant: before, he wouldn't have held my hand because it wasn't a thing guys do, even as friends; but now that we've expressed our feelings for one another, it didn't feel so wrong. Although, I bet he would've never held my hand in public. Now that the sun was down, Konohakagure was settling down to rest up for an early day some morning, which left him and me mostly alone out on the streets.

"Are we heading for your apartment?" I ask after a while.

"Oh… I guess we are. I didn't know that's where my feet were headed," Naruto says with a weak chuckle. "I could head for your hotel instead, if you want."

"No, that's alright; if you don't mind, I'd like to be with you a little longer before I go back to my hotel room."

He blinks for a moment at my honesty before coloring in the cheeks and shifting his gaze to straight ahead. "Er… okay."

More silence came after that, but my headache appreciated it. Although my heart didn't; I really wanted to talk to Naruto, specifically about families. My own had changed in odd ways throughout the years, but Naruto hardly had one to begin with; he only recently found out who his father had been, and that was a piece of information that couldn't seem to get out of my head. But, as much as I'd like to know more, the topic of 'family' was one thing I wanted Naruto to come to me to discuss. I didn't want to pry (I'm hardly the prying type) and I wanted him to _trust _me enough.

Within that silence, I felt Naruto idly begin playing with my fingers. He tapped on my knuckles or tickled the underside of my palm with his short nails. I squeezed his hand fondly, but he took it as though I wanted him to stop. When I noticed this, it irritated me; so in turn I tickled the underside of his palm, letting him know I didn't mind. To my disclosure, he started giggling. "Naruto," I say dubiously, "Are you ticklish there?"

He chuckles and nods to me. "Un. My palms, no matter how callused they got, always were a little ticklish. I found that out when I was younger and got a bug bite right here…" he raised his free hand and motioned with his middle finger a place off to the center of his palm near his thumb. "I tried to scratch it, but when I did it tickled."

I beam at him. "I'll have to remember that."

"What about you?" he asks, flashing me a crafty smile. "Are you ticklish anywhere, Gaara?"

"Not that I know of," I admit. "It's not like I've been in a situation to find out."

Oh no, I did not like the look Naruto got at that notion. It was very fox-like, scheming and devious.

I swallow hard and try to hide the nervousness from my face. "Wh-what are you thinking?"

"Oh, nothing…" the blonde says innocently enough, but I know better. "Just that… maybe…"

I let go of his hand and drift away slightly, seeing the gleam in his eyes. I hadn't been observing our surroundings, so I was surprised to find that we were right outside Naruto's apartment. I back into the door and open it, and in a blink Naruto turns on the lights.

"…I should put you in a situation to find out."

"Iiya, iiya, iiyaiiyaiiya!" I say repeatedly, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable.

Naruto just grins wildly and jumps me, pinning me to the hardwood floor. He kicks the door shut with one foot while the other tries to hold down my own kicking legs.

"Get off of me!" I growl, but the blush on my face contradicts my threat. "Naruto, I swear to Kami I'll –" but I was cut off by a bout of laughter. His hands had been under my arms and in my sides trying to find a ticklish spot, and I hadn't understood (my ever-shrinking migraine probably slowing my thoughts) how he had completed this feat; that is, until I looked up and saw two shadow clones trying to tickle me while the real Naruto pinned me down. It was a very awkward position to be in…

I had laughed, though, when he got to my stomach. Worse yet, it was my lower stomach, which is dangerously close to somewhere… else. But I could help but to laugh, quiet loudly, as his clones' slightly calloused fingertips grazed my flesh. Oddly, I felt something different: a tremor up my spine that shook me to **giggle**, something I don't think I've ever really done.

After Naruto with satisfied with causing tears to form in the corners of my eyes from laughing so much, his clones disappeared. Much too slow for my liking, he eased off of me and allowed me to sit up. With one or two short laughs leaving my system, I sat up and shakily tried to re-button my clothing. The kitsune just sat beside me, staring and grinning, as if he had won a contest of some sort. When my clothes were back in place, I turned to glare at him. I wanted to say something like: 'don't do that again' or 'how dare you' or 'if you tell anyone…' and generally be threatening, but somehow words didn't need to be said. He got the message (if not all three) from the look I gave him.

Immediately, he says, "Heh, sorry about that, Gaara… I was just curious… um, please don't kill me."

I smirk faintly. "I could never kill you, Naruto."

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better."

"That's because I'm already plotting my revenge."

"Kuso, I was afraid of that!" He was chuckling while he spoke, which showed he wasn't all that afraid.

"Laugh it up now, but you have every reason to be afraid. I am merciless."

"I beg to differ," he says softly, his tone making my demeanor change. Another tremor goes up my spine, but it felt more like a shiver from the cold than another giggle. My heads swims, partly from the blood rushing to it when I was on the ground and partly from my still-present headache. Naruto catches the way my eyes flutter, and he asks with concern, "Are you all right?"

I nod. "Just a leftover headache. I'll be fine…"

"Shoot, did I give you one? Gomen!"

I shake my head (which seems to be the only movements I was able to do at the moment). "I've had it since the end of the treaty meetings; there was some… difficulties in the middle of it, and all the shouting gave me a headache. It'll pass soon enough."

Naruto gets a determined look on his face. "I'm going to make you some tea to make you feel better. I think I even have some painkillers somewhere around here –"

"No medicine, please," I insist. "I hate what it does to me."

"Um, alright, if you say so. But I'm still making you that tea!" And on that note, he gets up and heads for the kitchen.

I stand slowly and make my way to the couch, slumping into it's cushions. It was strange, but I felt so at home here. Although this morning with Naruto felt a little too at home; like I had said, it felt very… couple-like. But is that what we were now? A 'couple' of sorts?

Not after long I had a steaming cup of tea in my hands and Naruto beside me on the couch, the television playing a cartoon I vaguely recognized. "I changed my mind," he says suddenly, his line of sight directed at the TV. "I think I want you to spend the night again. You can have my bed and I'll sleep right here on the couch. Your siblings won't care, right?"

On the contrary, Temari had visited me at lunch today and had demanded why I didn't make it back to the hotel the previous night. When I had told her where I spent the night, she raised an eyebrow and (in a very suggestive manner) asked what I was doing at Naruto's home at night. When I finally got what she had meant, I hastily assured her it wasn't like **that**, only sheer coincidence that I had spent the night. Yet here I was being asked, on purpose, to stay. And how could I refuse? "I don't think they will. But I feel a little uncomfortable –"

"Come on, Gaara, it's not like I'm sharing the bed with you. I'll be all the way out here in the living room. It's just… now that I have you here, I kind of can't let go of you." He seemed so sincere, and I was probably flushing a nice shade of pink.

In the end I agreed to it, overly happy inside. Did someone like me deserve happiness like this? And… how long will it last?

That last thought was answered straight away: _It'll only last as long as you're in Konoha. When you go back to Suna, you'll be without him again and the happiness will wane. _

How depressing.

* * *

**A/N: my palms are ticklish. what about yours? try scratching lightly at the base of your palm right above your wrist and near your thumb... does it tickle? mine does, heehe. so i kind of made Naruto ticklish there whether he is or not. among other places... JUST KIDDING. you were thinking somewhere dirty, weren't you?! (like his inner thigh...? kukuku, that's a great ticklish spot for a guy... -m****ischievous **smirk- )


	21. I Smell Fireworks

**A/N: IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, i demand you do see this picture (take out the spaces):** _red-priest-usada. deviantart. com/art/At-Konoha-Festival-51090624 _**(it applies to the chapter in a weird way. so go see it! although Gaara's kimono, in my mind, looks a lot different than that. but i still like the one he's wearing in that drawing; and Tem-chan looks so0o0o0o pretty!! )**

**kukukuku! -evil laughter-**

**i have decided to make this a T-rated fic because i'm going to incorporate a make-out scene into this. you see, i wanted heavier kissing and so did Mariana-sama, so we're gonna have it dammit! -more evil laughter- KUKUKUKUKU!**

**OMG THIS HAS MORE REVIEWS THAN CASTLE OBLIVION IDOL (another popular Kingdom Hearts fic of mine). -bows- ARIGATOUUUUU!!**

**P.S. i got a plot bunny for another fic. as soon as this one is complete, i'm going to post it; i already have some of it written, which is the reason for my delay on this chapter. the next fic is AU and NaruGaa, but also has other pairings sprinkled on top. be on the look out for it; it's going to be titled 'Detrimental Benefits' (which is, yes, an oxymoron). **

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

As I woke up in the morning, I mark off on my fingers the number of days Gaara has been here and how many he has left. Let's see: ich, ni, san… Chikushou! That's already 3 days and 3 of the 4 meetings gone by. There was only today and tomorrow left… and then Gaara and all the other people of Sunakagure would be leaving before dawn the day after.

As I woke up even more, I gradually began to smell coffee beans. _Gaara must already be awake,_ I think hazily as my eyes adjust to the light. There was shuffling in the kitchen, and I took that as a confirmation to my guess. "Gaara…?" I say, more to let him know I'm awake than asking who's there.

"I'm in here," he replies. "How do you like your eggs?"

"Eh?" I grunt as I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes.

"I'm cooking eggs. How do you like them prepared?"

"Oh," I yawn. "Um, scrambled is fine."

I hear the cracking of eggshell and sizzles from the pan as the egg settles onto it. I head for the bathroom to do morning's usual business, stopping to smile tiredly at Gaara before going down the hall.

When I emerge, having done my business, washed my face and woke up some more, I find Gaara sitting at the table. He had this morning's paper in one hand and his mug of coffee in the other. When he heard me come in, he gestured to the seat across from him at some scrambled eggs, flawlessly yellow-orange with tints of white, which sat steaming. There was even a glass of orange juice next to the plate. A bright smile crosses my face. "Arigato!"

He shrugs and returns to reading whatever article he'd been reading before I had walked in. In opposition, I was sitting down to eat what he had made for me. This, come to think of it, was really courteous of him; seeing as how he's **my** guest and all.

"So…" I say after half my eggs were gone. "You have the last of those treaty meetings to attend today. That's a relief."

"To an extent," he replies dully, if not forlornly.

I roll my eyes and sigh. Sometimes Gaara was just a bit too pessimistic. "Gaara," I say in my 'come _on_' tone. "If it makes you feel any better, Konoha was going to have a festival tonight to celebrate the completion of the treaty with Suna."

"How does that make me feel better? I'm not one for large crowds," he says dryly, and I want to smack him.

"It'll make you feel better **because**… I want you to be my date." I emphasize the word 'because' so that he'd catch my next set of words. Apparently, he caught them too well.

"D-date?" he sputters, choking on the sip of coffee he had put in his mouth. He coughed a few times before redeeming himself. "You want me to be your date to the festival?"

"Yup," I say with a wink and a smile. "I hope you brought your best kimono!"

"Er… I didn't," he mutters, hiding his face behind the newspaper.

I crush the paper to the table, looking him in the eye. "Then borrow one of mine or have your sister take you shopping, because you're coming with me and that's final."

"Demo…"

"Ah-ah!" I grin, waving my pointer finger at the redhead. "No 'but's. It'll be fun and cheer you up. Now, I have to go train with Kakashi and you have that meeting, but afterwards – at 5:00 sharp! – we're going out… only for real this time."

The color that flooded his cheeks at the suggestion made me think immediately of Hinata, who for some reason I felt like I was letting down by going with Gaara to the festival tonight. Oh well, she should be fine; I bet Kiba will take her. He lies about it a lot, but even I can tell that he likes her. Who knows, maybe Shikamaru will have the guts to ask Temari to go with him… on second thought, that wouldn't be like him. If anything, _Temari _would ask _him,_ despite the 'I'm better than all the guys' attitude she has. And more than likely Shika will accept because it would be too 'troublesome' to have her nag him to say yes.

With that I got dressed and went out the door, leaving Gaara to smile incongruously in the kitchen.

* * *

The day came to a close rather adequately; unlike the tension in the meeting room from yesterday, everything had gone smoothly and the last of the papers were sighed. Gaara and Tsunade shook hands, and the members of both councils cheered. Finally, **finally**, they would put their differences to rest and be trustworthy allies.

When 4:00 came around, Gaara was at the hotel with Temari, attempting to ask to go shopping. He had to first explain why he never made it back to the hotel for the second night in a row, but after that he was free to ask for her assistance. As soon as he had said it, Temari was grinning deviously and poking fun at him. "Ooh, and **why** does my baby brother want to go shopping?"

He backhands her twirling, pointing finger and puts on a serious face. "For a kimono. I never had a reason to own something so nice, but there's a festival here in Konoha tonight and I'd like to not be wearing my Kazekage robes or the clothing i use to do battle in."

Temari's smug look doesn't disappear after that information. Instead, her grin broadens ear to ear. "You have a date." She states this so simply, as if it were obvious. Was it so obvious?

"Perhaps I do. I'm not telling you, though; you'll find out one way or another anyhow. For now, could you just help me choose a suitable kimono to wear?" the redhead sighs, trying to calm his racing heart. In about an hour, he was going to be on a… _date_… with Naruto. The idea of it seemed almost too good to be true.

"Are you kidding? Of 'course I'll help you, Gaa-nii! But don't let Kankurou find us; you and I will never hear the end of it."

Gaara nods, knowing this to be all too truthful. Technically, if the situation were different, he'd be never hearing the end of it from Temari; but since she was involved this time around, he was safe.

"Hmm, let's see now… we need to find a shop that sells nice clothes like kimonos and such…" the blonde girl says, tugging out her ponytails and looping the bands around her wrist. "And we need to figure out your color. What color do you think you'll look good in?" As soon as she had asked, she took it back. "Never mind, you wouldn't know. But I'll help you figure it out!"

They came across said type of clothing depot, finding Ino inside gazing at some of the dresses they had. As soon as she saw Temari and Gaara walk in, her pupil-less eyes light up. "Oh! Temari-san, and Gaara-sama! How are you?"

"Fine, thanks," Temari says politely. Her hands and eyes falls to some of the red and orange kimonos nearby. "What about red, Gaara? Nah, it would clash with your hair…"

"Are you shopping for kimonos for the festival tonight?" Ino asks excitedly. "I was just picking out something for myself."

"We are, actually. Oi, Gaara, do you think I'll look good in lavender? Wait, that's a bit too girly for me… Maybe a darker shade of purple isntead."

"Want some help? I'm great with fashion," Ino says proudly. "Like, Gaara-sama, I think you would look good in navy blue or black with accents of just the right fire colors… or green! Green would look great with your hair and your complexion."

"Iiya, I'm fine with Temari's advi–"

"That's great! Why didn't I think of green?" Temari says with a wink to Ino. "Thanks!"

"Demo… I don't like green very mu–" Gaara tried again, but to no avail.

"Wait! They have turquoise, and it matches your eyes perfectly. And look, Gaa-nii, the red embroidered into these flowers match your hair! And the green sash is a nice shade, too…" Temari bubbled, and Ino was nodding along side her.

"Oh, make him try this one on! It's just the right shade of navy blue, I think… plus, it has the same reds and green sash as the turquoise one, but with yellow accents on the embroidery." Ino suggests, holding out a kimono slightly too long for Gaara.

"Okay, but he'll need pretty high wooden sandals for that one," his sister chuckles, taking the navy one from Ino's hand and slinging it over one arm. "Come on, nii-chan, we have to pick one of these out!"

He sighs and follows his sister into the changing rooms. Now he knew why Naruto had said shopping with Sakura was so… well, tiresome.

He ended trying on 5 of the silky robes before choosing the slightly-too-long navy one Ino had suggested. The man at the counter said he would hem it free of charge since Gaara was the Kazekage. Temari smiled brightly at this and paid the man after he had finished shortening the bottom. She checked the clock above the cash register counter before leaving the store. "Shit, Gaara, we have to get you showered and all nice before 5:00, and it's already 4:43!"

For what felt like the 100th time that evening, the redhead sighed. "That's alright, I can just –"

And, for the 100th time, he was cut off. "That won't do, Gaara. You have to look your best, I insist! It's your first date, after all."

"I told you, I don't have a date –"

Interrupted again. "Yes you do, don't lie to me! Now hurry, we only have 15 minutes!"

Miraculously, within those 15 minutes, Temari was able to get Gaara to bathe, blow-dry his hair until it shone, rub fragrant lotion on his milky skin and get him suited up in his elegant kimono. She even stuck a few strands of beads in his hair using one of her clips to get them to stay in place behind his right ear. Even his scar looked healthier, perhaps due to the lotion she made him wear.

She smiled warmly at her little brother, her eyes soft. "Gaara," she murmured, lowering her hands to his thin shoulders, "You look so handsome."

The redhead flushed and shrugged her hands off. "What about you? Aren't you going to get into the kimono you bought?"

She winked. "Of 'course, but I take a lot longer to get ready; plus, I wanted to take care of you first. It's what big sisters do." With that she kissed him on the forehead, a show of affection she's never done before. Unless… unless, when Gaara had that slight fever all those months ago, a kiss by her on his scar had been the touch he had felt?

The beads by his ear jingled slightly while he walked out the door. He was feeling (without warning) dreadfully foolish. At that moment he wanted to tear off the beads and the kimono and wash away the scent of the lotion, kick off his shoes and run all the way back to dusty Suna. Why was he going out on a date, anyway? He had been right: it was too good to be true. This is a dream, right? Because, since when did Gaara go to parties with dates?! It sounded absurd to place his name in the middle of such a thought.

But, weakly, a tiny voice asked: _Why not? Why can't you be happy? Why can't you go to parties and have a date?_

And you know what? He liked the sound of that voice. He liked what it had to say, even if it spoke only in questions. Because, deep down, this was all Gaara had ever wanted: he had wanted a family (which Temari and Kankurou finally accepted the role of now that he wasn't so cruel), he had wanted to be respected (and was when he became Kazekage), and he had wanted to be loved (and is now, thanks to Naruto). Gaara at last realized: he has everything he's ever secretly wanted. And, for once, he was blissful; an emotion he never thought he'd reach.

Just then, Naruto came out from an alleyway, his eyes searching. When they landed on Gaara, the redhead stopped in his tracks and studied the reaction Naruto gave at the sight of him.

At first, the kitsune stared, unable to believe that what he was looking at was his love. But as he came closer, his eyes shone with confirmation; it was Gaara he was looking at. He looked so… different.

Gaara was also taking in Naruto dressed in his best, a rare sigh if any. His hair was down and hanging in his eyes, a sweet golden yellow against tan skin and vibrant cobalt orbs. The kimono he wore was simpler than Gaara's, and was black with orange, cream, and blue that matched his eyes. The neckline was low and showed some of his toned chest, along with the crystal-pendant necklace. The redhead tried not to gape, but Naruto didn't hold back in his own gawking.

Naruto came close to him, right there in the middle of the paper-lantern decorated streets, and nuzzled his nose into Gaara's neck, his hand finding it's way into the red locks of hair. "N-Naruto, what do you think you're doing…?"

"Smelling you," he replied, inhaling at the end. "You smell different. But good," he added, so not to offend. Because it was true; unlike Gaara's usual earthy scent, the kitsune could smell hints of jasmine, licorice, and… "Maplewood?" _At least he still has a hint of wood in his scent,_ Naruto thought to himself. _Although it's not sandalwood, it's still good._

He pulled away slightly to look at Gaara's face, which was redder than he's ever seen it. "Temari made me wear this ridiculous lotion, and the kimono shop was made of Maplewood, so…"

Naruto waves that aside. "Whatever. It smells nice. Now I wish I would have put something on," he beams.

"So you don't care? I mean, care that you just… in public…" Gaara mumbles, trying to find the right words.

"Not anymore; besides, you look so… that how can I not…?" Even Naruto was fumbling on what to say. After a moment or two, he laughs. "You have beads in your hair!"

Gaara reaches up, as if he had forgotten about them. "Temari put them there. I'll take them out –"

"Don't," the blonde boy says softly, lowering Gaara's hand. "I like them." He extended his elbow. "Shall I escort the Kazekage around the booths?"

Still blushing, Gaara nodded and took his arm. The sun was still relatively up in the sky, but that wouldn't last long; pretty soon dusk would fall and the dinner booths would be set out, chefs cooking under canopies of bright fabrics, steam rising up out of tiny tin chimneys. Pretty soon, after dusk had passed and the stars began to wink their eyes, fireworks would be set off and everyone would go up to the grassy knolls or down by the docks by the river in Konoha to sit and watch them.

Around that time, just before the fireworks were lit, fireflies began to show themselves. "We don't have fireflies," Gaara whispers as one lands on his wrist.

"I'd think not; it'd be hard for any bug to live in that climate," Naruto says lowly in return. "But that's what Konoha is for: all the things Sunakagure doesn't have you come here to have."

"Like you?" Gaara barely utters, but Naruto still hears him.

"Sure. And that's what Suna is for: all the things Konoha doesn't have, I go there for. Like you." There was a pause while Gaara looked away and released the lightning bug. "I smell fireworks," Naruto tells the redhead.

At first, Gaara thought he meant those sparks girls talk about between two people. The connection they sense when they're in love. But, as if on cue, the sky lights up with reds and whites and pinks, the sparkling flakes of colored fire cascading down over the horizon. "Beautiful," Gaara smiles.

A hand wraps around his in the grass, and the other repeats the word. "Very beautiful."

The redhead turns and looks at Naruto's shadowy face, the soft glow of the paper lanterns and fireworks being the only thing illuminating it. "Naruto?"

"Hai?"

"I'm going to kiss you, and you can't stop me," he says, rehearsing the words Naruto has told him to say days ago.

He blinks once or twice before grinning at the other boy. "Okay."

Gaara leans over and lifts his right hand (the one Naruto wasn't holding down) to the blonde's jaw, holding him in place. He rubs a finger over the tanned skin and marks of Naruto's cheek before smothering his lips with his own. Unlike all the other times, Naruto complied and reacted, something Gaara wasn't used to. The way they moved beneath his own lips, mouthing and sliding, so soft, so warm… it was better than anything Gaara had ever experienced.

Gingerly, a tongue slipped out to lick Gaara's lower lip, asking if he wanted to try something else. The redhead complied, opening his mouth to let the blonde explore.

At first, it was messy and full of too much saliva, both boys never having French-kissed anybody before. More fireworks went off, booms in the night sky that shook the two. But some of the shivers weren't from the noise, but from the touch of the other.

As they kept going, their tongues grew in sync, weaving over one another like Koi fish in a pond. Naruto tasted different that Gaara had expected; there was a warm, fiery spice about the other boy, like the hot rain in the summers of Suna. To Naruto, Gaara tasted like sheets of ice, or maybe that was mint? Regardless of his sandy background, he tasted cool and calm. Perhaps they didn't taste each other mouths; perhaps, this taste they found was from tasting their _souls_. Perhaps. But which ever it was, they two boys didn't care; it felt good to be in someone's arms, kissing them, and felt even better for that someone to be the other Jinchuuriki (well, in Gaara's case, post-Jinchuuriki).

They hadn't realized it until they pulled away to breathe that Gaara had forced Naruto to the ground, or that Naruto had peeled open the upper half of Gaara's kimono to investigate the skin that lay beneath. They also hadn't realized just how ragged their breathing had become until the sound of fireworks left the sky and all they could hear in that abrupt silence was one another. Gaara realized first that his kimono was open and the beads in his hair were on the ground, and he flushed and tried to right himself.

Naruto grinned crookedly and grabbed his hand. The redhead did not like what that fox-like grin was suggesting…

The kitsune toppled over him, pinning him to the ground. He didn't aim for Gaara's lips, either; he went straight for the underside of his jaw, a tender spot Gaara didn't even know he had. Naruto laced his fingers with Gaara's and held them high above their heads, pale knuckles meeting dewy grass.

The blonde's lips trailed down Gaara's neck, kissing and nibbling slightly here and there, instincts kicking in.

**"If you keep this up, you're going to suffocate the poor guy,"** Kyuubi chortled in Naruto's inner mind. The blonde ignored the demon and slowly licked the side of Gaara's neck down by his shoulder. He felt the redhead shudder pleasantly from tailbone up, a tiny noise escaping his pale lips. He decided to go in for the kill, to see what other noises he could make Gaara breathe out.

Naruto dipped his head down to Gaara's collar bone, sucking lightly from the center across to the base of his shoulder. Another noise came out, and Naruto smirked. It sounded almost like a moan, only gentler and with less lust in it. To experiment further, the blonde trailed the tip of his nose up Gaara's neck, slid up his jaw, and landed it in his hair while he stuck his tongue out to lick the redhead's burning ear. A sort of giggle-gasp erupted as a result, and Naruto moved back to Gaara's lips.

"I never got to say…" Naruto murmured between kisses, "how wonderful you looked… or how much… I'm come to love you."

Gaara gasped, or at least he meant to gasp. Instead, he inhaled and sighed happily, trying to slow his heart and fluttering stomach enough to speak. "And I never got to tell… you… how handsome you are, or… how much I'll always love you."

The blonde's features softened as he melted in their shared warmth against the other boy on the grass, holding him protectively, if not a little possessively. Gently, Naruto shook with breathless laughter. "We're a couple of saps, Gaara."

"I know," the Kazekage replied, running his hands through Naruto's hair. "But if it were any less than that, I might just be heartbroken."

* * *

**A/N: warning: the next chapter will have some fighting in it. and by fighting, i obviously don't mean between Gaara and Naruto. -insert 'oh teh noes' face here-**


	22. Is This All There Is?

It had been anticipated by everyone who saw them together that night that Gaara would probably spend the night at Naruto's again. Namely, the person who guessed this first was Temari, whom had dressed herself up quite nicely and had taken (more like 'dragged') Shikamaru to the festival. He tried not to blush, she could tell, but he kept failing. He also had tried to act quite subtle in trying to show off, but again failed. She liked that about him, though. Another thing she liked was her youngest brother being happy, an uncommon thing he got to experience. But that night she knew he had been plenty happy, for she had seen him sneak a kiss at the blonde boy he was with.

"Arigato, Uzumaki Naruto," she had whispered when she was alone later that night. "You succeeded in letting my brother feel."

She didn't think Gaara would be at the hotel that night; actually, she would've been offended by, if not boiling angry at, Naruto if Gaara had come back to the hotel. Temari knew there wouldn't be sex involved, however; neither boy was at all ready for something like **that**. Hell, she was older than them both and she wasn't ready.

With a smile she took out the ribbons and beads form her hair, undid her ponytails and ruffled her hair before sliding into a nightgown to sleep. Tomorrow, Temari knew, was a free day and a resting day before the Sand would have to exit Konoha. And this was absolutely fitting for herself, but she was worried the tiniest bit about Gaara; for him, tomorrow was like goodbye all over again.

She just hoped it would be a much better goodbye.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I woke up to faintly sticky skin, which I discovered was my cheek resting on Naruto's chest, I jerked upwards almost immediately, finding my legs tangled with his and my arms being ripped from his warm waist. I blinked once or twice, confused if I was still dreaming or truly awake and lying in Naruto's bed.

Apparently, it was the latter. I smiled to myself before remembering what day it was today, and how early I'd have to get up tomorrow to leave. I sighed, but only being propped up on one elbow meant my sigh carried over to tickle the blonde next to me. "Mmf, Gaa…ra…" he mumbled merrily before rolling over in the opposite direction, curling up on his side. In this motion the sheets shifted and slipped off part of his body, revealing a set of boxers. I suppressed a chuckle at the pattern that decorated the piece of clothing: triangular riceballs, complete with the black stripe at the bottom used to hold it in place.

"Naruto," I said gently, leaning into speak into his ear. His shoulder cringed, and a tiny giggle slipped out. "Wake up."

"But I don't want to buy any sea shells," he slurred, probably speaking to someone in a dream.

I rolled my aqua eyes at him. I reached up and shook him by the arm. "Come on, Naruto, it's after 9:00. You've slept plenty," I inform him.

The shaking of his arm didn't help; he just slumped backwards onto my torso, crushing me. "Er blur mm num," he gurgles, a tiny line of drool leaking out the corner of his mouth.

"G'dammit, Naruto, get off of me!" I flush, pushing up on his back.

His eyes peak open. "Huh? Nani?"

"Get. Up." I say between clenched teeth.

"Oh? Oh! I'm so sorry, Gaara!" Naruto bursts out, jumping off me and landing square on his butt on the wood floor. "Ouch…"

I chuckle at him while he rubbed the pain from his tailbone. "Heh heh heh heh…"

"Oh, sure, laugh at me why don't you?" the blonde says grumpily. He glares over at me, but not before his face breaks into a grin. "Aw, when the sun's behind you like that it makes you look pretty."

My smile fades and I look away, embarrassed. He has to go and spoil my fun by saying something, doesn't he?

I hear Naruto stand up and come to sit on the edge of the bed. "So, what's on the agenda for today, Kazekage-sama?"

"Don't 'Kazekage-sama' me, you baka. And I don't know."

"Then we'll have to think something up, won't we?" he says colorfully. He cracks his knuckles and ankles, yawning in the process. "Oh, boy, am I tired. I've been training my ass off all week. I'm glad I have the day off!"

"At least you weren't in meetings all week," I say tonelessly.

He nods his head. "Un; I'd rather be outside working than cooped up inside all day."

"Then how are you supposed to be the next Hokage?" I sneer. But it was meant to be playful.

The kitsune frowns. "Hey now," he scolds, "That's no fair. You know what I meant; I was comparing our situations, not your job title."

"Whatever you say," I shrug. "…I'm hungry."

"Really? Normally I'm the one who thinks of food first thing in the morning," he laughs. "But I can go make you something, Gaara. What do you want?"

"Toast," I say simply. "And coffee."

"Always with the coffee," he smiles. "I'm on it."

Naruto hops out of bed and heads out, going down the hall and into the kitchen. Personally, I just wanted to sit here a few moments longer. The sun streaming in from the window tingles my skin, and Naruto's bed was really soft. I didn't want to move from something so comfortable.

A few moments passed before I sigh to myself and unwrap the sheets from around my legs. I prepare myself to get up and 'greet the day', an action at the moment I wasn't too keen on completing. _Forget that it's your last day with him, Gaara,_ I instructed. _You'll see him again soon enough, now that he returns your feelings. So after today, just think of it as a tiny break before returning to Naruto once more. Enjoy it, say goodbye, and go back home with a clear mind. _

I nodded at this logic, willing a ghost of a smile to my lips. I started smelling coffee as I walked leisurely down the hall on the cool wooden floorboards. I found Naruto right where he said he would be (the kitchen), bread in hand as he adjusted the settings on the toaster. He slid the slices in and pushed down on the lever on the side, turning his attention to me. He rubbed the back of his head, his ears burning pinker than usual. "Er, you know, I was just thinking… you're not, you know, uncomfortable with the thought that we ended up sharing my bed, are you?"

"I'm slightly embarrassed by it," I say calmly, "But it was actually very comfortable. I've never slept so soundly. Or, when I have slept, it was never as restful as last night." I pause for a moment before sending a smirk at him. "Did you know that you make an excellent pillow?"

He chuckled nervously and whirled around at the sound of the toaster popping up. He took the toast out and buttered it, setting it down on a plate for me while the coffee finished brewing. "Uh… are you sure you only want toast?"

"Un."

"Well, what about… jam? Or peanut butter? Or cinnamon sugar?" he offered, holding up each item (the last had been mixed by hand in a dish, I noticed).

"No, just butter is fine."

He frowns slightly before cracking a smile. "You're a real simple person, aren't you Gaara?"

I shrug. "I suppose so." I seat myself down at the table, dragging the plate across the surface to rest in front of me. After a moment, Naruto hands me a mug of coffee and sets the sugar bowl beside it.

"I noticed you only take sugar in your coffee," he says proudly, happy with himself for remembering.

"That's right," I affirm, picking up the tiny spoon beside it and scooping up some of the small white crystals. I dump a couple teaspoons in, mostly liking my coffee bitter. It wakes me up more and tastes richer that way; too much sugar just overpowers the flavor. "And I noticed that you picked up more coffee to make, since I know for a fact I used the last of it yesterday morning."

"Heh, yeah, that's true; it's also a different kind because I didn't know what you'd like."

"But why bother?" I ask quietly. "It's like you knew I'd spend the night again."

"Er, well, I didn't know if you would, but I thought… you know… whenever you're here, I should have some coffee on hand for you. Plus, maybe I might grow to like it or something. It's just good to have around if I need it," he defends, but I was almost positive that Naruto had been hoping I'd stay the night again. For that, I smiled gratefully up at him.

"Either way: thank you, Naruto. For everything." I don't think he knew what I had meant. He had replied, 'sure, any time, Gaara' so casually and s quickly. Little did he know that I had been thanking him for not only the coffee, but for his hospitality, for sharing his bed so willingly, for taking me out last night, for being my friend, and most importantly: for loving me.

* * *

Konohakagure hadn't seen it coming. But maybe they should have, seeing as how they had let their guard down for a celebration night and rest day before the people of Suna left. Although, the enemy was pretty ignorant, forgetting that Suna had brought long some of it's best. Still, it was a dangerous situation: the Chunnin exam incident all over again, only with different circumstances.

"Chikushou! Naruto-onii, how could you let this happen?!"

"Me?! What part of this is my fault, you little brat?"

"If you hadn't been off with your friend, you could have helped prevent this!" Konohamaru argued, trying to doge kunai that the nin of the Sound were throwing.

"Look, I didn't even know Orochimaru still had minions lying around, okay? I thought we'd got them all! And my 'friend' is the Kazekage, so don't think so lightly of him! Or me, since I was assigned on an A-rank mission to protect him!" the blonde barks, using a clone to summon Rasengan in his right hand.

The younger boy snorted and turned to his teammates, whom were a few meters away. Rock Lee speared beside Naruto suddenly. "I wonder where all these shinobi came from! Or how they broke in the front gates!"

"I dunno, Lee, but maybe I can squeeze some answers out of this guy, dattebayooo!" he howled, charging at a random Sound nin, impaling him with the spinning ball of blue-tinted chakra. The man went flying, screaming as he went. Naruto jumped ahead of him to catch him squarely in the chest. "Why are you here?! Who sent you?!" he demanded, shaking the wounded ninja sharply.

The enemy smirked faintly, blood leaking out the corner of his mouth. "S-Sasuke-sama sent us," he coughed. "S-said now was the p-perfect time to attack, when your def-fenses were down. Especially yours," he cackled. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"How do you know my name?" the kitsune barked, shaking the man once, his grip on the front of his shirt tightening.

His head slumped, but he wasn't yet unconscious. He was panting heavily, coughing out the words. "Sasuke-sama showed us a p-picture. We're here for you."

The blonde's jaw fell slightly in surprise. "Nani…?"

"Sasuke-sama… wants you **dead**," he emphasized. Naruto grit his teeth, his eyes flashing red.

"Care to repeat that?"

He never gave the Sound ninja a chance to, however. In one swift movement, he broke the man's neck and hurled his limp body to the ground from a roof of some shop or another.

_He's lying,_ Naruto thought as his eyes scanned the city. _Sasuke wouldn't do that. He was bluffing when he had found him; I'm still his friend, I know I am. Somewhere inside that cold shell is the Sasuke I used to know. People never completely let go of who they were, especially if their old selves were good. Everyone keeps a little good inside them somewhere… the light never fades! It's never supposed to fade! _

**"Naru-to,"** Kyuubi hums in the teen's head. **"I understand your pain and logic, but that Uchiha is bad news. Don't put so much faith into him."**

Naruto's teeth grinded even more, his eyes flashing red once more. "Don't say that," he mutters. He jumps off the roof in search of Gaara; somewhere along the way of the redhead going with him to see his siblings and the attack the lovers had lost one another. Briefly Naruto saw Neji fighting 2 men at once, saw Kiba and Akamaru riding down an alleyway to intersect an enemy, even saw Sai drawing out some of his painted creatures to ambush a group of Sound shinobi. But he didn't care about any of that; he didn't even stop to check up on the dot of pink hair he saw; he just wanted to reach Gaara.

How did this happen?

How did things go from eating breakfast with Gaara to walking down a dirt road and being split by a pack of Orochimaru's (and apparently Sasuke's) minions?

How did Konoha get to be so fragile that anyone could break in?

Most of all, how did Gaara fight now that Shukaku was gone?

That last thought scared Naruto most of all, because that meant Gaara might not be able to defend himself…

The blonde shuddered, his eyes closing shut for a moment while he hung in the air during mid-leap. When he opened them again he was landing momentarily on a canopy, spotting a glimpse of a black cat-eared hood and red hair. _Kankurou and Gaara!_

Kankurou was in the middle of rounding up some unfortunate soul into the arms of a well-equipped puppet when Naruto landed beside them. "I couldn't ask for a worse day to fight, ne, Kankurou?"

"You got that right," the older boy grumbled, lacing chakra strings around the puppet's limbs to give it's victim a good squeeze. Blood shot and fell in ruby droplets in the dirt, and Naruto grimaced.

The blonde turned to Gaara, whom stood scowling fiercely and looking like he wanted to fight but couldn't. "Are you hurt, Gaara?" Naruto asks, concern filling his voice to the brim.

"I'm just fine," the redhead replies curtly. "I'm just pissed that my control over sand is so weak as of late, and that I don't have my gourd with me."

Naruto nodded, turning to take his place in front of Gaara. He smirked over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Gaara, that's what your siblings and I are here for: to protect you."

"I'd rather be protecting myself," he mutters s low that no one heard him. The miniature battle raging around them was enough to censor it out; there were shrieks and grunts and the sound of bodies hitting multiple surfaces filling the air.

"Does anyone even know why these dickheads are here to begin with?" Kankurou grunted, pulling one of his clacking wooden puppets out of the way of someone's blade.

"One Sound nin weaseled out that they're after me," Naruto says, a shuriken being summoned to his awaiting hands. "But that sounds like a lot of bullshit to me."

"Why would they want you?" Gaara asks behind him, his voice icy cold.

Naruto shrugs, lurching forward to send the shuriken spiraling at someone. It hits a tree trunk someone used to substitute for their body. The blonde curses over the miss and wields another of the same weapon. "Maybe they joined up with the Akatsuki to get rid of me and my demon," he chuckles darkly, not at all liking the sound of that idea. Gaara didn't like that, either.

"That better not be the reason for all of this," he growled lowly, his face staying eerily calm.

"Hopefully it's not," Kankurou agrees. "Naruto, can you stay and guard my brother? I have to go find Temari."

"No problem," the orange-and-black clad ninja replies, saluting the brunette. Kankurou nods and darts to the left, taking a sharp turn somewhere out of sight. "I wonder what Tsunade-baachan is doing about this," Naruto snorts, taking Gaara by the wrist and pulling him down a street. "I mean, where are all the freaking ANBU black ops?!"

"Naruto, where are you taking me?" the redhead asks, distress grazing his facial features.

"Somewhere safe," he replies with a crooked smile. "We can't have a defenseless leader running around in plain attacking sight, now, can we?"

"Demo –"

Naruto shushes the redhead and brings himself up against a wall. "I hear voices," he says in a whisper.

_"I haven't seen him anywhere,"_ says one voice, a deep-throated male.

_"Sasuke-sama said he'd be in town, so were just not looking hard enough. Uzumaki Naruto is around here somewhere…"_ says another voice, a bitchy female.

"Naruto…" Gaara says softly.

"Shh," the blonde snaps, leaning into the wall to hear more.

_"Did you hear that?"_ the bitchy female inquires, and she sounded much closer. Dreadfully close.

_"I did,"_ poses the gruff male, a shit-eating grin ringing in the undertones of his voice. _"Should I weed 'em out?"_

_"Be my guest,"_ replies the female, the same kind of grin sounding in her tone.

"We have to move," Gaara urges in a sharp whisper. "Right no–"

"Well howdy there," greets the male sound nin, who was probably the tallest, most broad-shouldered man the two boys have ever seen. "Mind if I annihilate you two?"

"As a matter of fact," Naruto says with a cocky smile, "I do."

And with that he conjures up Rasengan in his right palm and chucks it at the man, whom had not at all seen something like that coming. A few dozen clones appear, all of Naruto, to surround him and barricade him with quick jabs and kicks to wear him down. But he proves to be as tough as nails. Although, maybe, 'as tough as a hammer' would be more suitable to describe his actions, since nails can bend and get dented where as a hammer will stay perfectly steady.

He coughed, a dribble of blood barely staining his lips. "Nice try, kid, but I won't go down so easily. You, on the other hand, should."

"Gaara, get out of here!" barks Naruto, getting into fighting position. He mumbles 'kage bushin no jutsu' and does a small hand sign to summon more clones; a lot more.

"Iiya!" snaps the redhead. "I won't abandon you if you're what they're after!"

"Shut up and leave, Gaara," Naruto says between grit teeth. "I won't let you get hurt trying to stay and protect me."

"Neither will I."

"Aw, how touching," the bitchy female Sound ninja coos with false concern. "They're such good buddies that they won't leave each other."

"It's terribly kawaii," the man mocks, "But I have a job to do. Come on, Uzumaki Naruto, is that all you got? I'll take your best shot!"

"Rrrrrrrraaaaahhhhh!" the yells from low in his throat, and Gaara jumps back slightly at the noise. Naruto charges, his eyes going completely red, his whisper marks turning longer and much darker.

Gaara watched, frozen, as his love's charge is stopped short brutally and the blonde get's stabbed in his upper torso near his left arm. A sort of burning sensation filled him then, coarse and scorching like a desert storm. "NARUTOOO!"

* * *

**A/N: over 3200 hits, 18 alerts, 8 favs and 2 C2s?! are you guys insane?! if you are, then i adore you ever the more! thanks so so so0o0o much! -hearts and pie for all of you-**

**side note: shit, you guys! NOT INCLUDING this chapter, i have used the phrase "a little" exactly 80 TIMES. wtf! i try not to use it too much, but... shit... i did. and i'm only now realizing this. D:  
--ANDAND i'm writing the next chapter right away! i swear you won't be hanging on that cliffie for long. and oh, i was in Iowa with no internet for a few days, so that's why i haven't updated until now. **


	23. Raw Fury

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

I willed the dirt all around me, ever shred of rock and particle of sand to me, concentrating with blind rage to get the sand to do what I want it to, and to have as much of it as possible. I tried recalling all the hand signs I've ever done, tried bringing back to my mind after months of inactive fighting what jutsus I had preformed with such ease when I had had the Ichibi No Shukaku.

How dare he lay a hand, a _weapon_, on Naruto; on **my** Naruto. How dare he, that bastard! And that wench over on the sidelines… she thinks she can distract me and fend me off. Ha. Does she know who she's dealing with? I'm Sabaku No Gaara! I'm the 5th Kazekage of Sunakagure! Most of all, I'm Naruto's precious person; and he's mine.

_Come on,_ I think with a scowl and a grind of my teeth. _Work with me, work with me… _

A few inches thick of sand comes to my summoning, but I need more; tons more. This won't be enough. It might crush that woman in a sand coffin, but if I want to kill that big man fighting with Naruto, I'll need more than just this.

"Oh, so you're form the Sand, are you?" the wench says, noticing the cloud of earth that started to surround me in thin streams. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You better hold your tongue," I mutter, my face hardening as I fill with raw fury. "You're in no shape to speak so heedlessly."

"Am I not?" she replies, smirking. "My partner is currently beating the shit out of your friend over there, and you'll soon be in the same position."

"That's what you think," I retort, although it was partly a bluff. I had no idea how well I could control this sand with such low levels of chakra. It seemed that, ever since my death, the chakra what fueled me never quite matched my old levels. Perhaps it was because of Chiyo-baasama's life-exchanging technique, giving her chakra for my own; well, hers and Naruto's.

"Bring it on, Red." she cackles, pulling out two razor-sharp metal fans. They were tiny compared to my elder sister's, although they were normal for the average hand-fan.

"You're awfully disrespectful," I say dryly, clenching one fist by my side to hold a dagger of sand. With the other I held it out in front of me, trying to engulf the woman's body in what sad I could control. But she was so fast, and my reflexes after death are so slow…

I licked my lips and glanced over at the kitsune, whom was bleeding and panting profusely. My heart ached at the sight of him being in so much pain… they were going to pay for this. With their lives.

"Why should I respect my opponent?" she winks, tossing one fan in my direction like a boomerang. It makes a whirring noise as it breezes passed, and I can hardly dodge it… why sand won't automatically block attacks anymore. That part of me is dead, sucked out along with my inner demon.

"Because your opponent," I say in a monotone, "Is the Kazekage of Suna."

"Oh my, you're really the Kazekage? Isn't that a treat! We can take out two threats at once that way."

I bite down on my lower lip, trying to hold back saying anything._ Just crush the bitch in a cocoon and sand and get over to Naruto. He needs you, _I remind myself.

I chuck the dagger I had made at her, and it slices across her arm as she tries to turn out of the way. A satisfying waterfall of crimson liquid comes down from the tear in her clothing. I smirk at her. "You're right; we can take out two threats at once this way." I nod to her and her comrade, reversing her phrase to suit me and Naruto.

She just scowls and lands on a roof, beginning to sprint down it's length. Coward, I think.

As much as I wanted her dead, I wasn't a heartless killer anymore. I'll let her run. For right now, my main focus was my wounded love.

"D-dou…shite…" I hear Naruto murmur as he struggles beneath the grip of the bulky man from the Sound. "Why are you g-guys after m-me, 'ttebayo?"

I try to collect more sand; hearing him speak through clenched fox-like teeth with so much pain like that was hurting me. Not to mention it was pissing me off to the nth degree. _I have to gather as much as possible if I want to crush that fucker into a bloody pulp and save Naruto..._

"Sasuke-sama and Orochimaru-sama need you out of the way. They realize a quicker way of getting rid of the Akatsuki is to eliminate one of their targets. They want to rule the world with brute force, and one way is to absorb the demons of all the Jinchuuriki. But you already knew that, didn't you? But I guess…" he smirks, squeezing Naruto's throat, making him poof into nothing. It had just been a shadow clone, thank Kami. "…You just didn't know why Orochimaru-sama would bother. Well, he figured, a happy Sasuke-sama is a happy Sound Village, and an angry Sasuke-sama is hell. And what would make Sasuke-sama happy is to have his dobe taken care of, if you know what I mean."

"Oi!" three Naruto's snap. "Only he can call me 'dobe'!" and with that the three charge, all wielding Rasengan. _How,_ I wonder, _does he have enough chakra for all of this? Isn't he being too drastic?_

"Naruto, stop it! Let me handle him!" I yell at the blonde. One of him, one that wasn't charging but instead holding his wound and on looking the situation from farther away, the** real** Naruto… turns to me and smiles weakly.

"I'll be just fine. You should go, Gaara; you're in no shape to be fighting yet. You can hardly control your sand…"

"Shut up," I snap at him. "You know me better than that. I'm not one to run away selfishly. I will protect you as much as I'm able, Naruto."

Some flashing across his face, his eyes shifting from red to cerulean for half a minute. In those 30 seconds, I see his features soften and his eyes glisten with some inner inspiration. Then, turning serious once more, he straightens his posture and cracks his neck. "Thanks for that, Gaara. You just helped me realize something…"

I blink at him, pausing for a moment in my effort to gather sand. I asked with my eyes, 'What are you talking about? What are you thinking?'

He doesn't see the look I sent him, but instead tries forming a line of chakra over his knuckles. Slowly, I see it take the shape of a blade. It's shifty at first, but then it straightens out and appears to be a solid-chakra weapon like the Rasengan, but in a much different text. "You made me realize something, Gaara…" he says, leaning down to prepare himself to rush at his enemy. "I have to apply my training with Kakashi to what I already know in order to protect the people I love, if not myself. I can see that… you're trying so hard… to use your sand like before. Demo… de…mo…"

His breath was becoming accelerated, and I noticed the sheen of sweat on his skin. He was pushing himself too far! "Stop it, Naruto! You're going to hurt yourself…"

"Aren't I hurt already?" he chuckles weakly, darting back and forth in a zigzag, heading directly for the confused and awaiting Sound ninja. "I'll be fine! If I have to, I'll just use Kyuubi's chakra! No fight is too much for me!" he assures, taking aim for the heart of his enemy.

My breath catches in my throat and I will my eyes closed, pressing them together tightly. _Come on, sand, come on… I have to help Naruto; I just have to… dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!_

I hear the sound of a gash against bone and the thud of something that had fallen to the ground. But I refuse to look until I know I have enough sand to cover the surface of that tall man's body. Slowly, slowly… as if time was reversed to last a lifetime within each minute… I had collected enough sand to do what I want. My eyes fly open and I see a thick, blood-splattered left arm twitching slightly on the street. "Huh?!"

Naruto smirks at his opponent. "Wind can cut through anything if it's compressed and sharpened enough."

That makes sense; Temari can cut down whole forests with two swings of her giant fan, making a slicing whirlwind of air currents. Hmm, that must mean that Naruto is of the wind element. I smile, proud of him. He can be so tricky at times…

But I can as well. For now it was my turn to inflict a wound, and hopefully my sand coffin will work now as well as it has in the past (although Kimimaru and Deidara had proved to be very difficult to crush entirely with my sand. For God's sake, I was only able to get Deidara's arm; what a shot to my ego that was. Then again, I don't really have much of an ego…). "Naruto, I got it from here," I call out to him. Currently he was trying to slice at the man's right forearm as he held the blonde up by his throat. I growl at this, knowing the Naruto in his hand wasn't a clone this time. So, while exhaling to calm myself, I murmur a few phrases to myself and raise my hand sign up to eye level in front of my face, watching as the sand curled around the Sound shinobi's ankles like squid tentacles.

"What the –?!" he cursed, frantically looking down between him and Naruto at the creeping sand.

I was starting to see stars and my head felt light, but I have to do this one last thing… like trying to remove the cloud of sand from my village before I was kidnapped, I have to use what strength I had to save the person who has saved me in the past. My sand makes it to the Sound nin's neck before he drops Naruto and begins to panic.

"Gaara, you look like you're going to pass out! Stop that!"

"Almost… there…" I mumble, the sand enclosing around the man's open mouth and eyes.

"Aiiiieeee!" be screeches as I close both fists and crush his body within the layer of sand.

Although, in killing him, my knees fail me and I fall to the ground, the only thing hold me up being my palms against the soiled ground. "Gaara!" Naruto calls out breathlessly, hobbling over to where I was.

"I'm fine," I tell him, pushing myself up enough to be considered 'standing'. "But what about you?"

My eyes land on his hands, which were clutching the biggest wound he had, the one on his upper body. "I've had worse," he grins, his eyelids drooping. His head starts to nod, and before I can react he faints.

"Naruto!" I gasp, leaning forward to catch him. But I'm much too weak at the moment, and he's a tad bigger than I am, so I can't stabilize him. I'm able to break his fall with my body, but that's about it. We land in a heap on the ground, and I grunt at the sudden weight. "Dumb… ass…" I snort, smiling in the slightest.

"Gaara!" says a female voice, and I recline my head to see Temari running with Sakura towards us.

Sakura reaches us first, trying to lift the bloodied blonde from me. Temari comes next, looping my arm around her shoulders to carry me.

"What the hell happened here?!" my older sister asks, anger brewing in the back of her words.

"A fight with some ninja form the Sound," I cough in reply. "They were after Naruto, so I saved him."

Sakura's eyes fall to the pile of crimson-stained sand, noticing some of the bones that leaked through. She grimaced and nearly gagged. "I can see that…"

Temari's own teal orbs flicker between the pile and me, questioning without words, 'How were you able to do that in your state?'

I give a lopsided grin. "Come on, onee-chan. Just because I lose my demon doesn't mean I lose my ability. I'm still Gaara of the Desert…"

She laughs feebly. "I guess you're right. Come on, Sakura-san, we have to get these two to the infirmary."

"Right," the other girl nods, carrying Naruto on her back. She looked pretty scuffed up, and I wondered how she can carry him so easily when I couldn't. But then I remembered what Naruto had said about her training beneath the Hokage, and how strong the pink-haired girl had become.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

I woke up to dim lighting and a stiff bed, my muscles sore and a dull throb emitting from my chest. I touch the spot, feeling a huge patch of gauze under the fabric of my shirt. "Mm, water…" I hum groggily, propping myself up to reach for the nightstand. I knew I was in the hospital, and I knew that meant they always put water beside my bed I'd been here enough in the past to know that much, even after just waking.

But as I turned to get the glass of water, I noticed someone slumped over in a chair by my bedside. They slept peacefully, one of their hands holding up their head while the other rested on the side of my cot.

"Gaara?" I smile, lifting the glass of water to my lips. It tasted room-temperature and a little stale from sitting out all afternoon, but I chugged it down anyway as I stared at the redhead. "You stayed by me the whole time?"

His brow twitched and his eyes peaked open at the question, and he sat up to yawn. "You're awake," he stated flatly.

"Yup," I grin, setting the empty glass back down on the end table. "Are you feeling okay?"

He shrugged. "For the most part. I'm just tired."

"Why don't you take the bed next to me and rest?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "I'm not _that _tired."

Shizune walks into the room then, a tray of food in her hands. "It's good to see that you're feeling better, Naruto-kun!"

I take the tray from her and set it beside me. "What's the status?"

"On what? Oh, you mean on the Sound and Konoha… well, Tsunade-sama's ANBU took care of it, along with some of the jounnin. There weren't as many shinobi from the Sound as n we had thought… I was so afraid for you, Naruto-kun. They were after you!" the dark-haired girl says fiercely. "And they mentioned Sasuke-kun…"

I fell silent for a moment. "Apparently, Sasuke doesn't care about me anymore. But I don't care; really I don't. He can try and kill me all he wants, he won't succeed. As for the Akatsuki and Orochimaru… well, they're just unfortunately that I have Gaara." I wink, and said redhead jerks up to peer curiously at me, tiny grin lighting up his turquoise orbs.

"Hai," Shizune laughs. "We saw what he had done to that man to help you. It was very brave."

"Hardly," Gaara grunts, looking embarrassed.

"No, it really was!" Shizune assures, "Even Tsunade-sama said so!"

"Humph," Gaara grunts again, a flush reaching his cheeks. He obviously didn't like hearing praise. "I was just doing what came natural."

"Which is protecting the people you care about; I know. Still, Tsunade-sama said that you shouldn't have been able to do such a feat; and yet you had, which is why it was so noble."

I nod in agreement. "She's right, Gaara. Thanks so much…" I murmur while reaching over to touch the hand that still rested on my bedside. I clutch his pale hand tightly, showing my appreciation.

"I'll go get everyone and tell them that you're awake," Shizune says after a moment. "Don't forget to eat and get your strength back up, Naruto-kun!" she adds before heading out the door.

"What a way to spend our last day together, eh, Gaara?" I say pathetically. "Sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks softly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

His face remains steady but under my hand I feel him shake. I sigh sadly. "C'm'ere," I tell him.

"Eh?" he puzzles, cocking his head in that way I like.

"I said 'come here'," I grin, scooting over in the hospital cot, a wince grazing my features.

"Don't move too much," he tells be, but I wave that aside.

"C'm'ere," I repeat, patting the space I had made.

He visibly hesitates, glancing around and at the space on the bed. Sheepishly, he crawls out of the chair and climbs on the white-sheeted mattress and settles down beside me. Through the window, I see the sky start to turn orange and pink; the sun will be setting soon.

I slip my arm around his thin waist, my cheek leaning against his hair. My tray of food lays ignored at my side, and I lift it up o place on the opposite end table for the bed to my right. As comfortably as I could with my still-healing wounds (which should be gone in a day or two thanks to Kyuubi's healing abilities), I snuggled up against Gaara on the small cot. "Aishiteru," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear.

He brings my empty hand to his lips, touching it lightly. "Arigato," he whispers into my hand. "For living, for loving, for changing something inside me that day…"

I didn't entirely comprehend what he meant, but I wanted to. I didn't ask, although I might later. I smile dimly, closing my tired eyes. "No, thank you, Gaara; for coming back to me from death, for loving someone who still holds a monster inside of him, and for rescuing me from that thug today."

"Shut up, I hardly did anything," he mumbles, still not liking to be flattered. I chuckle at him, the action making me cough. "Don't." Gaara says, bringing a hand up to press against my chest. "You're still healing."

I shrug, not really caring. Through the door a face or two appears, and I'm tempted to take my arm off of Gaara and sit up straighter, but it would offend him, I apprehend suddenly. Plus, I was too tired to sit up much straighter than I was.

Into the room burst Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato-taichou and Iruka. Sai had a few bandages over his arm, stomach, and forehead, and Kakashi's right arm was in a sling. "What the hell happened to you guys?" I asks, pointing to the patch over Iruka's eye.

"We were fighting just as hard as you were," Yamato states, his mouth raised at the corners into a smile.

"That's right," Iruka-sensei says, taking a seat in the chair where Gaara had been. Vaguely I wondered if he was suspicious as to why the redhead was laying beside me. "We just were careful enough not to get ourselves bedridden."

"Ha ha ha," I sniff, rolling my eyes. "Very funny. I'll have you know that bastard was tough. It was hard to not get myself bedridden."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," Sakura giggles, coming to stand beside Iruka. "Speaking of which, did someone tell you that we won over the Sound?"

"Yep," I nod. "Shizune-san did."

"Good," Kakashi-sensei sighs. "I was afraid I'd have to explain the whole thing to you."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I snap, taking my arm off of Gaara and pointing it accusingly at him.

"Nothing," the silver-haired man replies. "I just don't like having to break things down so simply for you to understand. With anyone else, I could just say a few things and they'll get it, but explaining things to you always takes forever."

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei, you better watch your mouth, dattebayo!" I snap at him, narrowing my eyes.

He just chuckles, and Iruka joins him. "There's the energetic Naruto I know. Good to have you back; you scared us for a while there, hat with sleeping a whole day and everything…"

My face falls as I stare blankly at him. "Eh? A whole day…?!"

Next tome, Gaara nods his head. "Hai. I was supposed to leave this morning with everyone else, but I stayed behind. I'll leave tonight at about 7:00 for the Sand. They can deal with a few extra hours without a Kazekage."

I crane my neck to look directly at him, staring hard. "Gaara! You should've stayed behind just for me! Fuck, I just shouldn't have been out for so long!"

Sakura giggles. "It's okay, Naruto; don't get so strung up."

"D-demo…" I start, but Gaara claps a hand over my mouth.

"Anyhow, I think we should be going," Sai nods curtly. "We just wanted to make sure you were alright, Naruto-kun."

Iruka stands and grins. "Yup; and make sure that you eat."

Yamato-taichou nods his head, turning to leave the room. "Don't forget about that tray of food, got it?"

Sakura winks at me. "You seem perfectly fine now," she hints, motioning to Gaara beside me. "Enjoy your time together, 'kay?"

And then the group left, but not before Sai set down some papers on the empty chair. "Sakura said you'd want to look at those."

After he had exited, Gaara reached over and took in had the papers. "These are well-drawn," he says, raising his nonexistent brows. "You must be some inspiration to him is he made these."

He turned to show them to me, and I took them from him. I shifted through the 4 pages, smiling to myself. They were the drawings Sakura said Sai had been painting of me when I was training with Kakashi-sensei. Gaara was right; they did look pretty damn good. I shrug at the last thing he had said. "Nah, I just look awesome when I'm training or fighting; so awesome that everyone wants to draw me," I say with fake cockiness and a laugh. "All jokes aside, they are very good. Sai has talent."

"So do you," Gaara adds. "You have plenty of special talents, ones that no one else has."

I blush slightly. "Now you're just trying to embarrass me," I grin.

"On the contrary, I'm trying to raise your spirits. And it's the truth, whether you admit to it or not."

I stare hard at Gaara. His face looked so sincere, so sure of himself. I nod. "You're right. And you know, you have some mention-worthy abilities yourself…"

"Like what?" he inquires, a teeny confused frown on his features.

"Like…" I think, putting a hand to my chin. "Like your unique sand jutsus, your ability to push passed pain in a way no one else really can do, or even..." I grin coyly, stealing a glance at him, "Your kissing abilities."

A dark rosy color floods his face at that last mention. "Now _you're_ just trying to embarrass _me_," he says matter-of-factly.

I laugh. "Maybe I am. And maybe I'm just sad that you have to leave in a little over an hour for Sunakagure, which means I won't feel those kisses for a long while."

His blush doesn't disappear, but his eyes fade on that note. "I really don't want to leave," Gaara says stiffly. "But I have a duty to my people to be there for them. I can't be self-centered and stay here. Like you said to me a couple months ago: 'I can't stay in Suna forever, you know.' And you were right. Neither of us can be in the opposing Village for too long."

I sigh. "True, but neither of us can be apart from the other for very long, either."

Vaguely, Gaara smiles. "Which means we should probably visit one another as often as possible?"

I nod, picking up the tray of food to munch on it's contents. "Yup. I'll take every mission I can that's to Sunakagure or passes it. And when I become Hokage – because I shall, mark my words! – I'll be sure to arrange all kinds of meetings and get-togethers with the Sand. Oi, maybe I should even make a national holiday for every anniversary of the finishing of the treaty! It could be every year on the same day as the festival…"

"That's a great idea," the redhead nods, his eyes shining as he imagined it. Then he turned to my tray of food. "May I have some?"

"Of 'course!" I chuckle, popping a piece of cantaloupe in his mouth. He blinked at the action before chewing the melon. A drop of juice leaked from his mouth, and I was tempted to lean over and lick it off. When I gave into this impulse, I felt Gaara become considerably rigid, his jaw stopping mid-chew. I placed a quick kiss on his lower lip before leaning back and taking another bite of food. He blinked a few more times before swallowing, reaching over for another piece.

We continued to eat together, side by side, until the tray was empty and the sun was hidden behind the line of trees in the distance. The clock struck 7:00, by which time I was begging Gaara to not leave until morning.

"What's a handful more of hours? It makes more sense to travel by day, anyway!"

"Fine," he sighs, defeated from all my pleading.

I flash a devious grin at him. "Yatta!"

* * *

**A/N: i have got to take a break from reading the D. Gray Man manga online. sheesh, it keep sucking me in! i'm so addicted to it! but that's bad news for you guys, becuase the more time i spend reading DGM, the less time i write. -takes a deep breath- okay, i am now going to stop reading and start writing more and more until the story is done. which, actually, might be in the next chapter or two. i don't have much more to write for this, really. BUT have no fear, i have about 4 chapters written for my AU NaruGaa fic, which means you guys won't be deprived of the pairing for long! -hearts-**

**-listens to "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM- this is such a good song. there's a really sad Naruto and Gaara video for this by ChildeAtHeart, whom is actually a user of FF.n, haha. oh! a not-sad-at-all vid she made that's NaruGaa is with the song "The Bad Touch", and OMFG that's such a hilariously awesome video! you should watch that one by her, too. she even made a "Famous Last Words" video centered around Gaara and Naruto... go watch them! seriosuly. -more hearts-**


	24. Closing: Changed By You

**A/N: ho damn, it's done. wow. that fast. but i think it came together quite nicely...? er, don't shoot me please. i do have Detrimental Benefits to submit today, so if you want you can launch right into that fic after this one.**

* * *

It was hard for them to part in the morning. They knew that they had plenty of memories to make together in the future, but it just seemed so sad that they had to depart in the now. Naruto didn't care anymore who knew how he felt about Gaara, so on the day the Kazekage had to leave he publicly clung to the redhead and kissed him repeatedly on the cheek. They were slow, sad pecks that lingered slightly with each one. Gaara tried to swallow his blush and pry the blonde from him, reassuring that they'd see one another again soon.

"Never longer than two months," he says, inwardly vowing to keep that promise no matter what.

"Okay," Naruto replies with a sigh. He looks up into the redhead's eyes, an ironic glint in his own blue orbs. "You know, I never thought I'd have a relationship like this with much of anybody, let alone with a guy. Honestly, Gaara, I think you changed me from straight to gay."

"Does orientation matter that much?" the Kazekage retorts. "Why can't people just fall in love with who they want? I've asked myself this before, I'll have you know. Maybe you an answer it for me."

"Hmm… I'm not sure," the kitsune frowns. But then he shrugs, his features loosening. He lays a hand on the redhead, an electric jolt sparking at his fingertips. He smiles. "But I guess it doesn't matter now. Take care of yourself, Gaara, and stay safe."

Gaara takes the hand from his shoulder and puts it to his lips, not kissing the tan skin but speaking into it. "I promise to be careful."

"That's what I like to hear."

One last hug, a final touch… then Gaara was jumping up into the trees and traveling branch to branch until he was out of Naruto's sight.

The blonde knew there was much more to come, dozens of things that will probably be full of pain, bliss, and everything in between. But for right now, he just smiles, turning to walk down to the ramen shop. It was time for breakfast.

* * *

**_Uzumaki Naruto_**

It was fitting that he chose the kanji character for love, 'ai', as something to wear on his forehead. It was red and crude, and looked from afar like a poorly made tattoo. But I knew better. I've been close enough to him in a kiss to see what it truly was: a scar. A burden from the past, raw and real.

It's not like I was going to ask him how or why he got it, but someday I think he'll tell me on his own. Having anything carved into your skin like that isn't pretty, but it was something that was just part of Gaara, and something I gladly accepted about him. That, and that one word… 'love'… it was exactly how I felt, and how he felt, and that was good enough for me.

…At least, this is what I think now.

Because now, I know what's true in Gaara's heart compared to before. Compared to what feels like decades ago when I had hated him, was afraid of him, and had fought him.

I really don't think I changed very much because of him. But I know for sure he's changed a lot because of me. And for what it's worth, the changes he's made in me were just as powerful at the ones I had made in him. To say that my feelings for the guy will never fade is an understatement; I know for a fact I'll feel the same way about him even to my next life.

That's how much we fit with one another. That's why 'ai' is so appropriate on him, and what it truly means.

* * *

**_Sabaku No Gaara_**

Uzumaki Naruto. Someone just about everyone knew. And I know him, too. I know him better than anyone else. We're alike, after all … two poor souls who were burdened with a legendary demon, once alone and feared, if not a little hated by everyone else. _Jinchuuriki._

But I'm not one of the Jinchuuriki any longer; thanks to the Akatsuki and their plans for taking over the earth. In a way, though, I'm thankful to them… they may have killed me, but they had lifted my greatest burden.

And, afterwards, I had discovered and gained the best burden anyone can carry: love for someone. Namely, the blonde knuckle-headed ninja that helped save my life.

Like me, I've heard he's changed. Still not much, because Naruto is a very consistent person, but I heard t was because of me. Originally, wasn't it the other way around?

He's Hokage now. Thank Kami; that boy deserves it. Plus, it makes communing between us much easier, and it gives us an excuse to get together like the old days. Funny, because he had kept his promise in making it a holiday for Suna and Konoha to celebrate our treaty completion from all those years ago. We had arranged that we meet at a large meadow in between the two cities, setting up large camp sites for all of those who wish to attend. We have out own little festival each year, fireworks and all.

I had kept my promise. Once, I broke it and it was a 3-month time span among visits, but that was because Naruto had become the 6th Hokage by then.

All in all, I had morphed spiritually miles and miles by the kitsune child; and for that, I know I'll always be in debt to him, and will always be grateful for him. And… I'll always love him, even until my second death and the lives to come afterwards.


End file.
